Jake drummed his fingertips on the bench for a little bit, then turned his gaze up toward the corrugated metal ceiling of the deck. When he spoke, it was soft, barely audible in spite of them being right next to each other. “I’d like that. But is that realistic? Are we just having puppy love that we’re going to get over? And even if it’s real, what’s the real-life side of everything?” He turned his head so he was looking Quinn straight on, and that’s when Quinn saw the glisten in his eyes. No tears falling, but certainly wetness. “I liked being young and playful with you. I want to do it more. Plus the other stuff, like the bathtub. But we live halfway across the country from each other. I’m on the road for who knows how long with this show. Especially if it gets renewed, since it looks like we didn’t implode.”
“I know all that. I can still want you here, even if it doesn’t make sense.”
“But what if you get hurt again? Or what if we try a long distance thing, and it turns out that hurts you worse?” Softly, he stroked a hand across Quinn’s cheek, lingering briefly by his ear each time he pushed his fingertips back. “You’ve been through a lot. You’re raw from your grandpa dying, and this whole thing probably kicked up so much shit for you. Now you’re going to be in his house?” Jake shook his head. “You deserve a lot of things. But one of those is a guy who isn’t going to hurt you. Whether hemeans to or not.” Jake patted his cheek, then stood up. “We’re going to get the crew together to help you move stuff before we head out.”
He’s pulling away.Panic rose and Quinn opened his mouth, not even sure what was about to come out. “What if a guy is hurting me by trying to protect me?”
Jake froze, back turned to Quinn. Then his shoulders drooped. He didn’t turn around, but he did raise his voice to a normal level again. “Then that guy’s going to feel pretty crappy about hurting you. Doesn’t change the reality.” He looked over his shoulder, eyes now ringed red and damp. “Try to act like everything’s good when we go to your apartment, yeah? I’m sorry about everything. I’ll stop hurting you soon.”
He strode off and Quinn bolted after him, but stopped himself.I can’t say the right thing around him. What the fuck is wrong with me?He didn’t want to consider that maybe therewasno right thing to say.
He leaned against one of the support beams and stared at the ground, trying to control the tossing and churning in his belly. And he almost missed the voice coming up behind him. “Hey. Quinn.” It sounded like it was coming from a half mile away, not just through the back door.
But he did hear it and slowly turned. Ozzy walked up, a frown on his face. Quinn shook his head. “What’s up?”
“You were talking with Jake. I didn’t hear anything.” He spat out the second sentence as fast as he could. “I just saw you two on the deck. I was coming out to take one last look around the yard, see if anything needed adjusting or attending or whatever.” He sucked on his teeth and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his overalls. “Didn’t have to eavesdrop to figure out that maybe the conversation didn’t end ideally.”
“Bully for you.”
“I’m not here to poke the bear. I just…man, I don’t know, is there anything I can do? You’re a cool dude, and in spite of any evidence to the contrary, I care about Jake. He’s pretty attached to you, and neither of you look super happy joy-joy at the prospect of being apart.”
“Great observation.” Quinn sucked in a deep breath through his nose and blew it out his mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a dick. But I don’t think this is the sort of thing anyone’s going to be able to fix up.”
Ozzy bobbed his head side-to-side. “I don’t know. I just want to help dosomethingbefore we head off to Michigan.”
That sparked off in Quinn’s brain. “Michigan? Where in Michigan?”
“Little town down in the south part. Three Rivers?”
Quinn slipped out his phone and typed in the name, looking it up, checking the distance. A plan shoved itself together in his mind and he couldn’t help but smile. “There might be something you can do. It’s…out there.”
Chapter forty-two
Jake
The move went prettyseamlessly. Whatever technique Quinn was using to keep his emotions in check and put on a happy face, it was working. Jake made sure to find other things to occupy himself so he could avoid spending too much time in the same room as Quinn, but any time they crossed paths, he seemed genuinely comfortable and…light.I could use a shot of whatever he took.
In the house, Jake mostly served as muscle, moving things up onto the porch as the sun continued to sink lower in the sky. He didn’t go in more than absolutely necessary. With Linda and her crew, they were able to make quick work of things, and they managed to get his bigger furniture pieces set up. There was still some stuff Quinn would have to do on his own after they left—clothes, personal items, food—but other than that and the unpacking, Quinn was moved in. They closed the door on thathouse, and Jake closed to the door on Springfield and Quinn and late night crappy food gorges and sexy Epsom salt soaks.
A knock at his hotel door broke him from his funk. Healmostdidn’t get up and answer it anyway, but so close to their next trip, he couldn’t risk ignoring anyone. Could be a production member giving him some urgent update.
He got up and opened the door, and once more, Ozzy stepped over the threshold. “Just checking on you.”
“Please. Come in.”
Ozzy flopped down on the bed and looked at him. “You good? We can go get drunk if you want. Neither of us have to be, like, functional tomorrow. All getting set up kind of stuff, and that’s mostly on production. Not us.”
“You’re really kissing my butt over this whole thing, aren’t you?” Jake smiled in spite of himself, then sat down in the armchair next to the window. “You do care.”
“Of course I care you jackass.” He stretched his arms up above his head and groaned. “So are we drinking? Hotel bar is still open.”
Jake clicked his tongue a couple times, then eventually shook his head. “Drinking my problems away isn’t a great solution, I don’t think.” In spite of what he implied to Bunny earlier.
Ozzy shrugged. “Suit yourself. Be all mature and shit. Offer stands when we get to Michigan, though.” He leaned forward, hands on his knees. “Seriously, though. You going to be okay?”
“Yeah.” It didn’t feel like it at all, but if he could put any faith in his own history…he’d been okay with actual breakups for long-term relationships, eventually. “I’ll be good at some point. Not tomorrow. But some point.”
Ozzy nodded, looking him up and down. Then he groaned and rose to his feet. “Well, that’s the best I can hope for, I guess. But if you’re sure you don’t want to get drunk, I’m just going to take a leak, then get out of your hair.”
