“Finn?” Edie startled him.
He spun around in her doorway, letting go of the open door as though he’d been doing something he shouldn’t.
“Edie, sorry,” he spluttered. “I was just looking for you.”
The door to Edie’s office creaked closed as they both stood there in silence watching it.
“I didn’t go in,” Finn said, sheepishly.
Edie’s laugh made his heart soar.
“I wouldn’t have minded you going in, Finn,” she said, moving in front of him and opening the door again so they could both go in. “Here, why don’t you come in now. Sorry I was just getting a coffee with Moira.”
Finn did a double take at Edie.
“I didn’t know you two knew each other,” he said, curiosity about what they would have been talking about itching at him.
“Oh, we don’t really,” Edie said, taking a seat behind her desk. Finn sat down opposite her. “She’s just been helping me out to find my feet in the hospital, you know, that kind of thing. It’s nice to have another girl to talk to about…”
Edie stopped abruptly and looked down at the desktop, her face pink. Finn hoped that they hadn’t been talking about him, but Edie’s face kind of gave it away.
“She’s my secretary, I need her to remain impartial about my life, Edie,” he said, sternly, feeling exposed. “Can we get down to the business I came to talk to you about?”
Edie looked on the verge of tears and Finn felt reprimanded without her even opening her mouth.
“I would never reveal your secrets to anybody, Finn, especially not people at work,” she said, almost as sternly as he had just spoken. “I just felt embarrassed because Moira and I did talk aboutmyprivate life, let’s just leave it at that shall we? So, how did the surgery go? I’m assuming that’s why you’re here.”
The surgery.
Finn ran his hands through his hair and slumped in his chair at yet another foot in the mouth moment.
“He died,” he said. “It’s looking more and more likely that Mary won’t make it either. And we’ve not even spoken to each other about what’s going to happen with Anna. Why are you still avoiding me?”
Edie had the decency to look embarrassed this time. Finn hadn’t been trying to be mean to her, but the fact was, they had barely seen each other since the weekend. And even during their beach trip, Finn hadn’t spent any time with Edie because Mary had been so poorly. They were no further forward than they were last week, and Finn was finding it difficult controlling his feelings for Edie when he had no idea, still, how she felt abouthim.
“Oh, Finn,” Edie said, her face full of remorse. “I’m so sorry to hear that about Mr Bates, was the cancer too ingrained again? I’ll speak to Mrs Bates as soon as I can, I should head over to her now. She’s been waiting in the family room and she was trying to keep her hopes up, but I could tell that underneath she had already said her goodbyes. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about before I go, anything urgent? I don’t want to keep her waiting longer than necessary.”
Finn chewed the inside of his cheek. He needed to say it, it was now or never and maybe Edie hadn’t heard what he’d said.
“Yes. Weneedto talk about Mary and Anna.”
Edie sighed and ran her hands through her hair, sending the dark glossy waves cascading down her back.
“I know. I know we do,” she said, and puffed a gust of air out of her mouth as her body seemed to deflate. “Give me some time to talk to Mrs Bates, then let’s meet up and talk. Are you free later on today?”
Finn had booked in a squash session with his personal trainer for that afternoon, but he would cancel it in an instant if it meant that Edie would finally talk to him.
“Yes, I’m free all afternoon,” he said. “I hope that your talk with Mrs Bates goes okay, they were a wonderful couple. Come and find me when you’re done, I’ll be in my office when you’re ready. I’ll wait for you there.”
He caught her eye as he spoke and his heart jumped into his throat. He knew he would wait for her for as long as it took, and the thought made him scared. Her violet eye searched his face, but he didn’t know what answer he could give her because he didn’t know what they were searching for.
Instead, he turned and left her standing, watching.
Edie felt numb as she walked towards Finn’s office. The conversation with Mrs Bates had gone as well as could have been expected. There had been lots of tears, but the hope was not lost for Mrs Bates, and for the future of the trial. The new widow had been nothing but gracious and Edie had found it hard to keep her own composure. That was very unlike Edie when she was at work. This trial, this hospital, and this surgeon had wound its way into her life so that work was on a different level for Edie right now. And there was only so much she could blame on the pregnancy hormones.
Edie had thanked Mrs Bates; all the while her head wondered how she and Finn were going to get through the next surgery with everything it held for them. She knew—and felt guilty about—the lack of communication between her and Finn. If there had been a time for Edie to open up to him, this last week would have been better than most, yet something had stopped her. It hadn’t been for his lack of trying either. Edie felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. She wanted more than anything to open up to Finn and tell him she was pregnant with her ex-husband’s baby. To tell him that’s why she ran away from him that night, and it was nothing to do with his past or what had happened to him. But if she did that, would Finn not want any more to do with her? Would he send her packing from not only the trial, but fromhiswhole life too? Edie couldn’t imagine the upheaval and heartache that would cause, and she had been through enough already this year.
She knocked tentatively on his office door, having waved at Moira on the way past. Moira had given her the thumbs up, advertising to Edie that Finn was in his office and waiting for her arrival, then did the universal sign for ‘let’s go for a drink later’. Edie had smiled back, Moira had been a saviour the last few days, someone to text, someone to giggle with, someone to sharealmosteverything with. Edie thought these were the beginnings of what could be a lovely friendship.
