A deep sigh resonated inside him as though a long-held breath had been released, and a painful constriction in his chest eased. Hehadn’t even known the pain existed until it was gone. The next breath he took felt as if it was the first full breath he’d taken in years.
Seth ripped out pages after pages of finished sketches until they nearly covered the entire bed, and still he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want this to end. His yearning for Tara hadn’t diminished since she was the subject of every one of his drawings, and he felt somehow connected to her.
The sketches were a reimagination of the photos he’d taken of her. In one drawing, a side of her face filled the page with the surrounding beauty reflected in the iris of her eye. In another, she was but a wisp of wind on the hills, an apparition on the verge of appearing or disappearing. Once a sketch was melded with one of the actual photos, he would have a finished piece. Then an image that existed only in his mind—which mirrored his thoughts, dreams, and hopes—could be shared with the world.
His hand stilled. What was he doing? He’d vowed never to make himself vulnerable again—bearing his heart and soul for people to stomp on—because his heart wasn’t strong enough to be shattered a second time. But his art still hummed its alluring melody in his veins. After being silenced for so long, it demanded to be heard. And Tara… she could never be pushed aside. She had been ever present in his mind since the wedding.
He was scared shitless. The foundation he’d built his adult life on was being throttled, and his head was shaking from the force of it. Art and love were a part of his past, but so was his heartbreak. Was he going to allow something that happened years ago to continue impacting his life? His future?
I don’t know.
Seth gathered the sketches on the bed and hid them away in thenightstand with hands that shook again. He couldn’t look at them anymore. Look at her anymore. He lay down with his arm thrown over his eyes. He didn’t expect sleep to come, but sweet oblivion overtook his turmoil with dawn just peeking over the mountains.
He woke up a few hours later in a foul mood with bleary eyes and the first thrums of a headache. His sketching fever felt like a dream, but his cowardice felt unbearably real. But being a coward, he didn’t want to figure outwhyhe was being so cowardly, so he shoved his messy thoughts into a dusty corner of his mind. After a quick shower, Seth headed out for Weldon. He wasn’t enjoying his company very much, and would rather be buried in the bustle of strangers.
Pancake Hut was busting at the seams as usual, and the sight lifted his spirits. A tall stack of hot, fluffy pancakes would be a great way to turn around his morning. Simple and satisfying. The way his life had been before the dating dare. Now a prickling sense of dissatisfaction shadowed his day unless Tara was with him.This has to stop. He had less than two weeks left to start a new chapter in his life. All this disquiet, yearning, and soul-searching wasn’t going to do him any good. His path was set. His time in Weldon was only a layover.
Seth got himself on the waiting list, and went out to stand on the sidewalk with the long line of hungry customers. Everything moved a little slower in Weldon, but he was starting to like it that way. He walked with his head down toward the end of the line when a familiar voice said, “Hey, Seth.”
He stopped a second too late and had to backtrack a couple steps. It was Jack, Alex, and… Tara.Shit. It took superhero strengths to keep his eyes from devouring Tara. The woman he’d been thinking and dreaming of all night. He still felt exposed and vulnerable afterhis remarkable night, and he wasn’t sure how well he would be able to hide his feelings for Tara from her older brothers.
“Good to see you guys. How are you doing?” Seth shook hands with Jack and Alex, and gave Tara a jerky nod in his best attempt to be casual.
“Jack and I are doing swell, but our baby sister is in a black mood,” Alex said over Tara’s muffled moan. She had her face buried in her hands. It was difficult to make out, but she seemed to be mutteringkill me nowon repeat. “So we brought her here to cheer her up, and make Scary Tara go far, far away.”
“Thanks for that, Alex,” Tara said with a touch of acid, and took a peek at Seth through her fingers. With a defeated sigh, she lifted her head and met his eyes, looking adorably flustered. “So what brings you here?”
“Pancakes,” Seth said with a smile that soon disappeared at Tara’s not-so-amused glare. “I needed a pick-me-up as well.”
“Don’t let her scare you.” Jack placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. “She’ll be all better after pancakes. A full Tara is a happy Tara.”
“Why don’t you join us?” Alex said, waving him closer.
“I don’t want to cut in line.” Weak excuse. But he couldn’t figure out how to act normal in this situation.
Tara coughed to cover her snort. She seemed to find his discomfort amusing despite her black mood. Why was she in a bad mood? He would ask her later. For now, he was glad he could make her laugh at his expense.
“You’re joining our party of three, so you’ll just be taking our empty fourth seat,” Jack reassured him. “No harm done.”
Seth shot her a panicked glance and she lifted her shoulder in theworld’s subtlest shrug. Her faintly amused expression told him she was resigned to the awkward breakfast.
“In that case, I’d be happy to have the company,” Seth said, joining their huddle.
They were seated within thirty minutes in a cozy booth, and oversized laminated menus with way too many options were handed to them. Seth already knew what he wanted, and the Park siblings seemed to have the menu memorized, so the orders were taken quickly.
“So you guys are working together on Landon’s website?” Jack asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Yeah, we’ve made a lot of progress,” Seth responded, then realized Tara would have no excuse to see him without suspicion if the website was finished. “But there are still some details to tweak.”
“Those little things are the time-consuming ones,” Tara chimed in, nodding repeatedly for emphasis.
“Well, you better hurry and finish that,” Alex said, accepting his skillet-sized western omelet from the server with a wide grin. “You’re leaving for Paris at the end of next week, right?”
“Right.” Seth choked on his answer so he repeated himself. “Right.”
He and Tara never talked about it. About his leaving. Without meaning to, he had been avoiding the topic entirely. But she never brought it up either. Was she planning to wave him off when the time came? Sudden frustration clogged his chest. No mess, no fuss. Why did she want that so badly? Did her relationship with her ex still hold so much power over her?
Seth caught his rising anger and relaxed his clenched jaws. What was his problem? No mess, no fuss was exactly what he wanted, too.Liar. His conscience was exhausting him this morning. Despite thetall piping-hot stack of pancakes in front of him, his hunger deserted him.
