‘I’m not asking you to wait, Evie,’ he says, his voice cracking. ‘I’m not even going to be in town anymore after today. Tonight, I’m getting on a plane to Melbourne.’
My lips fall open. ‘Oh wow, okay.’ I look away. Just when I thought this couldn’t get any more painful.
Kye tilts into my view, setting his distressed eyes on me. ‘I’m not running away from you, okay? Please don’tthink that. I was offered a job there—a lot quicker than I was expecting—and I’ve decided that it would be a good thing for me to take it. I can’t work with Austin anymore, and something’s come up with the organisation that looked after me when I was a kid. It’s mostly PR stuff—partnerships, fundraising. Trying to get more people to sign up as foster carers.’
A jab of pride pushes against the pain in my ribs. ‘Gosh, you’d be so good at that.’
He tries to smile. ‘Thank you. Obviously, there’s a risk of feeling triggered by it all, but I think that could be a good thing, maybe? If I want to start dealing with my past, I mean. I don’t want to shut myself off from my fears; I want to face them. With time, maybe some of those bad experiences and memories can be replaced with better ones. If that makes sense.’ He lifts a shoulder.
I nod slowly, blinking down. ‘It does.’
‘Plus, if I can come to terms with my past and what happened to me,’ he goes on, ‘maybe I can find a way to channel that into helping others.’
I reach for his hand. ‘Kye. You’re so brave.’
A clipped breath escapes his lips as he folds his fingers around mine. ‘Thank you. To hear someone say that to me—to hearyousay it—means more to me than you probably know.’
For some reason, that admission only makes this harder. ‘So, you leave tonight, then?’ I mumble, buckling internally at the thought.
‘Yeah. They want me to start as soon as possible. They’ve been looking for someone to fill this role for a while.’
A heavy silence descends upon the studio as we sit with our fingers laced tightly together.
‘I’m happy for you,’ I finally say, because it’s the truth. ‘And I’m devastated for me.’
Kye turns to face me, every ring of dark chocolate in his eyes blurring with emotion. ‘I’m so sorry, Evie,’ he says. ‘This is so fucking hard for me, too.’ He skims his thumb over my jaw. ‘The problem is that I would want all or nothing with you. I can’t do a casual thing with you, baby. I’d fall right in, and I’d …’ His choked breath trails off.
I catch him by the shoulders and pull him into me. ‘I know,’ I murmur against his trembling neck. ‘And I’m the same,’ I realise out loud, resting my cheek on his shoulder. ‘Maybe you’re not the only one who needs some time. For so long, I’ve been waiting to meet someone who makes me feel the way you do. But ever since we started getting close, long before you said any of this tonight, I’ve had this constant, terrible fear that I’m going to be let down by you. And Iknowthat’s more about what I’ve grown up with than anything you’ve done. So, I … I think I need to figure out how to heal from all that and find some peace within myself, too, before I can be with anyone else.’
He doesn’t say anything, but the way his arms cinch tighter around me makes me think he understands what I’m saying. I hope he does.
All of this hurts like a bitch, but Kye is right. We’re two wounded people. We need to step back, find a healthier way forward as individuals and then see if this is still what we both want.
‘Will you call me when you get to Melbourne?’ I ask, prising myself off him. ‘So I know you’ve arrived safely?’
He cradles my cheek in his palm. ‘Do you really think that’s a good idea?’
The answer hits me instantly. Hearing his voice … Knowing what he’s up to … Feeling as if I’m a part of his world … It’s only going to increase the temptation to jump on a plane.
I stroke my fingers over the hand that’s still cupping my face. ‘You’re right; I think we should have a clean break,’ I admit, the words stinging my throat. ‘At least for now.’
For several agonising breaths, we stare into each other’s heartbroken eyes, until I tip my head at the doorway. ‘You should probably go. I’ll stick around here. I’m going to need a big hug from Rafael. And a shipping container full of ice-cream. There’ll definitely be a Boyz II Men album in there somewhere, too.’
Kye’s brow crushes as he slowly nods. His palm slides off my cheek to land on my shoulder, and he gives me the gentlest tug forward, but I’m already moving. Our mouths collide in a desperate, bone-melting kiss, his tongue capturing mine and wrenching a soft moan from my throat. His takes both sides of my face in his hands and pulls me closer, kissing me deeper until there’s not a shred of breath left in my body.
‘I need to go,’ he says, dropping his forehead against mine. He then drags himself to his feet, every part of his body looking slumped and unwilling.
I stay motionless on the bench as his scuffed brown boots head for the door, his fingers clinging to mine. When our hands break apart, a gaping hole opens in my stomach.
Kye grips the handle, turning to look back at me. He’s so beautiful, inside and out, that it burns me alive.
‘I do, Evie,’ he says softly.
I blink at him, waiting for more.
‘I trust you.’
It takes me a second to figure out his meaning. But then my mind harks back to the night we spent together in the hotel suite. ‘You don’t even trust me?’ I’d asked. He hadn’t been able to answer then.
