“You promised to come to me if you were ever in danger again. We both lie.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“So? These bruises were fresh.”
“I release you from that promise.”
“Fantastic. I don’t release you from yours. If you don’t tell me what the hell is going on, I will dig until I find out. I will be your shadow like I was for nearly a year, but you won’t appreciate it. I will find out. I will hold it against you for keeping it from me.And I will retaliate against whoever this was tenfold for whatever I find out they did to you.”
“You’re threatening me into confessing, so I won’t feel guilty about someone else’s blood on my hands. That worked when we were in high school, but it doesn’t work now.”
“Am I too late?”
Simmering anger on the cusp of rage darkens his already perpetually tan cheeks. He and his high school girlfriend went to make out in the same park I did with a guy I’d just started dating. The guy wanted more than I was willing to give. Javier heard me banging against the window as I tried to get the guy off me. Javier left his girlfriend and ran over to the car. He didn’t know it was me at the time. He just knew it was a woman screaming.
The guy locked the doors with his key fob once we climbed into the backseat. I thought we were going to make out a little, but the guy wanted full-on sex. I was a virgin and planned to stay that way. When Javier tried to open the door, he discovered it was locked. He ran back to his car, got the tire iron, and shattered the driver’s window.
He got the doors open, then dragged the douchebag out of the car. I thought he was going to kill the guy. Instead, he broke a couple ribs with the tire iron. He wanted to call the cops—risk having them see him since he insisted on being my witness.
I refused. I didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want my parents involved. Stupid teenager that I was. The compromise was Javier appointed himself as my bodyguard. We didn’t go to high school together since I lived in New Jersey, and he lived in Queens. But every day, he’d make sure I got to school safely before booking it to his school. I think he was tardy almost every morning for a semester. As soon as he finished practice for whatever sport he was playing, he’d go to my house to make sure I got home safely.
On weekends, he’d be my shadow when I went out with friends. He kept an eye on me when I went out with other guys. He was a ghost, but I always knew he was there. I wished countless times when Drew first started abusing me that Javier was around, that I could count on him. Then that fantasy fizzled.
“Maddy, answer me. Am I too late?”
I shake my head.
“Say it. I told you, you don’t have the right to remain silent.”
“I have to go. Anton’s going to wonder what’s keeping me.”
“Let him. Tell him your stomach rebelled. I don’t give a shit what lie you tell that asshat. You will answer me.”
“No. You aren’t too late. Nothing like that happened.”
“But someone hurt you.”
“I take a martial arts bootca?—”
“Lie to me, and I’ll spin you around and spank you just like I did that night.”
He sent his girlfriend home in a rideshare and hid me in the bathroom while Joaquin and Jorge came to get rid of the guy. He told them the girl he was with took off. Once his brothers left, he stalked into the bathroom and demanded answers like he is tonight. He warned me if I didn’t answer and insisted upon acting like a guilty child trying to stay out of trouble, he’d treat me like one. I crossed my arms and tried to look down my nose at him.
He pulled me out of the restroom like he pulled me into this bathroom stall. Took me to the closest bench, sat down, yanked me over his lap, and spanked me.
Hard.
I confessed everything, and he comforted me. When I stopped crying, I apologized for being awkward when he went to so much trouble to help me. I thanked him, and he helped me to my feet. That was when we exchanged our promises. We got in his car, and he took me home. We never discussed it again, butI knew what he did to keep me feeling safe. I never got to thank him for that.
“Javi, please don’t make me.”
I thought I could sound strong, but my voice is a tremulous whisper. I feel weak, which makes me feel defensive. He pulls me into his arms, and I remain rigid.
“Maddy, it’s me. Let me help you.”
“There’s nothing to do. You know I have a fake identity. What was happening is over now. Let it go, just like I did.”
“If you want the spanking, then tell me.”
