“So, fuck buddies wasn’t what you wanted.”
“And it’s not what I want now.”
“What’re you saying, Javi? Do you want me as your sub?”
That makes me pull back and sigh. “No.”
“You already have one.”
“Technically, but I haven’t seen her in two and a half months. It’s over. I just haven’t told her.”
She lets go of my hand and leans as far away from me as she can. Any trust she had just evaporated.
“Maddy, she’s not my girlfriend. It’s never been romantic. It’s a relationship, but it’s not a friendship or a partnership. It serves—severed—a purpose for her and for me. It’s run its course. I just haven’t had the heart to tell her because I wanted to avoid an argument.”
“You’ve just been stringing her along. Making her wonder why you’re not into her anymore. Making her sit around, waiting for you to pity her with your attention.”
“No. She’s free to see whomever she wants, and she does whatever she pleases. I’ve avoided it because she needed a place to stay a few months ago, so I let her move into one of my rental units on Staten Island. I don’t want to kick her out, but part of the reason my interest fizzled is because I know she’s taking advantage of living rent free.”
“Taking advantage? She probably thinks she has a shitty boyfriend.”
“Hardly.” My laugh’s hollow. “She’s not some kept woman. Some mistress I keep tucked away in a fuck pad. I tried helping her out when her landlord upped her rent by five percent with barely the legally required advance notice. She knew it was a favor and changed nothing about our agreement. She knew it was supposed to be temporary, but she’s stretched it out. I don’t want an argument, and I don’t want to dump her on the street. I’ve avoided it and just let her stay there.”
Maddy stares at me, and I feel like shit on the bottom of her shoe.
“You’ve always avoided conflict when you can. I know your roles in your family mean you stir up shit, but it’s never been your instinct to do it.”
She watches me for another moment before looking down at where my hand now rests on her thigh.
“Why don’t you give her the option to move out or pay rent?”
“I was going to do that once I ended our arrangement, but it’s not like I’m going to do that over text or the phone. She deserves me seeing her in person to end it.”
“But you suspect she’ll argue with you about it, so you’ve been ignoring the situation. It won’t just go away.”
“I know. But I have a more important reason than ever to break it off.”
Maddy cocks an eyebrow. She looks like she did in the hotel room and in the restroom stall. She looks beautiful.
“Maddy, I’ve thought about you nonstop since the hotel. I figured out who you were when I sawTíoEnrique’s tat right after we left the hotel. I waited outside the hotel for you, but I discovered you’d already left. I knew you went to another hotel, then to your parents.”
“You’ve stalked me?”
“Yeah.”
She blinks three times before she laughs. Not the response I expected.
“If it were anyone else, that would be fucked-up and freak me out. But you’re so honest about it, and I know it’s because you’re worried about me. I guess I can accept that.”
“It’s given me time to imagine a lot of shit between us, and not all of it was sexual.”
“But some of it was?”
It’s my turn to sit here blinking before I cock an eyebrow. She smiles and shrugs.
“Maddy, the list of whatever you aren’t telling me is probably a mile long, but it all stems from you just ending a relationship. I have one to end. This is a shitty time for either of us to want someone new. Not to mention your in-laws will execute me when they find out I’ve even breathed in your direction. But I know what I want.”
“Oh?”
