My heart broke. I didn’t want him to be sad or quiet. I missed him so much, loved him so much, I just wanted to run to his dorm and kiss him until I could no longer feel anything but his lips. But I was doing better since our break. In the time we had been apart, I had been talking to Michelle, our therapist from the ranch, to work through my insecurities. It was helping so much. When Jesse and I spoke again, I wanted to be stronger for him—for both of us.
But I had kept up with the Longhorns and was so unbelievably proud of him. He was breaking every freshman record, and there was even talk from the sportscasters that he may become the first-string QB even when the senior player returned.
I linked arms with Emma, and she picked up her overnight bag. Sydney was visiting her parents, so Emma had Sydney’s bed, and I was ready for a full weekend with my best friend. It had been far too long.
As we walked into my dorm room, Emma placed her bag on the floor and sat on my bed. When I joined her, she bit her lip, and said, “You haven’t broken up with Jesse, have you? Jesse didn’t really say what was happening, but both Chris and I have felt some kind of distance between you.” Emma reached for me. “Please say you haven’t. I don’t think I’d ever believe in love again if you and Jesse couldn’t make it after all you’ve beenthrough.” Emma’s voice grew quiet. “You’re soulmates, June. Anyone can see it.”
“I believe that too,” I said, fiddling with a loose thread on my bedspread. “No, I know it.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve just struggled to adjust. Michelle said it’s very common. We’ve gone from being told we were going to die to miraculously being cured, then moving to college and my boyfriend finding celebrity overnight. She said just one of those things can really affect a person’s mental state. All of them? Yeah, I didn’t cope well.”
Emma held my hand. “And now? How are you now?”
I really thought about it before I answered. “Better. I feel so much better.”
Emma paused, and I could tell she wanted to say something. I waited until she said, “How would you feel about getting dinner tonight with Chris?”
My face lit up with a smile. I had been wondering when I would see him.
“And Jesse?”
I blinked at my friend.
Emma’s expression seemed hopeful, but then it quickly turned to guilt. “Ignore me, June. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“No,” I said, when it was clear she was going to continue apologizing. Emma stopped and, taking a breath, I said, “I’d…I’d like that.” It was the truth. Lord, I had missed Jesse every minute of every single day. In some ways, it had felt like I couldn’t breathe without him, but I was glad I’d taken the time to grow stronger.
“Really?” Emma said.
“Really.”
She grabbed her phone and texted someone. Chris or Jesse, I assumed. “And are you going to the game tomorrow?” she asked. Jesse had gotten Emma and Chris tickets for the game.He always got one for me too, though I hadn’t been to the past few.
“Um, yeah,” I said, and some off-center part of me slotted back into place.
Emma put down her phone, and I quickly changed the subject. Just the thought of seeing Jesse tonight made butterflies swoop in circles in my stomach.
“Soooo, have you met anyone?” I asked.
Emma playfully pursed her lips.
“You have!” I said excitedly. She had omitted that information from our texts and phone calls.
“He’s in my math class.” Emma shrugged. “It’s early days, so we’ll see how it goes. His name is Damon. And he is hot!”
“I’m so happy for you,” I said, hugging her. When I pulled back, I asked, “Has Chris met him?”
Emma laughed. “Yes, and of course he has been relentless about him being another math nerd.”
I laughed, picturing the amount of teasing he must give her and Damon. “And Chris? Has he met anyone?”
Emma nodded. “My roommate, Nikki.” I laughed, as Emma gave herself a facepalm. “So he’s around all the time. It’s like being back at Harmony, twenty-four seven. He’s an annoying itch that just won’t go away.” She winked at me, and I knew she was joking. That was just her and Chris.
As my laughter trailed off, a burst of warmth filled my chest. We are doing it.
Emma must have shared my thought, as she said, “Chemo Club for life, remember?”
“Chemo Club for life,” I said, then got to my feet. “How long until dinner?”
“An hour, okay?” Emma said and started making plans again on her phone.
