Where had he gone?
What had he been doing?
Why had he left?
Before her mother could voice them, Eira lifted a hand. “I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I don’t have the answers to the questions you want to ask. All I know is … he’s back. He sought me out tonight. I told him Teo was his.”
Her mother blinked, her lips parting in surprise.
“And he said he’s going to stay … if we don’t leave with him.”
Her mother’s brow furrowed. “You’d leave me?” The question was thin and worried.
Eira shook her head quickly. “No, Mom. That’snot what I’m saying. He said he wanted all of us, you, me, and Teo, to go with him. After he finishes whatever it is he’s doing here.”
Her mother’s frown deepened. “What work?”
“I don’t know,” Eira admitted softly. “I don’t know exactly what he’s involved in, but … he said he still loves me.”
Her mother scoffed bitterly, the sound sharp in the quiet room. “Then why did he leave?”
Again, Eira shook her head, her throat tight. “He said it was for my safety. That he left because he loved me … because he wanted me to be safe.”
Her mother stood abruptly, moving into the kitchen without another word. She busied herself with the tea, filling the silence with the clink of mugs and the soft whistle of the kettle heating on the stove.
Eira watched her, knowing her mother’s need to occupy her hands when her mind wouldn’t stop racing. When the tea was ready, her mother returned and handed Eira a chipped ceramic mug. They sat in silence, the weight of everything hanging heavy between them.
Finally, her mother spoke, her voice quiet but firm. “Do you still love him?”
The question landed like a punch to her chest.The pain she felt roared to the forefront of her mind. Tears formed and fell as Eira stared into her tea, the steam curling upward. “Mom …” she began, her voice raw. “When I saw him tonight, I thought my prayers had been answered. I love him. I’vealwaysloved him.”
She paused and swallowed hard, the ache in her throat sharp and deep. “But now I know … without question … that the kind, gentle man I knew is also a killer. And the question I have to ask myself is, do I want Teo to grow up with a killer for a father? Do I trust a man who left without a word? How can I trust again?”
They sat together in the darkness, the faint glow of the kitchen lantern casting long shadows across the small living room. The night outside pressed close, a symphony of distant crickets and the occasional low call of a dairy cow echoing beyond the walls.
Eira cradled her mug between her hands, the tea now lukewarm, but she barely noticed. Her mind leaped from one thought to the next in a vicious, relentless cycle.
Across from her, her mother cleared her throat and set her empty cup down on the scarred woodentable. “I should ask you something, Eira,” she said quietly.
Eira glanced at her, bracing. When her mother said she “should” do something, it was impactful and usually uncomfortable.
Her mother’s eyes were steady but soft, her voice careful. “I should ask you … did Mateo ever treat you badly?”
The question lodged like a stone in Eira’s throat. She swallowed reflexively, trying to dislodge the emotion. Her mother continued, her tone gentle but pointed. “Now that you know for certain who hereallyis … when you look back at the life he gave you, those years you were together, do you think he would ever treat you the way a killer treats his enemies? Would he raise a hand to you? Hurt you in any way … other than leaving you without knowing what happened to him?”
Eira frowned, her heart clenching painfully. She didn’t even have to think. “No, Mom,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “Never.” Her mother nodded, her gaze never leaving Eira’s.
“But I have to think of Teo,” Eira whispered, the words catching in her throat.
Her mother leaned forward and reached out, resting a warm, steady hand on Eira’s knee.
“There are so many children in this world without fathers,” she said softly, her voice growing rough with emotion. “Because of those damn drugs.”
Her voice cracked, and Eira’s eyes snapped to her in shock. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard her mother curse. Her mom swallowed hard and kept going. “If Mateo is the man you knew … if he is willing to take you and Teo and me away from all this death and devastation … then we go.”
Eira’s breath stuttered, her pulse thudding in her ears. “But, Mom, what about the aunts and uncles? What about our family?”
Her mother gave a tired, weary shrug. “They’ll take over the dairy here. They’ll understand. They’d say the same thing I’m saying now. If there’s a chance to leave … if there’s a chance to prosper … and if there’s even the smallest chance at love for you, Eira … we take it.”
