“I feel like I haven’t seen you all day,” Holden murmurs, wrapping his arms around me.
“You’ve been chatting with everyone else. I’ve been feeling very neglected, Mister Lynch.”
“I’m so sorry, my love. However can I make it up to you?”
“I have—”
“Mama, Daddy? I gotta potty.”
Ashton’s voice cuts through the din with ease, seeming to echo in the silence left behind. Holden’s arms tighten around me then loosen, and I slowly turn to see everyone staring at us—more specifically, the child newly-turned three. My mom’s gaze darts from Ashton to me, and I shrug before unbuckling his seat. Holden takes him before I can do so much as blink; he leans forward over and whispers over Ashton’s head:
“You can explain this to your parents.”
“Jerk.”
I do, receiving many tears and tight hugs from my mothers, Lisa, even Cheryl.
I feel no remorse for herding most of the guests out of the house four hours later. Evelyn and John finish rinsing the dirty dishes and putting them in the dishwasher, while Holden wipes frosting and crumbs of chocolate cake off the table. I follow everyone out, waving and hugging and forcing a smile that doesn’t betray how tired I am. Thankfully, no one seems to notice as they file to their cars. One by one, they pull out of the driveway, then they’re all gone, and I can go to bed.
Except when I enter the living room once more, Holden and Ashton are sitting on the couch together; Holden reads aloud from Ashton’s favorite book, the steady cadence of his voice soothing. It’s the picture of domesticity. It’s happiness made physical. It’shome.
It’s everything I knew I’d never get.
Only a little under two years ago, it was just me—and sometimes Ashton—in a one-room apartment in Austin, always waiting for Katie’s next screw-up, always jumping when her stepsister would inevitably find her lifestyle too hard to give up. I did what she said, when she said, and damn the consequences. School and Ashton took every ounce of my attention, my focus, and I was okay with that. I’d long accepted my lot in life. I could never truly complain: Katie’s messy life gave me an amazing blessing.
Then a man with gorgeous gray eyes turned my life upside-down with just a simple question. Nothing’s been the same since, and I don’t want it to ever be. He introduced me to new parts of myself, to the realities of love and compromise and all it took to keep a relationship alive. He taught me how love is a precious responsibility. He brought so much joy to my existence. When I met him, I began living for someone other than the child I didn’t give birth to.
“Are you ready for bed?” Holden asks, and I shake my head. “Honey—”
“I’m fine, babe. Promise. Keep reading.”
Instead of doing so, Holden carefully moves a sleeping Ashton and rises to his feet. He approaches with a hand stretched toward me, and I take it with a frown. His smile fills me with warmth, and he pulls me in against his chest. I tuck my head under his chin, let him lead me into a slow sway. His chest vibrates beneath my ear as he begins to sing.
“’Cause love like yours don’t come around, not in this quiet little town. You got a way of turnin’ gray skies blue. I don’t need no city lights or chasin’ dreams that fade at night. Long as I’m holdin’ onto you…”
“I’m right where I belong,” I whisper along, and he lets out a quiet laugh. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”
“I will never tire of hearing it. I love you more, too, than I can say, Dee.”
Even though there’s no music, we don’t stop dancing for a long while. My feet ache by the time we do, but I don’t complain. I just watch Holden ease Ashton into his arms, and we head upstairs. He disappears into Ashton’s room while I make my way to ours. I spend the few minutes without Holden readying our bed and brushing my teeth. He sits on the bed when I emerge from the bathroom.
After changing into my usual oversized T-shirt, I slip in between the sheets and wait for him to do what he needs to do in the bathroom. Holden stumbles toward the bed, eyes barely open, and I bite back a smile at the sight. He tugs on my hand until I scoot closer. His breathing evens out quickly, though I know he’s not quite asleep yet.
The realization hits me as I watch him drift off: This is everything I will ever want for the rest of my life. Holden isn’t my first love, but he’s my last love. No one else will ever compare to him in any way. I’ve struggled and fought to get to this point, but it makes this all much sweeter.
I want everything with him more than anything else I’ve ever wanted before.
My parents’ marriages may have fallen apart. It doesn’t mean I’m doomed to repeat their mistakes. Their unhappiness. Holden and I have proved we have what it takes to work through the hard times, to follow the road back home to each other. I can use my past, the history between my parents, as a roadmap of what not to do.
I run a finger along his cheekbone. He twitches but doesn’t open his eyes, and I stretch forward to kiss him softly. With barely an inch between us, I whisper:
“Marry me.”
