Her heart was beating so hard she was dizzy with it, the instant, throbbing need between her legs like the works of fiction, and not of any sort of arousal she’d experienced in reality.
She clung to his shoulders, and she felt herself being propelled backward, and then suddenly, stopped.
“Dammit,” he said, moving away from her, the exhalation that happened in the moment leaving her weak, barely able to stand.
“Can we just not...?” Her eyes filled with tears. She just didn’t want him to pull away and act like it hadn’t happened.
“We need to talk,” he said. “I didn’t mean... I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Well, what did you mean to happen?”
“I meant to kiss you. I just didn’t mean for it to get that out of control. Five more minutes and... I’d have had you against the wall.”
The admission was raw, made her throat go dry. Made her body liquid.
“And that would’ve been bad?”
“Yes,” he said. “For the same reason you just said. Between us it’s never going to be nothing.”
“I know.”
“Let’s... let’s have a conversation about it.”
That was how she found herself back in the truck, driving toward his house.
Deeply uncertain as to whether or not a conversation was what she wanted. But one thing was certain. They wouldn’t be able to go back.
Chapter Seventeen
He was shaking. He was so hard it hurt. His whole body was on high alert, everything in him pushed to the brink.
He had known that he was lost the moment he had led her out to the campfire. Hell, he had tempted it. He had told himself it was to prove they were all right. That without the bar, without her tight dress, without the alcohol, things would be like they’d been before.
And this was where it had gotten them.
He had known that he was lost when she had looked up at him and whispered his name.
You made a huge mistake.
He had.
He was no stranger to mistakes.
He made mistakes with people.
With feelings.
He followed the wrong instincts.
He’d done it now. It was too late to turn back.
He’d known it was a risk, so had she. Still, they’d lingered. Lingered until they were alone, tempting this inevitability.
Looking at her standing there, illuminated by all the glimmering string lights, there hadn’t been another choice. He’d had to kiss her. Because he’d neverseen anyone or anything more beautiful than Ruby Matthews in that moment.
She was right. It would never be nothing.
He could also never go back to pretending he didn’t see this. To pretending he didn’t seeher. It was impossible.
