He was just…empty. Sometimes he thought if he were to peel back the outer layers of his personality and look into his mind, he’d find nothing but blank space.
“I know you’re thinking something, so just spit it out,” Bel said.
Because of that, Raum sometimes did stupid shit. He liked loud noises and crowds and parties because it distracted him from the hollow feeling. He was reckless and impulsive because the rush gave him a little burst of exhilaration. Every time he stole something, he felt alive for a split second before it faded back to nothingness, leaving him empty and wanting more.
And sometimes, he liked to poke the bear a little bit.
“You’ve been uptight lately,” he told Bel. The mother of all gross understatements.
Bel’s eyebrows climbed his forehead like he couldn’t believe Raum had the audacity, which was fair. Raum had just told Ash off for provoking Bel, and now he was doing it himself. Again: sometimes he did stupid shit.
“Your point?”
Raum tilted his head. “When was the last time you went into a full-on rage?”
Bel pinned him with the scariest glare known to man. But, to Raum’s surprise, he actually responded. “Few months.”
Raum’s brows rose. “That might be a record.”
Silence.
“Have you ever considered giving in to it? Maybe letting the rage out is good and holding it in isn’t.”
Bel’s hands balled into fists, and Raum knew he’d finally crossed the line. But he wondered if he was on to something. Maybe the key to mastering the anger wasn’t fighting it but expelling it.
But that meant controlling it. And Bel had never been able to do that.
While Belial continued to pin him with a flaming death glare, Raum slipped off the stool and headed toward the door. “I’m going for a run.” Faust scurried after him to escape the fury emanating from the kitchen.
Just as they stepped into the hallway outside, a plate smashed against the wall, right where he’d been standing.
Raum closed the door quickly, and he and Faust hauled ass to the elevator. They didn’t relax until the doors slid closed and the lift started to descend.
He blew out a breath. “Jesus.”
He’d been denied his espresso quota, had to watch Meph and Iris make out and listen to his brothers bicker, and had a plate thrown at his head. All before nine o’clock.
Today sucked.
2
Sly Dog
Raum and Faust walked side by side down the block, dodging pedestrians easily since no one wanted to get too close to Faust.
The hellhound puppy was still small enough that he didn’t have to shift to go in public, but he was still a big black dog with red eyes. He wouldn’t look fully hellish until he was mature, but there was still something off about him to the average human, and most people were instinctively wary.
The hound was technically Iris’s, but Raum had been spending time with him over the last couple weeks since he had the most success with his training. Faust was growing quickly, and he needed discipline to blend in on Earth.
Once they turned off the main drag and there were less people on the sidewalks, Raum took up a jog, and Faust fell into a trot beside him. Raum never put a leash on him when they ran together. He knew Faust wouldn’t take off, and he didn’t give a fuck about dog-owner laws or scaring people. Humans could suck it.
They ran until Raum’s body was warm and his blood was pumping, the bite in the air no longer cold against his heated skin. Eventually, they reached Faust’s favorite park, and he slowed to a walk as they stepped onto the muddy brown grass.
In the last week, the temperatures had risen, and the snow was finally melting. Patches of ice still persevered in the shadows and at the bases of the trees, but the air was fresh with the scent of early spring.
Faust took off to sniff and piss on every tree, and Raum walked without caring where he was going. He tipped his head back and watched the sparrows in the trees.
He liked sparrows. They were cute and tiny, but they were badass. They beat up weaker birds who got in their way. Their little cheeps were his favorite sound in the morning when he had coffee on the balcony. Without them, all he’d hear would be the traffic.
