The end of the interview comes with a packet of papers and a “Welcome aboard!” I tuck the folder to my chest as I exit the building amidst the cheerful goodbye from the pixie-headed receptionist. I wait until I’m sitting in my car before I let out a slow breath. My worries had been for nothing, and I’ve never been more grateful to be wrong about something. Now all I have to do is prove to Tara that hiring me isn’t a mistake.
The weekend passes too quickly. Monday arrives and brings with it the start of a new routine: While I shower, Holden feeds Ashton and brews coffee. Then I take over readying Ashton for the day so Holden can clean himself up and get dressed. He buckles Ashton into his seat, kisses me, and promises to be home in time for dinner. I watch as he disappears into his gold-gray sedan, the engine rumbling to life, then he reverses out of the garage.
Half an hour later, I crouch beside Ashton outside the room he’s been assigned to and run a hand over his hair. “Hey, baby, you ready?”
“I no go.”
“I know, it’s scary, isn’t it? But I promise, Mister Josh and Miss Annie are real nice. And I’ll be here as soon as I can to get you.”
“No!”
“I’m sorry, Ash, but yes.” His face screws up, cheeks reddening, and I rush to stem the oncoming tantrum. “Okay, how about this. Just a few minutes, okay? Just a few minutes with the other kids and all the fun toys. If you don’t like it, I’ll take you back home. I promise.”
Ashton frowns, but the tantrum has vanished from the horizon. He lets me wrap my hand around his, and I lead him into the room. Though he stays pressed against my thighs, his gaze darts around the room, taking in all the sounds and sights. I encourage him gently until he peels himself away. Ashton looks at me over his shoulder a few times, but he continues shuffling toward the corner where a little girl plays with a bucket of building blocks. His attention is ensnared by the clatter of the blocks as they tumble to the floor, and my lips curve into a smile when he no longer looks at me. When he pays more attention to the toys and not to his fear.
Annie and Josh smile at me as I pass to slip out of the room. I hesitate in the hallway, listen for any sound of distress from my nephew. Upon hearing none, I find I have no excuse to linger. So I inhale unsteadily before turning toward the far end of the building.
I discover that, as soon as I’ve completed the training required of me, I truly enjoys my job. Being in the same building as Ashton but unable to care for him takes some getting used to, and it’s harder than I thought to be in charge of children unrelated to me. But overall, the job brings no complaints.
Until it’s two weeks in, and someone taps on the hood of my car as I am pulling Ashton from his seat. I jump, a yelp breaking in my throat, and he frowns up at her. I force a smile I hope reassures him then turn my gaze to the man standing on the sidewalk. Brushing a stray curl out of her face, I nudge Ashton to the side so I can close the door.
“Hi,” I say though I go no nearer to the man. “Can I help you?”
His lips curve upwards in the corners, and I suppress a shiver. The man tucks his hands into his pockets, shrugging awkwardly as he approaches. “Yeah, I, uh, I’ve seen you around these past couple weeks, and, well, I just dropped Lily off to her class, saw you out here, figured I’d ask if you’d like to go to dinner sometime.”
My mind stutters to a standstill. All thoughts flee like roaches in a sudden burst of light. My hand rests on Ashton’s shoulder, my fingers holding him tightly, even as he squirms and protests. I stare, slack-jawed, at the man who’s staring at me, waiting for an answer as if he hasn’t just asked something so—
“Inappropriate,” I squeak out before coughing quietly. “That is—This is neither the time nor place for you to ask me out.”
“You’re right,” he concedes, head bobbing. “Normally, I wouldn’t be so bold. I just haven’t been able to get you out of my mind, so I figured I would take the chance.”
My gaze casts wildly about for anyone to notice, to intervene, but the other parents are busy corralling their children toward the front door. Swallowing thickly, I shake my head.
“First off, we don’t know each other. Hell, I don’t even know your name, andI don’t want to,” I tack on when his mouth opens. “And cornering me at my car during drop-off is an unacceptable method for you to proposition me.”
“That’s what a date is for, to get to know each other.”
He shrugs again. The smile on his face is clearly meant to be benign and charming, but it only throws klaxons in my brain into a screaming red-alert. I release Ashton’s shoulder in favor of wrapping my fingers around his small hand. He glances up at me with eyes confused under furrowed brows. I smile down at him before shaking my head at the man. The man who’s so close—too close.
“I’m not interested,” I snap out as bile creeps up my throat.
“You said it yourself, we don’t know each other. I could be your Mister Right.”
“I said no.”
I tug on Ashton’s hand, and we round the back of my car in a rush. His little legs scramble to keep up with my longer strides, and I hurriedly press the lock button on my fob. The SUV beeps twice, but I don’t look back even after I’m inside the building. Something tells me I’m overreacting to a simple invitation for dinner, and why hadn’t I just told the man I’m in a relationship? All I’d had to say was “I’m dating someone already”, right?
But, another part of me counters, why should I have to rely on Holden’s existence in order to reject someone successfully? Why should the man only respect my ‘no’ if it comes with a side of “I already have a man in my life”? I deserve respect on my own merit, and it infuriates me to think that the man wouldn’t think the same.
My coworkers don’t question it when I ask—Annie leads Ashton to room 2 where I wait at the end of the day, and Gloria tells me when Lily’s father has picked her up. Josh walks with Ashton and me to the car and stands on the sidewalk until I’ve pulled out of the lot before he goes to his own car. This level of precaution is unnecessary, definitely an overreaction. The man hadn’t been threatening in any way, just pushy, but I can’t shake the discomfort of the situation he’d put me in.
Holden ambles into the kitchen as Ashton and I come in from the garage, and he crouches down to catch the toddler speeding toward him. I hang my bag and our jackets on the hooks embedded in the wall before turning to watch my boyfriend and my nephew. Holden’s smile is wide, eyes soft, as he listens to Ashton’s animated chatter. His gaze cuts to my face, and a brow rises at whatever he sees on my face. I shake my head but know I can’t keep this from him.
“Hey, Ash, why don’t you go play so Auntie Dee and I can talk, okay?”
“’Kay!”
Once Ashton is preoccupied in the living room with his toys, Holden leads me to the kitchen and leans backward against the countertop. I go willingly into his arms, let him hold me to his chest. The tension in my body bleeds away with the contact. His heart beats steadily under my ear, and I close my eyes as the sound soothes me.
