Not very much felt like a sin to him. But that had.
At that moment he’d made the determination that he was going to stay stone-cold sober all night, because if he had to protect Rue from other men and from herself while she was in a vulnerable state, then he was going to do it. Because the woman was dressed to make baddecisions. And there were far too many men who were going to be happy to take her up on them.
It was why it had caught him unawares like that. Same as the swimsuit.
Normally there were such clear rules around Rue he didn’t even have to think about go and no-go zones.
Tonight, she was dressed like a damned menace—and one thing Ruby Matthews had never been was a menace. But there was a reckless fire in her tonight and Justice couldn’t figure out if he was terrified, or in awe.
When they pulled up to Smokey’s Tavern the place was already heaving. It was Thursday night, but the cold winter ensured the place was packed out no matter the day of the week. It was about the only thing to do in town, really. Especially when it was still cold as hell and liquor and warm bodies were about the only things that sounded good.
When he and Rue had been kids, their version of that had been to hang out in the barn with a space heater and some blankets, eating snacks they bought from the store with their pocket money.
And speaking of that, Rue was looking very not like a kid tonight. Not like herself really either, which he was sort of relieved to identify because that meant it was a little less appalling that he’d checked her out. The dress was so much tighter and lower and shorter than he was used to on her, her makeup heavier. She was Rue but not Rue, and that had thrown him off for a moment.
His gut tightened. Rue but not Rue. Part of him whispered,Thatwould be ideal.
Lord. No. Absolutely not.
One thing Justice would never do was drag anyone else deeper into his shit. There were things not even Rue knew. Things no one else needed to know. Much less have to deal with.
He was the keeper of his own demons. And that was the best thing he could be, he knew.
But he wasn’t here to deal with his own demons. He was here to make sure that Rue’s didn’t get the better of her. And yes, the last forty-eight hours had been interesting, to say the least, but she was going through something. And he was not going to...
He looked over at her. She looked beautiful. Any man in there was going to immediately want to take her up on the offer that she was presenting in that dress.
She’s Rue. At the end of the day, she’s not going to do anything.
Her version of being wild so far had involved going on a trail ride and jumping into a pond.
Granted, her swimsuit had been a little bit wild. And he kept thinking of the moment in his truck cab after. When he had talked about the cave-in and the inside of the vehicle had gotten overly warm. When she had put her hand on his.
He gritted his teeth. That was just a no-go area for him. He had grown up with her. They had survived being teenagers together. He hadn’t been completely honest with her when she had asked when he had made the decision to become what he was.
The reality of the situation was he had been sixteen and she had started getting beautiful. In a way that he couldn’t ignore. So, it had seemed like a better idea totake the invitation of the seventeen-year-old daughter of a farmhand that had just moved there, who had more experience and sophistication then he did. Who had shown him exactly what she wanted, and hadn’t even wanted to get emotionally attached.
It had been the beginning of taking that path every single time. If there was a fork in the road and the option was intensifying one of the connections he already had or staying in the shallow end of the pool, he chose the shallow end. Nobody got hurt. Everyone had a good time.
Rue was sacred to him. A sister, maybe. Or something deeper.
He had a sister, and he loved her deeply, but it was still different than the relationship he had with Rue.
He’d decided a long time ago that he had no more business touching Rue than he did sitting in the front row at a church on Sunday. Sacred things weren’t for men like him.
He was a master of the profane, and little else.
He was just going to have to keep walking on the path that he had put himself on all those years ago. Because it was the right thing to do.
He wasn’t blindsided by the fact that he thought she was beautiful. He was blindsided by his inability to artfully look the other way. He had failed at that yesterday. The tension between them when they had gotten back to the house had been real. Palpable. The issue was she had looked at him too. And then tonight in her explosion of nerves she had acknowledged something that neither of them had ever verbally acknowledged before. That they both thought the other was attractive.
Which was maybe a silly thing to get hung up on. It didn’t have to be that deep.
It just was. Because it wasn’t just two friends complimenting each other. It was stickier.
Maybe the real reason he’d been okay with Asher was that it gave Rue what she wanted, and kept her at a very safe distance. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was why.
It made sense. He didn’t especially like it, but it made sense.
