“Angels of the highest Sphere. The same ones who made rules that say I cannot slaughter humans at my leisure.”
She winced. “Okay, so, some rules are definitely worth following. But that doesn’t mean all of them are. And it’s smart to look objectively and decide for yourself which ones are beneficial and which aren’t. I don’t see how us being together is hurting anyone. I don’t see how it can be your fault that I’m in danger.IfI’m in danger. I still think that’s—”
“It is my fault because Paimon summoned me, and I ignored her. And when I finally returned, I lied about where I’d been. I broke the rules and lied about it. And then, when I was to be punished, I escaped and broke the rules again. And now you’re in danger. But if I hadn’t left—”
“You’d be in some pit of monsters getting eaten!” She threw up her hands. “That’s ridiculous! Why would you ever subject yourself to that?”
“Because the alternative is much worse,” he growled, his tail whipping furiously. “And what does it matter if I am eaten? Who is there really to care? So Hell has one less slave. It’s no great loss.”
Her mouth fell open. “How can you talk about yourself like that? That’s—” Her eyes stung. “Iwould care if you were gone. I would miss you. I would—”
“You would be happier if you had never met me.”
“That’s not true.”
“You cannot convince me otherwise. Even now, the summoning marks burn.” He scraped his claws against the mark on his neck as if trying to tear it from his skin. “There’s little time remaining before I’m compelled to return. If I do not, I will lose my mind from it. If I do not respond even then, the hellfire will start. Gone forever.” His lips twisted. “I had planned to let it happen before. Now, I don’t know what to do.”
“Mist.” Her palm covered her mouth. The brand wouldkillhim if he didn’t respond? And he had planned to let it? “How long?”
He looked away. “Days.”
“How many days?”
His gaze shifted away, and his wings flexed outward and then folded again. “Maybe one week.”
Onlyoneweek? Her heart started to pound. “Mist, that’s…”
He glanced at her and growled. “Don’t look at me with pity.”
“It’s not pity. It’s—” She struggled to find a way to describe her emotions. “Mist, I care about you. When you talk about dying or about being worthless, it hurts me. You have so much worth to me, and I— I already know what it’s like to lose people I care about, and I don’t want to lose anyone else.”
“You shouldn’t care.”
“You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“I am not free.” His voice was quieter, the snarl gone. “I never was. This was always just… temporary.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Yes, it does. I always knew I would have to return to Hell or die. I tried to convince myself that I could escape, but in truth, I always knew my time was short.”
Her chest burned, and her throat felt tight. “So you just thought you’d bring me along for the ride and drop me when it was time to go back? Or worse, get involved with me, come into my life, and then force me to watch you die?”
He looked away. “I would leave. You wouldn’t have known.”
She hadn’t expected hearing that could hurt so badly, but it did. It hurt so bad, it was hard to breathe. “So I was just something to be discarded when you were ready to throw in the towel and give up on life.”
He stared pointedly at the wall, saying nothing, but a muscle flexed in his temple.
“Well, that’s great!” she snapped. “Thanks a bloody lot. I wish you’d told me that before I went to all the trouble of falling—”
“What else can I offer you?” His head swung back around. “There is no way to remove the brands. I have no choice.”
“Have you even tried? You’re so ready to give up—”
“I’ve been trying for thousands of years!” His voice boomed around the kitchen. “If I hadn’t, I would have let myself die millennia ago! Hoping for freedom is the only thing that has given my life purpose. That and hunting.” His lip curled. “Hunting demons and damned souls and dragging them back to Hell. Watching them beg for mercy as I throw them at my mistress’s feet. Knowing they will receive none. Knowing I am responsible for their agony.”
Her breaths shook. Her heart pounded.
