He stepped to her side and moved as though he were about to wrap his arm around her. She stiffened and pulled away.
“Don’t,” she said with a burst of fury. “You do not get to touch me.”
Landon cringed at her vehement words, but he dropped his arms and took a step away with sorrow swimming in his dark eyes. “After you.”
The warmth of the house welcomed them as they steppedinside, and she allowed Landon to take her coat. He was so careful not to touch her that she hurt a little for him.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He wouldn’t quite meet her eyes as he led her to a cozy living room with a fire gently burning in the fireplace. In the brightness of the room, Aubrey finally noticed how thin and gaunt Landon had become. He still appeared strong and broad, but his clothes hung loosely, his jawline was too sharp, and his cheeks had a sunken look to them. She could tell he’d shaved recently, but his overgrown hair curled at his collar, and there were dark shadows under his weary eyes. Landon looked sad and starkly beautiful as though he’d walked through hell to stand in front of her.
He offered her a deep, upholstered armchair, and she shook her head and chose a firm love seat instead. A deep, relieved sigh escaped her as she settled her tired body into it. Landon’s gaze sharpened at the sound, but he didn’t hover or fuss. He took an armchair close by her and sat forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.
“You found out about the baby,” Aubrey said when Landon sat silently.
“Yes,” he said huskily.
“Is that why I’m here?”
“Yes and no.”
“Are we playing twenty questions? If I recall, you were the one who wanted to see me.”
“And you didn’t? Want to see me?” His softly spoken words twisted like a dagger in her heart, and his desperate, searching eyes clogged her throat with pain and resentment.
What could he possibly expect me to say?Fuck him.Fuck him for breaking my heart. Fuck him for putting me through this.
“I’m not going to apologize for not telling you about thebaby. If you’d let me explain what was in the bottle, you would’ve known months ago. But you made it clear that I was nothing more than a passing fling to you. There was no way I was letting you treat my baby like you treated me. You will not hide her in the shadows. She will never be your shameful secret. She is my heart, my blood, and she will be loved, cherished, and raised up high for the world to see.”
“Please, Aubrey. I never meant… God, I’m so sorry. Please listen.”
“I don’t want your excuses or apologies.” Suddenly, she felt depleted, and exhaustion rose in a wave to drown her. “I want closure. I need to move on. Whatever was between us is in the past.”
“Nothing,” he said brokenly. “Nothingis in thepastfor me, because I know in my heart we aren’t finished. This is all about now and the future. Our future. That’s why I asked you to come.”
“Our future?” Aubrey blinked, her heart pounding in her ears. She shook her head. “Landon, there is no future for us. I’m not going to be your mistress.”
He seemed to fall apart before her eyes. He dragged his hands down the sides of his face, his mouth gaping. She saw his bleeding, tortured soul. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, and desperation contorted every inch of his face.
“I love you, Aubrey. Being with you means more than my fucking reputation or my career. I love you, and I want forever with you.”
“No, you don’t.” It felt as though her blood drained from the tips of her fingers, and her body became a heavy, hollow shell. “You don’t love me. You can’t. A part of me died that day.”
“I know I hurt you, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”
“No, you don’t understand. It killed me to leave you evenafter everything you’d said. I loved you so much, I died a little watching you hurt. Do you understand? You couldn’t have done what you did to me if you’d loved me even a little.”
“I was afraid. I was so afraid.” Landon stumbled out of his chair and knelt at her feet. “I was a coward. I ran from everything that mattered to me when my dad abandoned us. Loving you meant I could disappoint and fail you like my father failed his family. I thought I was so much like him. I was terrified of fucking up and losing you.”
What?A spark of hope lit and flickered in her soul.But how can I trust him?
“Then how?” she asked despite herself. “Why?”
“I thought if I pushed you away, then I would still be able to salvage what pathetic life I had left and protect you and your career. But it was already too late for me. I love you, Aubrey. I’m nothing without you. I can’t… Please. God knows I don’t deserve you, but please forgive me.”
The truth of his words—the truth of his love—was painted on his pleading face. Woven into his imploring words.
