My hand was clutched tightly in June’s as we entered the stadium. I fixed the baseball hat on my head. The team hadbeen to see me often in the hospital, but this felt strange. I hadn’t stepped foot in the stadium since I’d relapsed a few months ago. The last time my feet had touched the soil was when I’d collapsed in front of a one-hundred-thousand-strong crowd.
That was one way to make them remember my name.
“You okay, baby?” June asked as we made our way down the hallway that led to the field.
I nodded and kissed the back of her hand.
“Bro, all you had to do was relapse to get me a backstage tour?” Chris joked, and I couldn’t have appreciated it more. He threw his arm around my neck. “I appreciate your commitment to our friendship.”
“A one-time offer only,” I said, and looked at June. “This is the last time I do this chemo and antibody crap. Only smooth sailing from now on.”
“Amen,” June said from beside me, making me laugh more.
“I recognize that laugh,” Coach said, appearing from the locker rooms. “Jesse,” he greeted, and I released June to give him a hug. “You’re looking good, kid.” He turned to June. “June, good to see you again.”
“Hello, sir,” June said, her impeccable southern manners. They had met in my hospital room when the team had come to visit. Coach clearly adored her.
I introduced Chris and Emma, and Coach tilted his head the direction of the locker room. “Your team is eager to see you.” A flash of nerves hit my stomach. June must have felt my apprehension, as she took my hand in her own.
“They love you,” she said, and kissed my cheek. I knew they did. But it felt strange going back inside that locker room. My life had done another 180 from the beginning of college to now, just like it had in high school.
I took a deep breath and stepped into the locker room. It was loud, and my teammates were everywhere. I took a moment to just take it all in. It felt like home—a feeling that was only intensified by June holding my hand.
Sheridan was the first to notice me. “Taylor!” he shouted, his smile wide. He rushed over and lifted me off the floor. I grunted at the contact, and he jumped back, letting me go.
“Shit!” he said when the room got silent. Horrified faces looked at me like I might break.
“Ease up, bro. If the cancer doesn’t kill me, your eager greeting might.” Awkward laughs trickled filled the locker room, my teammates unsure whether to laugh or not.
I grinned, and Sheridan playfully punched me in the stomach. “Don’t do to that to me, man! We need you back. I thought we were winning against the big C?”
“I’ll be back,” I said, believing every word. “We will win, and I’ll be back for next season.”
“That’s what I want to hear!” Sheridan said and stopped himself from lifting me up again. He shook his head, disappointed at himself. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Each one of my teammates came up to say hello. Most had already met June, but I introduced them to Chris and Emma as my best friends from A&M, which earned them some boos. As we left to let the team get ready, Coach followed us into the hall.
“You okay walking onto the field before we start? The fans have been real worried about you. It’ll be nice for them to show their love to you and see you’re doing well.”
“Sure,” I said, but my heart beat a million miles an hour. My collapsing on the field, on live TV, had been quite the viral moment. It would be nice to show them I was alive and doing well. Coach had already had to release two different statements when people had posted I had died. People could be unreasonable.
Coach went back in with the team, and June’s hand in mine, we followed Chris out near the team tunnel. The cheerleaders and band were already out there doing their thing, riling everyone up. The screams of the fans were deafening, and I felt a shot of nerves run through my veins.
“Are you ready for this?” June asked.
“Sure,” I said, smiling, but June gave me side-eye.
I laughed.
She smiled back, then, just for me, said, “I’m so proud of you. I know I say it all the time, but if I had been the one to relapse…” Her eyes shined. “I don’t know if I would have been so brave a second time.”
“You would,” I said, meaning every word. “Because you want our porch dream, Junebug—the one we’ll move heaven and earth to get.”
“How are y’all eighteen and already act like an old married couple?” Chris joked. June rolled her eyes again, this time at Chris, but I couldn’t hear anything but the roar of the crowd.
Married. As soon as Chris had said those words, something inside of me shifted and it just felt…right.
June looked to me, eyes bright and happiness glowing on her face. Her dark bob showed off her beautiful face to perfection, and I saw it—I saw our entire future playing out ahead of us. Need burned through me, the need to make her mine. Fully and legally mine.
