Ronnie gives a delicate sniff and slumps back in her seat. “That cuts deep, Alexandria. Truly.”
I snort. “I’m sorry, but you’re acting crazy.”
“Crazy?” she shrieks. “The only crazy one here isyousince you have clearly lost your mind!” She snaps her mouth shut, closes her eyes, and exhales a calming breath, searching for her zen or whatever. When she meets my gaze again, she says in a much lower voice, “Seriously, what thefuck, Lex. Damian? Ignoring theseveralquestions I have, I can’t really be the only one who sees what a terrible idea this is?” She turns to Andie, who shakes her head.
“It is pretty fucked up,” she agrees.
“Also, how the hell is it even possible that Damian is Craigslist Guy?” Ronnie continues. “Are you certain this wasn’t all some stalkery master plan of his and he isn’t messing with you?Again?” Her eyes bug out, and she lets out a near-deafening gasp. “What if this is another one of his bet?—”
“It’s not like that,” I assure her. “Trust me, if it was, I would kill him myself.”
I don’t bother to mention thatIwas the one accused of being a stalker.
“How can you be so sure?” Andie asks. “He’s not the most trustworthy guy.”
I wave a dismissive hand. “You’re both giving Damian way too much credit. Aside from you two and Gina, no one else knows what’s going on with my mom, so he would have no justification or reason to think a job like that—or the money—would entice me.And,” I press on when Ronnie looks like she’s about to interrupt me, “even if he had posted the ad just in case I might see it to mess with me, that still leaves a one in twenty-five thousand chance that I would be the one to respond to it, and that’s assuming every single person in Newport actually looks at Craigslist, including babies. The math just ain’t mathin’, guys.”
Ronnie sighs, retracting her claws, then reaches across the table, gently grabbing my hand. “Regardless, it’s a weird coincidence, babe. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
I offer her a small smile and squeeze her fingers. “I know. And I love you for being so aggressively worried about me, but you don’t have to be. It’s not like I’m going toreallydate him.”
“But you’re going to have to pretend,” Andie points out. “Is that so different? Fake feelings may lead to certain real feelings resurfacing.”
I scoff. “I never had feelings for Damian. I just had a momentary lapse in judgment. Okay, two lapses,” I correct when they both shoot me the same doubtful look. “But that’s beside the point. This is a business arrangement. That’s all.”
“A ‘business arrangement,’” Ronnie echoes, hooking her fingers into air quotes. “Right.”
“It is!” I insist. “Look, it’s shocking, I know. Damian is thelastperson on the planet I would’ve expected to be Craigslist Guy, and I’m still coming to grips with it myself, but…I’m fine. It’s fine. In some ways, this is good. It’s familiar territory. I know what I’m dealing with.”
Andie frowns. “Familiarity might not be a good thing in this case.”
Ronnie bobs her head in agreement.
I huff out an exasperated breath. “Hey, let’s not forget why I answered that ad in the first place,” I remind them. “My hands are tied. I need that money, so if getting it means pretending to be that asswad’s girlfriend for nine months, then so be it. Plus, I got him to agree to fifteen instead of ten, so by the time January hits, I’ll have enough saved up to pay the deductible in fullandcover Mom’s meds.” When the cousins exchange a skeptical glance, I mutter, “Unless either of you know of anyone else offering to pay fifteen grand a month?”
Ronnie holds up her hand. “I offered. And that offer still stands. Honestly, at this point, I’m kind of offended you won’t take it.”
The bartender chooses this very awkward moment to arrive with my drink, and I mumble my appreciation as he places my third Gin Eyre of the night in front of me on a dainty little napkin embellished with the bar’s name and logo: a bunch of grapes sitting on an open book. When he tries to ask Ronnie and Andie if they want anything, they both answer before he can finish his sentence, saying, “We’re good, thanks,” at the same time, giving major twin energy for two people who aren’t even genetically related.
As soon as we’re alone again, Ronnie pushes the subject. “Seriously, why won’t you let us help you?”
My chest tightens. “You know I can’t. It’s asking way too much of your family. And while I know you’d give it freely, the reality is…it would massively skew the balance of our friendship.”
And right now, my friendship with these two is one of the only good things I have going for me.
Ronnie reels back slightly and crinkles her nose. “What, do you think I’d lord it over you or something? Jesus, Lex, what kind of friend do you think I am?”
Groaning, I run a hand over my face. “Of course not. But…” I hesitate, searching for the right words to explain. If only I could say this with numbers. Numbers don’t lie, and math is the one language I know how to speak fluently.
But numbers can’t fight this battle for me, and Ronnie deserves to know why I can’t accept her generosity, as much as I wish I could.
“It would always be there—this weight of knowing I owe you and can never repay you—and it would change the dynamic between us. Blame it on my pride, but our friendship is too important to me to risk anything changing it. So, I love you and thank you, but it’s just not a debt I’m comfortable being in.”
“But you’re okay being in debt toDamian?” Andie counters.
I shake my head. “That’s the thing. I wouldn’t be. I won’t go into the details just in case he tries to sue me later, but it sounded like I would be doinghima favor. Besides, the Navarros can stand to be one hundred and thirty-five thousand dollars poorer, don’t you think?”
The cousins exchange another dubious glance, and that’s when it dawns on me what they’re really nervous about. This isn’t about the money or the possibility of reliving my embarrassment from freshman year. This isn’t even about Damian; he’s just a secondary factor, connected to but not the crux of the issue.
