“You’re too generous.” He took a single breadstick with long, elegant fingers. He nodded at her, then cast a brief glance at Frederick. “Thank you both. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”
Anne watched him turn back to his companion at his table, a beautiful brunette who looked vaguely familiar, then she faced Frederick as he tossed back the entirety of their first pour with his brows pulled low over his eyes. She’d been about to ask him what was going on, but he looked moody enough that she decided to leave things be.
She took a more moderate sip of her pinot grigio to actually taste the wine, unlike her grouchy tasting partner. It was delicious, but not as good as the Viognier they’d had at Tombstone Winery. Deciding to be sensible, she poured the remaining wine into the spittoon and drank a generous amount of water.
She doubted Frederick had kissing on his mind anymore, but the then-what had become much clearer with some time to reflect. She wouldn’t risk their uneasy truce for a fleeting kiss. He already seemed to be regretting their near-miss, broodingsilently beside her. It wasn’t until they were on their third wine that Frederick broke the stilted silence between them.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” he said, keeping his voice low.
“Overstepped?” she asked in an equally quiet voice, her brows burrowing into a frown. Was he apologizing for their almost-kiss? The thought sparked a burst of anger inside her. Was it so important to him to draw a line in the sand between them?
“I shouldn’t have gotten worked up over that man.” He grimaced in embarrassment.
“The man? Oh, you mean Ken?” Her voice rose incredulously, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. A surreptitious glance over her shoulder showed that the man was deep in conversation with the brunette beauty.
Frederick’s grimace morphed into a dark scowl. “How do you know his name?”
“Know whose name?” She gave her head a sharp shake to clear it. “You mean the breadstick guy? It was just a silly joke because he looks like Asian Ken.”
“Asian Ken? I don’t see it.” He raked his fingers through his hair, then said close to her ear, “Anyway, the man was obviously coming on to you. But you don’t need me to protect you.”
“No, I don’t,” she whispered, her chest tight with frustration. She wanted to say,Maybe I do. Maybe Iwantto be yours to protect.“Besides, he just wanted a breadstick.”
Frederick scoffed. “Don’t tell me you’re as naïve as you were ten years ago.”
“Fine. I won’t.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “I wasn’t so naïve back then to miss thatyouwere coming on to me, was I?”
“No.” He cleared his throat, tugging on his collar. “No, you weren’t.”
“I thought so.” She decided to let him off the hook and murmured, “It doesn’t matter who’s right about the breadstick guy.I’m never going to see the man again, so let’s just forget about him.”
“Great idea.” Frederick raised his water glass in a toast and said in a normal volume, “I’ll drink to that.”
She laughed, relieved he was over his sullen mood and that it wasn’t brought on by their almost-kiss. She clinked her glass against his and drained her water. It meant so much to her to be able to talk to him like this… to laugh with him. And she was grateful that guilt didn’t squeeze the air out of her every time she saw him.
Their long-overdue conversation on Christmas night seemed to have done them both a world of good. Maybe this was enough. Maybe she could live with him just not actively hating her anymore.
“Anne,” he said, his voice low and rumbly.
“Y-yes?” Her heart fluttered foolishly in her chest, all because he’d said her name.
“I… I think…” He stopped and coughed into his fist. “I’ve been awful to you every time I’ve seen you. I was still so… angry. I was devastated, and disappointed in you, when you ended our relationship like that…”
“I’m so sorry, Frederick.” Her face crumpled as her heart broke anew. Maybe her apology had been more cathartic for her than for him. Was there nothing she could do to make amends?
“No. Please don’t. You’ve apologized more than enough.” He reached out as though to touch her but stopped midair and brought his hand back down. “We were both young. You thought you were doing the right thing. And in some ways, you had no choice. It was wrong of me to punish you for something you did over a decade ago.I’msorry for being such a jerk to you.”
“You don’t need to apol—”
“Yes, I do.” He stopped her with a determined set of his jaw. “I should have let things go a long time ago. I actually thoughtI had. But when I saw you, all the old hurt and anger just resurfaced and dragged me under. Well, I’m not going to let the past stand in the way of the present anymore.”
“I don’t want that either.” Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and the rush of blood filled her ears.Say you want me. Please. Just give me a reason to give you my heart. To give you all of me.“Frederick, I…”
“I want us to…” He took a deep breath as she held her gaze. “I want us to be friends.”
Everything went still around her as a brokennowailed in her head. Her lashes flickered involuntarily, but she kept her face a placid blank, even as old scars tore open and grief bled into her soul.
She had thought their fragile camaraderie might be enough for her. She had thought first and foremost of healing his scars and regaining his trust. She hadn’t allowed herself to admit that she hoped for more… not really. But she had to stop lying to herself.
