The thought that she might have some control over her own destiny was so startling that she very nearly forgot about the tender touch of Mitch’s fingers against her cheek. Except the tingling reminded her. As did the ache in her breasts and the strong pulsing low in her stomach. Was this passion? The need to be very close to a specific man. The desire for him to hold her close and touch all of her, to teach her about lovemaking and let her explore him? Because if that was wanting, then she wanted Mitch very much. She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life.
‘‘It’s crazy,’’ she whispered, telling herself that she was nearly thirty and she’d been a virgin plenty long enough.
He cupped her face. She saw him swallow and felt the fire leap from him. It circled her body, then ignited more flames within her body. She trembled and felt an answering shudder from him.
‘‘I want you so bad, I can’t figure out if I’m in heaven or hell,’’ he told her. ‘‘But you’re not an ordinary woman.’’
When she would have spoken, he touched a finger to her mouth. ‘‘I’m not just talking about the whole princess thing,’’ he said. ‘‘You’re very special. We haven’t gone into details about our past love lives, but I suspect you’ve been real particular about who you’ve let in your bed.’’ His brown eyes darkened. ‘‘I respect that, Alex. I respect you.’’
The realization that they might actually do this… this…act together sent more heat flooding her. It also unleashed an entire herd of nerves. She couldn’t, could she? What if he figured out she was a virgin? Here Mitch was telling her that he would respect her in the morning, but that was based on his assumption that she’d been with other men. Or at least one other man. Thank goodness he didn’t consider her wildly experienced. Oh, why hadn’t she asked her mother more questions about sex? Make that any questions. Alex suddenly remembered she didn’t know much more than she’d read or that she and her sisters had speculated about years before when they’d all been innocent teenagers. For all she knew each of her sisters kept a stable of lovers and she was the only ignorant one in the bunch.
‘‘You’re awfully quiet,’’ he said. ‘‘Having a change of heart?’’
He kept his tone light, but she read the tension in his body. She knew Mitch well enough to believe that if she said she didn’t want to go through with this, he would understand completely. He would never pressure her or say anything unkind. But what about after? What if he figured out about her lack of experience? Would he think less of her?
‘‘I’m just thinking,’’ she told him. ‘‘I’m not having second thoughts, at least not in the way you’re thinking. I’m less worried about your respect than our friendship. Will we still be friends in the morning?’’
He laughed. ‘‘Darlin’, if it’s as good as I think it’s going to be between us, I might want to be your lapdog more than your friend, but yes, we’ll still be fine.’’
‘‘Prove it,’’ she said.
‘‘What? How?’’
She thought quickly. Whatever happened between them tonight, she didn’t want to lose Mitch. He treated her like a regular person and liked her for her. In her world, that was a special gift she intended to keep as long as possible.
‘‘Come with me on Saturday.’’
His gaze narrowed. ‘‘Where are you going?’’
‘‘Los Angeles. I have to attend a charity fund-raiser for a cancer hospital.’’ She started speaking more quickly. ‘‘I’m only asking you to go with me. You wouldn’t have to say anything or even talk to anyone if you didn’t want to.’’
He dropped his hands to his lap. ‘‘Let me see if I have this straight. You want me to come with you to some fancy-pants shindig this Saturday. You want me to face reporters and those rich city folk, not to mention a plane ride, all so that you’ll know that whatever happens between us tonight, we’re still friends?’’
She lowered her gaze. When he said it like that, she didn’t know how to respond. ‘‘I see your point,’’ she murmured. ‘‘I didn’t mean to make such a big deal about it. I just…’’ She’d just wanted the fantasy, she realized. She’d wanted her handsome lover at her side on Saturday. She’d wanted to show him off and know that he was nearby. Selfishly she’d wanted someone to lean on. She who had never wanted to lean on anyone before.
She didn’t just like and trust Mitch, Alex thought. She needed him. Somehow he’d become important to her, more important than she’d known until that very moment.
‘‘Alex? Look at me.’’
Slowly she raised her head until she stared at his face. He leaned forward and kissed her. ‘‘Yes, I’ll come to the fund-raiser.’’
She wasn’t sure which had caught her attention more, his announcement or the hard, hot pressure of his mouth against hers. ‘‘You will?’’
‘‘Of course. I want to be with you, to spend time with you. If promising you this relaxes you, then I’m happy to do it. I’ll do it even if you don’t want to make love, although I’ll probably be more grumpy.’’ He stood up and pulled her to her feet. ‘‘I’ll smile for the reporters, I’ll make polite conversation with the society crowd, I’ll even dance.’’
He drew her close and took her in his arms, then demonstrated with a couple of steps. ‘‘Are you impressed?’’
Her heart thundered inside her chest, and she thought her knees were going to fail her. ‘‘More than you know.’’
‘‘I care about you,’’ he said, wrapping his arms around her waist. ‘‘You’re my favorite princess in the whole world.’’
She laughed. ‘‘I’m the only princess you know.’’
He winked. ‘‘That will be our little secret.’’ He stepped back and held out his hand. ‘‘Join me?’’
He was nothing that she’d expected in her life, but then the best things were often those found when people weren’t looking. She’d thought her first experience with a man would be different, as well. But as she stepped toward him and placed her fingers on his palm, she knew that no other moment would ever feel so incredibly right.
‘‘I’m scared,’’ she said as he led her down the hall.
