“But you’re going to say it anyway,” he told her.
She nodded. “It’s not that bad. I won’t pretend people wouldn’t notice, but you’re seeing yourself in a far more harsh light than the rest of the world.”
They were talking about his scars. Stone resisted the urge to reach up and touch them. Tonight he didn’t want to remember that he was physically a beast. He wanted to be a regular man out with an attractive woman.
“You don’t know what it’s like,” he said at last when it became obvious she was waiting for him to respond.
“I can imagine.” Her soft hair swung against her face as she tilted her head. “I spent much of my life hiding away because I was afraid of what other people would think. At first I was worried because of my mother, but later it was just about me. Look at our relationship—how we met. Six months ago, it would never have occurred to me that you would be interested in me as a person just as I was. I felt the need to create a whole false world so that you would think I was interesting and had value. I’m not saying I’m completely over those fears, but I’ve come a long way.”
She had. Eventually she would no longer need him, he thought sadly. Then she would leave. Better for both of them. Even if he wanted to make it more, he could never give her what she needed. He didn’t know how. In time she would see that. She would find someone who could give back as much as she gave, someone who would welcome and admire her generous spirit.
“Let it go, Cathy. You can’t change me.”
She nodded. “I’ll do as you ask because it’s my birthday and we’re celebrating. But don’t think I’m going to forget and not mention it again.” She smiled. “Your luck just isn’t that good.”
“Oh, I think it’s pretty great. After all, you’re the one going to that meeting tomorrow instead of me.”
She groaned. “Don’t remind me. I’ve been trying not to think about it all week. I can’t believe I let you talk me into that.”
“I didn’t talk you into it. Attending meetings on my behalf falls under the category of your job description.” She grimaced. “You’ll be sorry.”
“No, you’ll be brilliant.”
She raised her glass. “To brilliance. Or at least not putting my foot in my mouth.”
He touched his glass to hers and took a sip. Tomorrow there was a quarterly review at his office. In addition to his attending via speakerphone, Stone wanted Cathy physically at the meeting. She’d never been to his offices, and it was time she established her presence there. She’d come up with several good ideas of her own, and he wanted her to present them. His team needed a little shaking up, and she was just the woman to do it.
The song ended and another one began. A slow instrumental that made him long to hold her. Before he realized what he was doing, he was half on his feet, and asking, “May I have this dance?”
Cathy was too stunned to verbally accept. Instead, she let Stone pull her to her feet. Her body trembled as he took her into his arms. She told herself not to get too carried away by the moment, but it was far too late for those kinds of warnings. If she hadn’t already fallen in love with Stone, tonight had sealed her fate.
Star-crossed lovers, she thought dreamily as he pulled her close. She closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his shoulder. He was warm, his body hard against her curves. They felt right this way, although she doubted that he would ever see it. He confused her. Sometimes she thought the distance between them was because of how he saw her and their relationship. Sometimes, though, she wondered if it was about the scars.
She supposed there was no way to ever find out. In the meantime, she would enjoy the good times as they occurred and try not to think about the future.
They circled the room, moving in time with the music. Stone didn’t say anything; he just held her tenderly. If only it could be like this forever. Just them, the night and the song.
Loving him had been inevitable, she thought. First, on the phone they’d had a fantasy relationship. She wouldn’t have thought anything could be better than that. But she’d been wrong. Life with him was even better. He was a wounded warrior, a man who thought of himself as a beast, and she was his only link to the world. How was she supposed to resist that?
She raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck. He placed his around her waist. They pressed tightly against each other. She could feel the beating of his heart, and against her belly, the hard proof that he wanted her.
Fierce gladness filled her. She needed to know that. It was just physical; it didn’t necessarilymeananything more than a natural reaction to their close proximity, but it was more than she’d ever had before.
Slowly, carefully, knowing he might pull back and destroy her with a few words, she pressed her lips to the side of his neck.
His breath caught in an audible gasp. Every part of him stiffened, including the hard ridge of his desire. His arousal flexed against her. Stone swore under his breath. He turned his head toward her, but before they could kiss, Art appeared with their salads.
Reluctantly they drew apart and returned to the table. Over the mundane issues of what dressing and did they want ground pepper, the mood shifted from passionate to friendly. When their server left, they talked about work and the books they were reading.
Cathy finally understood what was going on. In that moment when she’d felt his reaction to her light kiss, everything had become clear. Stone was first and foremost a man. He might think he was a monster and might still be in mourning for his late wife, but he had physical needs. For reasons Cathy didn’t understand but that made her very happy, he wanted her in his bed.
She also knew he would never make a move toward her. Not only was she living in his home, but she also worked for him. He would never allow himself to take advantage of the situation. He wouldn’t come to her, but she could go to him…if she was willing to put it all on the line.
She broke a roll in half and took a bite. That was really what it came down to, wasn’t it? Was she willing to take the chance? Would she walk into the situation with her eyes open, fully realizing he was only interested in a temporary affair. It would never be more, no matter how long it lasted. In the end, she would lose him.
There was no point in asking the questions. Of course it was worth it. She was tired of not knowing, of hiding from life. She wanted more. She wanted to live. She wanted Stone to be her first time.
She gazed at him. Not tonight, she thought. She needed to think some things through, to be prepared. But soon.
