“God, no.” Josiah forced a laugh he didn’t feel. The last thing he wanted was to alarm Alex in his current fragile state of mind, but he had said he felt safe with him, so he felt he had to warn him. “Alex… have you seen anyone outside?” he asked quietly. “Only, I might be imagining it, but I thought I saw someone.”
He could have kicked himself when he saw the look of panic on Alex’s face. “It was probably nothing,” he added hurriedly.“It’s late and I’m tired. But tomorrow, I think I’ll post a couple of agents out front to watch the house. You won’t know they’re there. I’d just feel happier knowing you’re protected when I’m at work. I could take you with me, but I’d rather you stayed with Sem for now, while he’s still so weak.”
He knew that he’d already locked all the doors, but he wanted one last check before bed. By the time he walked wearily up the stairs, he found Alex already fast asleep. He slumped on the side of the bed beside him.
“You poor bastard,” he murmured, stroking Alex’s hair gently. “How you’re walking around looking even halfway normal is beyond me.” He climbed in under the covers, being careful not to wake him.
This was a new problem, and not one he’d anticipated, although clearly that was because he was an idiot. He made a mental note to speak to Sofie the next day. She might know someone who could help. Alex might have created the perfect mask to hide his true intentions, but at what cost? He might have found a way of surviving Tyler, but could he survive what he’d done to himself?
Chapter Sixteen
AUGUST, 2089
Alex
Alex retired to bed early, mindful of C’s advice about being rested. He couldn’t afford to waste his rest on worries about what the next day would bring. He went through C’s techniques for sleeping: first, acceptance that events were outside his control. He couldn’t change what would happen tomorrow, so why fret about it? Then he counted down backwards from one hundred in increments of three, which he’d found helpful as a way of managing insomnia. It worked. He woke the next morning after a good night’s sleep, ready to face his fate.
There would be no drawings given as gifts this time, no fond farewells. He owned nothing, so there was nothing to pack. He knew better than to ask for the expensive drawing pad and pencils. He went to the gym first thing, as was his normal custom, and found E waiting for him with tears in her eyes.
“Gideon says you’re leaving today. I’m going to miss you.” She flung her arms around his neck. Alex held her gently, politely, without affection or encouragement. After a few seconds, she drew back.
“Sorry for being so emotional,” she sniffed. “I’m sure you’re happy to be going home, but I’ve loved teaching you. Look at the difference in you now compared to when you arrived.” Shepointed at his reflection in the mirror. He did indeed look in excellent health after so many months at Belvedere; his skin was clear, his eyes bright, and his body toned. He was never going to be the kind of man who could put on a lot of muscle, but he looked strong and fit.
“Much of that is down to your excellent tuition,” he told her smoothly. “Thank you very much, E.”
He performed his usual workout under her tearful instruction, and then left without looking back. It felt cruel to be so distant with her, but he’d been working hard on staying detached for the past few months and had accepted that this was his new reality. He wasn’t fighting that battle with himself anymore – it had to be done.
He took a final shower and then returned to his bedroom. B had given him the clothes he’d been wearing when he first arrived, and Alex had laundered them himself to a perfect state of crisp cleanliness. It felt strange to put them on. He’d arrived in the middle of winter and now it was summer. The sweater and coat were far too hot to wear, so he folded them carefully as he’d been taught and placed them in the garment bag B had provided. The jeans, which had been loose and baggy when he arrived, now fitted him again. Finally ready, he studied himself in the mirror. He was so used to wearing white and navy that the red tee-shirt seemed jarring and garish. The first of many adjustments he’d have to make, no doubt.
There was only one final thing… He held up the elegant gold necklace with the Tyler ID tag that B had placed in a little see-through bag. For the past eight months, he’d worn a cheap plastic ID necklace, but he much preferred it to the tasteful, expensive necklace waiting for him. Still, he had no choice, so he fastened the Tyler ID tag around his neck. It was far lighter and less obtrusive than the Belvedere one, and yet, it felt like a noose.He squashed that thought down. He was psyching himself out when he needed to stay calm.
He ate his breakfast quietly, slowly, staring into space. D kept casting little glances his way, and at the end of the meal she patted his arm shyly.
“Goodbye,” she whispered. It was one of only a handful of words he’d heard her speak in all the months he’d been here.
“Goodbye. Thank you for taking such good care of me,” he told her with an empty smile. He was genuinely fond of her, but his fondness was of no use to him or her, so he pushed the emotion away. It was sad to say goodbye, but he had no say in his going or whether he’d see any of these people again, so it was pointless indulging in any emotions about it.
Gideon came for him at 10.30a.m. on the dot.
“Ready?”
“Of course.” Alex grasped his garment bag tightly.
Gideon looked him up and down and gave a satisfied nod.
“The perfect Belvedere product. Don’t forget what you’ve learned here, Alex. Be a credit to us.”
“I will.” Alex nodded placidly.
Gideon took hold of his shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Never let them see who you really are – but don’t ever forget who you really are, either,” he said fiercely. “And fulfil your mission.”
Alex felt as if he had a streak of pure steel in his soul, a core of strength and resilience that hadn’t been there before, and he had this man to thank for it. There was only one way he could show his gratitude.
“My mission is to serve my houder to the best of my ability,” he said, gazing at Gideon blankly.
“Ah. Yes.” Gideon patted his arm. “That’s exactly what your mission is, Alex. Perform it well, and good luck, my dear boy.”
Alex offered no hug, and Gideon seemed not to expect one. He ushered him out of the little white bedroom, and Alex left without taking a last look around.
