She turned to face him, and she must’ve looked like a terrified squirrel. Because he looked at her like he might look at a poor animal that needed quieting. But then he moved to her, and cupped her chin. He didn’t usually touch her like that. Intimate. Knowing. Firm. “We don’t have to do this. If it’s not working for you, or it’s not something you actually want, I’m okay with that. Rue, you are the most important person in my life. Nothing is ever going to change that.”
She wanted to thank him for that, but the words got jumbled up in her throat. And mostly, she didn’t want to think that meant she didn’t want this. She really wanted it. Really. She was terrified that he was looking for an excuse. An out.
But she was also just plain terrified.
Not because she didn’t want it, but because she did, and because of how much.
“I want this,” she said. “But I’m nervous.”
“Then let me take the lead. If we were knitting, you would have to be in charge, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Ihaveknitted before, you’ve shown me. But what I’ve come up with is just a lumpy mess. I just don’t have the experience. But you do. You’re a good teacher. So I could trust that whatever you told me would be the right thing. And that you wouldn’t be upset at me if it was imperfect, right?”
“Right,” she said.
“So think of this as knitting class. But it’s sex. And I’m the one that knows what they’re doing.”
She shivered, and looked around. Needing a barrier between them. Because this. “It’s bright in here.”
“Good,” he said, his voice rough, bringing her focus back to him. “I want to see you. I want to see every inch of you. Ruby Matthews, I have known you for most of my life. But I don’t know the secret of what you look like under your clothes. I’m a curious guy. I like knowing that the mystery is going to be solved. What do you think?”
“Yes,” she said, the word coming out breathless.
“Meaning you want to see me too?”
“Yes,” she said. “I... I want to see you.”
“Good. So I’m going to take the lead. And if there’s ever something that you don’t like, you just tell me to stop. I will. But trust me. Trust me that I know what’s going to make you feel good, okay?”
She nodded. He wrapped his arm around her waist then, bringing her flush against his body. Then he dipped his head and pressed his mouth to hers, and it was like those dark corners inside her all lit up. And all the fear just melted away. This was like the moment in the barn. When their lips had met for the first time.
So slick and hot and perfect. So glorious.
His large hand moved to her lower back, and a small moan escaped her lips. She didn’t even know herself in the moment. Maybe that was a good thing. She didn’t know herself, but she knew him. He was solid, his hands strong. He was Justice King. And there could never be any doubt about that.
He paused their kiss for a moment, and looked at her, and she knew a solid forty-five seconds of pure panic.
Once they did this they couldn’t go back. She would never be able to not know what Justice looked like naked. She would never be able to not know what it felt like to have him surge inside of her. She had convinced herself that they had passed the point of no return a long time ago. But this wasreallyit. These were the things that would never be a mystery again.
These were the things that would take their friendship, this thing that they’d cultivated and protected for years, and put it in a different space altogether.
Then he kissed her again, and there was no more room for panic, because need filled her, drove her.
Made her into something she didn’t even recognize.
The way his hands moved over her body, creating a web of tension inside of her, that each new touch vibrated. So that when he touched her lower back she felt it between her legs, so that when he slid his fingertips up her spine she felt it in her breasts, which had grown heavy and sensitized.
Her lips felt swollen, hot to the touch. He just kept on kissing her. On and on. He moved his hands through her hair, and she let her head fall backward as he kissed down her neck.
Then he moved back, and stripped his shirt up over his head.
Her throat went dry and the place between her legs went liquid. His chest was broad and muscular, his stomach muscles shifting with each hard breath. She had seen him shirtless countless times. But that was different. It was different, because even though she had been able to tell that he was aesthetically beautiful, she had been intentionally not looking at him as a sexual object.
Now she was.
She wanted to touch him. And she realized with a jolt that she could.
