“I’m so sorry, Raum,” Sunshine whispered, feeling sick to her stomach. “All of this is my fault.”
“It’s not your fault.” He looked at Raphael. In half demon form, he stood a full head taller than the archangel. His black-feathered wings were folded so as not to hit the edge of the sigil, and the scales on his bare torso glimmered in the heavenfire’s light. “This has nothing to do with her or Eva. Let them go.”
“On the contrary, it has everything to do with them.” Raphael started slowly pacing around the heavenfire sigil on the floor, the blue glow casting long shadows across his face. “As you seem to have remembered, you and Shamsiel have known each other a long time. Your corruption of her began centuries ago.
“For many years, she kept it secret, but eventually I became suspicious. Where was the mysterious Shamsiel always disappearing to? She was the celebrated one, influential on the Tribunal, privileged to have one of the great Second Sphere Powers as a mentor. Everyone was blinded by her flawless reputation…except for me.”
His white wings flared wide as he shot Sunshine a look of contempt she’d never seen on his face before. As if he’d been hiding his loathing all this time, bottling it up inside.
He thoughtshewas the one with power and privilege? Had he not looked at himself? That was exactly how she’d always viewed him, but she at least was intelligent enough not to hate him for it.
“When I finally uncovered the truth, I was appalled. I brought the information to the Tribunal, and a debate ensued on how to address the problem. As far as I knew, it was unlike anything ever seen before in Heaven. An angel, and a powerful one at that, debasing herself by fornicating with a demon. It was abhorrent.” The look of disgust on his face was intensified by the flickering blue light and dark shadows.
“The Tribunal thought Shamsiel should be banished from Heaven. An angel who consorts with demons could not be allowed to represent the Realm. As for the demon, since he’d technically broken no rules, it wasn’t possible to order his destruction. But he couldn’t be left to spread the news of Shamsiel’s improprieties.
“It was Adriel who offered a compromise in the end. He believed you didn’t deserve to fall, and he somehow managed to convince the Tribunal of that as well.” Raphael shook his head like it was incomprehensible to him.
“The Tribunal ordered me to erase the demon’s memories, and Adriel agreed to rearrange Shamsiel’s to remove all recollection of the affair. She was demoted to guardian angel with a chance to regain her former station only if she could one day prove her worthiness.”
“Wait—” Sunshine stared at him in horror. “You’re saying my punishment was never about my capture like I was told. It was always about my relationship with Raum.”
“The capture wasn’t your fault, of course,” Raphael said, flicking his fingers dismissively. “But we had to give you an explanation you’d believe.”
A spark of rage ignited inside her, rising so fast she nearly choked on it.
She’d been manipulated into thinking she had failed. She’d been manipulated into feeling guilty for beingtortured. She didn’t know if she was madder at the Tribunal or at herself for believing their lies.
But no. She had been conditioned—brainwashed—by those she had trusted. The blame lay only with them. She was done admonishing herself for things that had never been her fault. She was done shouldering burdens that never should’ve been hers to begin with.
Raphael went on. “When I heard that Adriel’s task was the final test before your reascension, naturally, I was dubious. I’m grateful now I followed my instincts, or the Tribunal might never have known they were welcoming a traitor back into their midst.”
The Tribunal, Raphael, Adriel—everyone she’d ever known and cared about had been content to look her in the eye and pretend like her past never happened. They’d been content to lie to her face. Forfour centuries.
Who had committed the real crime here?
“Was the gracious decision to fuck with Sunshine’s memories made before or after you left her to suffer in Hell?” Raum’s glare burned with hatred.
“If Shamsiel had not become accustomed to consorting with demons, she wouldn’t have lowered her guard enough to be captured. Her punishment was discussed while she was missing, and once the Grigori Daniel returned her, it was carried out.”
Sunshine’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.
Whileshe was missing?
“What the fuck?” Eva breathed.
Deep within Sunshine, something cracked.
Mercy, forgiveness, compassion… It all started to leak out through the fracture. The sunshine fizzled out, and a dark tempest took its place. Fury bubbled up like a wrathful volcano.
How dare they.How dare they sit upon their Tribunal seats and dispense decrees without an ounce of empathy for those they condemned. How dare they ruin her life and the life of the one she loved.
And Raphael… He might have had white wings and a robe, but he was no better than a demon. Nay, he wasworse. A demon started out evil and could become something better. Raphael had started as an angel, a being of light meant to represent goodness, and he had devolved into something vile.
Worse, he would never understand how twisted he was. He would always believe that, simply because of who he was, he was in the right. His wickedness was justified.
There would be no reasoning with him. There would be no understanding or reconciliation.
Sunshine didn’t care anymore. She was beyond wanting those things.
