But it hurts a little less because everything here is new, so I’m not constantly reminded of you. That’s the part I hate about you going back home while I stay behind at school. Everything reminds me of you. I can’t even eat fish tacos without thinking of you. You have to admit that’s tragic.Iam tragic when you’re away. The weekend drags on like eternity, and I miss you endlessly. I come alive only when you come back to me.
Even so, I wish it were me who’d stayed behind. I worry you might miss me like I would miss you. Does everything you see remind you of me? Does every part of you ache to be with me? I would rather hurt than have you miss me that much. Not when I can’t make it better. Not when I can’t hold you.
Despite the bummer tone of this letter (sorry, I just miss you and worry about you), Iamenjoying my time here in Maui with my sister and my brother-in-law. Shannon bought a whole box of Maui Gold pineapples for me to bring you. We can live off it for weeks! It’s so good.
God, I hope I don’t start missing you over pineapples after I’ve shared them with you. I’m joking, I’m joking. I know it’s hard, but try to have fun without me. Ha ha. I’ll see you in a week.
Forever yours (from paradise),
Frederick
CHAPTER NINE
Anne pulled over to the nearest curb because she couldn’t see the road through her tears. She’d left after a quick goodbye before she ugly cried in front of everyone. She couldn’t take attention away from the people who were hurting the most, so she’d driven away from the fire station with tears gathering inside her like an impending storm.
Alone in her car, she let the storm loose.Oh, Frederick.She saw through him—she knew him too well not to see—his conflict, his vulnerability, his pain. He tried to bear it all on his own even as he buckled under its weight, away from the very people who could offer him solace. He wanted to shield his team from his grief.
A sob escaped her throat as she remembered him hunched over the kitchen sink, shoulders tight with sorrow. When she went to him, he didn’t want her comfort. He didn’t want toneedher comfort. But she had no choice but to offer it to him. She couldn’t watch him suffer on his own.
Would he hate her again when his sorrow faded? When he could think and breathe normally once more? Probably. But she had no regrets about tonight. She hadn’t been seeking something for herself like forgiveness or reconciliation. Of course she wanted those things, but tonight, she’d only wanted to take away his hurt.
As her tears slowed to a trickle, she smiled. She was happy she was able to comfort him… and feed him shrimp tacos.
It didn’tbeginto make up for the pain she’d caused him, but it was something. She would spend the rest of her life making it up to him, if only he would give her a reason. She’d hidden from her true feelings because it was exhausting to hope when all hope was lost.
But Frederick had opened up to her today. Even though it was out of despair, he’d leaned on her. Hope might not be lost, notallof it. If she scrounged up every ounce of her courage to fight for him, they might be able to find their way back to each other.
Anne dried her cheeks with the back of her hand and eased her car back on the road, the smile still on her face. But two blocks later, she forgot what she’d been smiling about. Either she wasn’t watching the road carefully, or it was too dark for her to see clearly, because there was an ominous crunch beneath her tire, followed immediately by a death hiss.
“Oh no.” Biting her lip, she maneuvered her car off the road.
Even after she managed to park, she made no move to get out of the car. It had to be a flat tire, but if she didn’t confirm it with her own eyes, then she could pretend it wasn’t true. Anne dropped her forehead against the steering wheel with a long, weary groan. She probably should’ve learned how to change a flat tire. It was too late for regrets, though.
When she couldn’t hide from her problem any longer without being ridiculous, she dragged herself out of the car. And after staring morosely at the misshapen tire for a good minute, she finally capitulated. “I definitely have a flat.”
Anne was on a smallish street with a convenience store on one side and some apartment buildings on the other. The road wasn’t terribly busy for a Friday evening, but there was enough traffic to save her from feeling too isolated.
Huffing a sigh, she got back into the driver’s seat and rummaged around her purse for her phone. She toyed with the idea of watching a YouTube tutorial on how to change a tire so she wouldn’t have to bother anyone. But honestly, she didn’t have it in her to figure out how to change a tire, alone in an unfamiliar neighborhood. She was emotionally exhausted from the ups and downs of the evening.
Anne:
Hey, Coraline. Do you happen to know how to change a flat tire?
Coraline:
What? You have a flat tire? But you just left.
Anne:
I know. I didn’t get very far.
Coraline:
Send me your location.
She sent her cousin her location. It would be good for someone to know her whereabouts tonight. After a few seconds, Coraline’s bubble popped up again.
Coraline:
