Chapter Six – Going Extremely Slow
Thom was in a mentalstruggle against what lay before him.One, was the woman lying before him on the couch, snoring, and passing gas in between the loud attempts to catch her breath.Two, was the realization of the trouble she'd gone through to travel to him to, in fact, become his wife.The third problem was that in person, he didn't like the lady’s fairy hunting vibe.However, he wasn't one to throw the baby out with the bath water; therefore, he sat at the kitchen table, his laptop before him along with a few files from the office.He actually was looking over the corporate policies on handling those who lived rough.From his vantage point, he could see the woman sleep on his couch while maintaining a safe distance, so she wouldn't awaken and think he'd possibly interfered with her person in some unseemly manner.
Suddenly, a loud grunt was heard, and she bolted upright like a daisy peering out of the cracks on the sidewalk in the city.She looked around, dazed and apparently confused, spotting Thom at the table.
“Oh, I must have been more tired than I realized,” she said.
“Obviously, you needed the rest,” he replied.“I left a plate of the dinner you prepared in the microwave.”
“Sounds good.Was the meal tasty?I mean, I hope it was tasty,” she told him.“I've been practicing my lamb recipes, but even in the Dakotas, the meat ain't cheap.”
“I feel blessed for your efforts,” he said, looking at the disheveled mess on his couch.Thom lowered his eyes to his keyboard as she rose and stretched; for some odd reason, her butt wasn't done with the expulsion of gas, and she let another one rip.
“Sorry, but better out than in, my Momma always says,” she told him.“I need to freshen up and eat that yummy dinner.”
Thom had nothing to say to any of it.To him, it felt like Mateo had played a joke on him, and this was a punishment for taking longer than expected to bring back the horns.He was only late by two days, considering he'd gotten a flat on the RV, and halfway across West Virginia, he’d discovered the bathroom tanks weren't empty.He clenched and unclenched his hands at the sound of large, flat feet coming down the hall.
She flounced by him into the kitchen, humming as she warmed up the food.Megan helped herself to his fridge, taking his last RC Cola and bringing it to the table.He rose as she entered the dining room.Once she was seated, he looked down the table at her.
The lady took a long swig and let out a brawny, belly busting belch.“Oh, that was a good one!”Then she smiled and her face lit up.
A man would be lucky to have an adorable-looking wife like Megan Dootch.Her curly blond hair accented the blue eyes, which complimented the upturned nose and thin lips.She wasn't a standard beauty, but nice on the eyes.For a second, Thom began to weigh the odds of the items which unsettled him against the ends that would become his companion.
Megan held the knife and fork in her hands and jabbed the fork into the lamb chop, holding the meat in place on the plate like a pitchfork.The knife she used to saw through the meat, literally ripping off a bloody chunk and tossing it into her mouth.Blood ran down her chin as she masticated the hunk of meat, all the while smiling at him.
“She's listening to fairies in her head,” he said to himself, returning the smile.
“Did you say something to me, Thom?”
“No, simply thinking aloud.”
“Maybe we are thinking the same thing,” she said, turning her head to look at the couch.
“Megan, I don't believe we are,” he said drolly.
“You're telling me you're not ready to make out with all this woman that drove for three days to come and be yours?”
This was said as she ripped off another chunk of meat, gnawing on it while blood oozed between her teeth.The entire situation was going left, and his gut was telling him this was not right.Thom Brown again found himself in a struggle.Once Megan finished her meal, an argument began about her not staying inside of his home, but in her camper for the night.If she broke into his home to make him dinner, he was afraid she would break into his bedroom to make him a father.He also struggled to keep the woman off him as he walked her out the back door to the camper.
“Whoa, whoa,” he said as he fought off her octopus hands that went from squeezing his ass to trying to fondle his junk.“Ms.Dootch, contain yourself!”
“You're being stingy, and I drove all this way.For months we've been talking, and you haven't unleashed any sexy words on me.I know you have needs, I have them too, and I've been saving up all this juiciness to share with you,” she said, clawing for him.
“Stop it!”He yelled at her.“This is...just stop.Goodnight, Ms.Dootch.Rest well.”
He walked away from her, locking his doors and checking all the windows, ensuring those were locked as well.Try as he might to sleep, he couldn't get into a solid night's rest.By the morning, he was bordering on grumpy and was seeking a means to get rid of the woman.He was not, for any reason, spending the rest of his life with her; even if she wanted him, it felt off in his soul and, in his heart.He thought of butterfly collectors who ended the life of the creature to capture the insect and pin it to a board, so they could come back to stare at the dead carcass, professing to admire it’s beauty.His spirit would die a rapid death living with the woman, who wanted more than anything to make work a world she’d created in her head for them to exist.A world, in complete juxtaposition to the one in which he actually resided.
