“I think so,” I say, studying her face for a reaction.
She looks sad, shaking her head and turning her attention to her eye makeup. She puts the final touches on her lashes, gives me a hug, then tells me to hop in the shower before her mother can take the bathroom. She goes to the guest room and fetches my toiletry bag and clothes while I fiddle with the water temperature.
“I can’t tell you how much it means to me for you to be here,” she says.
I nod. “I know, Micah.”
She smiles, gives me a kiss, then leaves me alone to undress and shower.
When I emerge from the bathroom, I’m dressed and ready to go. Micah is in the living room staring out the window, her face completely blank. When she realizes I’m there, she stands and grabs her purse.
“We’re leaving!” she calls down the hall to her mother, who pops her head out of the bedroom.
“So the bathroom is free?”
Micah rolls her eyes and says nothing.
Heavy footsteps plod down the hallway. For a tiny woman, Micah’s mother is loud.
“I thought the visitation started at ten,” she says, poking her head into the living room. She’s wearing nothing but a bra and shorts, and I turn my eyes so she doesn’t think I’m trying to stare.
“We’re meeting my friends for breakfast.”
There’s an awkward pause. “Nice dress,” her mom says, as if surprised. “That’s a good cut for a big girl.”
I glance at Micah and she looks down, embarrassed.
“You can’t—" I begin, ready to admonish this woman for talking like that to her daughter, but Micah cuts me off.
“It’s not worth it,” she whispers to me. “Goodbye, Mother,” she says.
And with that, we turn to leave.
On the drive to the coffee shop, I tell Micah several times how beautiful she is, but she shakes her head and puts her hand up as if telling me to stop talking, so I do. I know her mom got under her skin, and there’s nothing I can do or say to make it okay.
I wish I could make this entire nightmare disappear for her. It’s beyond difficult to watch.
MICAH
Just get through the day.
Get through the day, and tomorrow I can deal with whatever shit my mother dragged in. I can figure things out with Rhodes, and I can try to find my new normal.
All I need is to get through this day. One heavy step at a time.
At least my dress is a “good cut for a big girl.” I roll my eyes every time those words echo in my brain. It’s not surprising, coming from my mother, but I wish she hadn’t said them in front of Rhodes. I already feel like we’re mismatched somehow without anyone bringing it to his attention.
We hardly talk on the way to the coffee shop. I want to forget everything from this morning and focus on saying goodbye to my nana. While Rhodes drives, I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, hoping this will calm me enough to not fall apart.
When we arrive, Sistine has a table reserved for us in the back corner, and Patsy and Kendall are waiting.
“Oh, honey, you look beautiful,” says Patsy, giving me a big hug.
“You do,” says Kendall, who also squeezes me.
They each give Rhodes a hug in turn, and we sit as Sistine approaches with tea, coffee, and bagels. Once we’re fed, Sistine sits with us and I proceed to tell them about my mother arriving with her chaos.
“She can’t stay there,” says Sistine. “That should be your house.”
