She looked momentarily disappointed, and I loved that look. “Right.”
“Ara, are we good?”
She smiled at me, but it wasn’t a real smile, not like the ones she’d given me before everything hit the fan. “We’re okay, Flynn. You can only give me so much, and I’ve decided to accept it while it’s there. Life’s too short for regrets, and I don’t want to regret missing time with you, even if you have put a limit on how much I’ll get.”
Shit. I knew she didn’t intend for her words to hurt, but they did.
I looked away and caught sight of a scrap of lace on the floor. I leaned down to pick it up and Ara held out her hand. Instead of giving them back, however, I tucked them into the pocket of my jeans.
“What do you think you’re doing with those?” she asked, eyes wide.
I smiled. “If you want them back, then you have to ask me nicely much later tonight when we’re back in our bed.”
I could see the indecision on her face, and I watched the shutters in her eyes even though she smiled at me.
“Okay, challenge accepted.”
A small part of me cheered, while a much larger parthatedthese half-smiles.
But they were all my own doing.
“Come on, we should get back out there,” I said.
Ara nodded and after checking her dress again, she ran her fingers through her hair and started off in front of me, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was fucking up in a major way in letting us continue like this.
Chapter Sixteen
Chiara
“Okay, so I know it’s all fake and I need to knowallthe details.”
I gaped at Sofia the next morning as we sat in the salon chairs, our feet in the little bubble baths. Kate spun to face her on the other side, her eyes wide.
“What do you mean you know?” I demanded.
Sofia rolled her eyes. “I mean I know you and Flynn were faking, but that now it’s maybe not so fake, and I need to know where you stand so I can start planning. Is he coming to every holiday gathering now? Will there be another wedding I need to plan for soon? If you decide to have kids, can we plan to be pregnant at the same time, so we don’t have to do it alone?”
“Woah, woah,woah!” I cried, holding up my hands to stop her rant, ignoring Kate’s laughter. “First of all, take a breath and reel itaaaalllthe way back. Flynn and I aren’t—we’re not—how do you know?” I demanded, my mind a mess.
She grinned proudly. “I tricked him into admitting it last night. I already guessed something was off, and some of the things Kate said raised more red flags. So, I told Flynn I knew everything already and wanted to know what he was going to do about it. He spilled all the details and wasn’t too happy with me for the trick, but I wanted to know.”
I gaped at her grinning face. She was a slippery one. Knowing when I was done in, I sighed and leaned back in the chair, shaking my head.
“Flynn and I aren’t anything, not beyond the island, anyway.We’ve already talked about it as much as he’s willing to. He’s unmovable on the subject. We have until tonight and then he goes back to his life, and I go back to mine.”
I tried to ignore the stab to my chest those words caused, but I sucked it up. The truth was Trev’s little talk had done a lot to help me accept the situation for what it was and take what I could get. Flynn had demons to battle, and I could only help him so far. Most of the heavy lifting was on him, and I didn’t see him letting his issues go anytime soon. But that didn’t mean I had to miss out on whatever time we had left, so I was trying to make the most of it, even if some part of me died inside knowing we had an end date.
I thought back to last night. After our quickie in the club, we’d stayed for another thirty minutes before the guys crashed the party. After an awkward encounter with Ellis who hugged me a little too tightly and for a few seconds too long, Flynn had suggested we get out of there. I agreed and we walked back to the hotel.
And instead of talking, we’d gone at it like we were desperate for it. Every time we came together, I learned something new about myself. He stretched my boundaries and opened my eyes to the things I was missing and the things about myself I didn’t realize before him.
But I was always safe.
“But… butwhy?” Sofia begged.
I met Kate’s eyes and shook my head. We’d already talked about this, and I’d come to accept that Flynn was giving me no choice in fighting for our relationship.
I thought back to this morning in bed and tried to find a way to answer Sofia without any more lies.
