“My brain can only process so much at a time, and I’m way beyond my bandwidth for the day,” I say. “Maybe for the month.”
“I understand,” he says.
I shake my head. “I can’t stay here with her,” I say.
“We can get a room at the hotel.”
I nod and get up to pack my bags while Rhodes also collects his things. My entire body feels heavy as I grab my clothes, a few books, and my favorite pink blanket.
Rhodes meets me in the living room, takes my bags, and loads them in his car. I stand in my living room, looking around in disbelief. The only life I’ve ever known is over. The person most important to me in the world is gone. My home is gone. My store and my career are probably gone too.
How do people get through this? It’s physically painful. Every fiber of my being is heavy and screaming “no.” The simple act of walking feels like dragging lead.
“I hate to say this,” Rhodes says, coming back into the house. “But if there’s anything of your grandmother’s of any value, sentimental or otherwise, you may want to take it with you.”
He has a point. I walk back to her room, stepping over the mounds of bags and loose clothes my mother left scattered all over the place. I grab a Piggly Wiggly tote full of my mother’s shoes, dump it in the floor, and place Nana’s jewelry box inside. I also grab some photos, a Wedgwood ring tray, and Waterford crystal cross she bought on a trip to Ireland with my grandfather. I also take the orange and brown crocheted afghan off the bed and hold it to my face. It still smells like Nana, and it’s all I can do to keep from sobbing.
Rhodes leads me to the car, his hand on my back. I take one last look at the house as he drives me to the hotel.
RHODES
Icancel my site visits and teleconferences for the next week as I figure out how best to support Micah. She’s completely shut down. We only stay in the hotel in Magnolia Row for one night. When she wakes up the next morning, she tells me she wants to completely get out of town, at least for a while.
So, I drive her to Birmingham. When we get to my condo, she crashes on the bed, despite the fact that it’s only lunchtime, and doesn’t get up until evening. I have pizza delivered, and once we eat, she goes straight back to sleep.
The next few days go by exactly like this. She wanders around like a zombie, occasionally showers, and only eats when I put food in front of her.
After a week, I finally convince her to go to dinner with me at Chez Fonfon though I know she doesn’t want to. Even so, she showers, does her makeup, and wears a gorgeous green sweater dress that hugs her curves and makes her emerald eyes look like something out of a dream. Once she’s ready, I can see a hint of her sparkle coming back.
At dinner she seems lighter, and I can tell getting out of the condo is good for her. Her face glows in the low light and there are moments when she forgets about everything in Magnolia Row. It’s just the two of us, having dinner like it’s something we do all the time—together, as a proper couple. It feels right. I know her heart isn’t here, but I don’t ever want her to leave.
The next day we go for a long walk at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens, then wander around the art museum, where she finally gets to see the massive collection of Wedgwood pottery I’ve been telling her about since we met. Her face lights up when she sees it, and she talks about how much her grandmother would’ve loved it. It’s the first time she’s talked about Nana without crying.
Finally, after she’s been in my condo for two weeks, I’m sitting at the drafting table in my office working on some blueprints for the project in Memphis when Micah walks in from the bedroom.
“Rhodes,” she says. “We need to figure out what we’re doing.”
I turn to her, relieved. I’ve been wanting to have this conversation, but was too afraid to broach the subject—afraid it was too soon after her nana died, afraid she would say she wants to be alone, afraid she wants to start a new family now that she doesn’t have anyone to take care of.
“I agree,” I say.
“I don’t know how I would be getting through this time without you,” she says. “And I lack the vocabulary to explain how deeply I love you right now.”
I’m taken aback. “I love you too, Micah,” I say.
“I don’t know what our future looks like, or if we even have future,” she says. “You have a beautiful place here, and a career, and all the excitement a big city like this can offer. I’m a small town girl. While it is nice here, I can’t imagine making a life in this city, even with you. My home is in Magnolia Row. My friends are in Magnolia Row. My store, if it even is mine anymore, is in Magnolia Row.”
I take a deep breath. “I don’t want you to give up anything for me,” I say. “When you think about your life at home, does it include me? Or are you wanting a fresh start with someone younger? Someone who can give you a family?”
“Could my life in Magnolia Row include you?” she asks.
“I can do my job from anywhere. If you want to be with me, we will make it work. But I want to make sure you’re serious before we go any further. Fifteen years is a big age gap, and I feel like you’ll be giving up a lot to be with me.”
“If you’re talking about the kids thing, I already told you it’s not an issue,” Micah says. “This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life up to this point. My entire adulthood has revolved around taking care of my nana. I don’t regret a minute of it, and I’d continue to do it every day if it meant keeping her forever, but now that chapter is over. I want to take care of me. Focus on me. I see what Patsy goes through with her boys, and God bless her for it, but it looks exhausting.”
“To be fair,” I say, “she does have five kids. One is easier.”
Micah laughs. “True. Even so, this next chapter in my life needs to be about freedom. I want to go to museums, travel, grow my antique business, have drinks with my friends without worrying about someone at home who needs me to pack their lunch or wipe their butt.” She sighs and closes her eyes. “I have a lot to figure out in terms of where I’m going to live, how I’m going to get my store back and all of that, but this week here with you has been enlightening. A breath of fresh air, truly. It’s been good for me to get out of Magnolia Row and get some perspective. But now I’m ready to go back. And I hope you’ll go with me.”
