“It means, even if you hadn’t agreed to the bargain, I wouldn’t have turned you and your brothers in. It means…I lied.”
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed to sit beside him, propped her elbows on her knees, and buried her face in her hands. She was done fighting this particular battle. She’d never had the stomach for it anyway.
“You called me a liar, and you’re right.”
“I didn’t—”
“Whatever. The point is, there’s a reason I watched you for so long before I orchestrated our meeting. A reason beyond what I told you.”
“What reason.”
“The first night I saw you, you were at a jazz club with Daniel, and Eva and Asmodeus were performing. I hid in the corner at the back and watched you. Once I realized you were demons, I couldn’t fathom what Daniel would be doing in your company. But…Daniel is my friend. He has been for a very long time. I knew I should have gone straight to my superiors and reported what I saw, but I couldn’t. I felt like I owed it to Daniel to figure out what was going on. So I stayed, and I watched.
“It didn’t take me long to realize Daniel had a daughter and that she was in love with a demon. And what’s more, the demon loved her back. It was obvious. I have seen love, and there was no faking the look in his eyes. I wanted to know more. I wanted to understand.
“I soon realized that none of you acted like demons. You were just…living your lives. Meph truly loves the witch, Iris, and Mist feels the same for Lily. And Belial… I couldn’t believe it was even him at first.” She shook her head. “The great King of Hell just wants to cook. I’d never… I didn’t even know such a thing was possible for a demon, and certainly not for him.”
She lifted her head and stared into the dying flames, thinking that the little sparks reminded her of Raum’s eyes. “And then there was you. You were even more different. Quiet and always frowning.” She smiled a little. “I watched you the most.”
“Why?”
She wasn’t going to answer that. It wasn’t necessary to make him understand, and it was far too exposing. “And then Adriel, my mentor and a powerful Second Sphere angel, summoned me and gave me my task. Retrieve the grimoire and I would reascend to my former rank.”
“Reascend?”
“I was demoted a long time ago for a transgression. I used to be one of the Principalities, but I was given the role of guardian angel to serve penance. But Adriel told me that if I could retrieve that grimoire, my former position would be mine again. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. I was never cut out for guardian work. I am a commander, a leader. Ineedto succeed at this task.”
“So you saw an opportunity to use me to get what you needed.”
She nodded. “When I found out the grimoire had been taken to Hell, I…” She hesitated, not wanting to explain why she was so averse to entering the underworld on her own. “I knew I needed help, and I— Given your history…”
“You figured I’d be your best bet to help you steal shit.”
She nodded. His voice was hard, too hard. She couldn’t bear to look at him.
“So you lied and tricked me into this bargain so I would steal the book for you. Because you knew I would act to protect my brothers. You used my vulnerabilities against me.”
She nodded again. She couldn’t deny it.
Silence.
She could just imagine how furious he was. “I’m sorry, Raum. I know it’s no excuse, but I— I can’t explain how important this is to me. Nothing has ever mattered more, and—”
“I get it.” He stood suddenly, and she forced herself to look up into his gaze. There was nothing there to read; he masked his thoughts perfectly. “I would have done the same thing.”
She swallowed.
“I don’t know why you’d even apologize. I’m just a demon, and angels have always used whatever they needed to maintain the advantage. Why should you be any different?”
“Raum…”
“If it makes you feel better, I was trying to figure out a way to kill you and take the book for myself.”
Her heart skipped a beat. It stung hearing him say that, but she didn’t blame him. They were enemies, and she had manipulated him and threatened his family. Of course he would do whatever it took to protect them.
He turned away, grabbing his shirt off the table where he’d left it. “You know, suddenly, I’m not tired anymore. You can have the bed. I’ll be outside.”
“I don’t want—”
