She hesitated again and then leaned forward. “I was going to ask you about… about the night you lost your parents.”
Ah, shit.
Schooling my features quickly, I reached for my beer and took a long pull, hoping to give myself some time.
She sighed. “See? Too heavy. Sorry I asked. Please forget it.”
I put my drink down and reached across the table to take her hand, shaking my head.
“No,” I said and kept my gaze focused on our hands. She could know, right? It’s not like it was a big, state secret or anything.
Sighing, I ran my other hand through my hair and looked back up at her. “My dad… he and Uncle Trevor were very similar aftergetting out from under their parents. My grandparents were mean and abusive, and so Trev and my dad grew up rough. Trev joined a gang but thankfully got out when he met Carol. My dad, however—”
“He was in a gang too?” Ara asked softly, eyes wide.
I shook my head. “No, he was just a miserable bastard who wasn’t happy unless everyone else around him was miserable as well. He was abusive, angry, mad at the world for the cards life had dealt him.”
Ara’s fingers clenched around mine and I forced myself to take a breath. “We didn’t get along, and the night of the crash, we’d gotten into a huge fight. I wanted my mother to leave him, to run away with me, but she wasn’t strong enough. She was too beaten down. My father must have clued in on what I wanted because he came home in rage. He was throwing chairs and punches. I got between him and my mother—again—and it wasn’t pretty.”
Chiara remained silent, giving me time. I turned her hand over and traced over the lines of her palms, giving myself something else to focus on.
“Anyway, as it usually happened, he broke down afterwards, swearing he didn’t mean it, that he was just scared to lose us. My mother bought the lie—as she always did—and she tried to pretend everything was fine. He wanted to take us out to dinner, and my mother said we’d go. I wanted to stay home, but I refused to leave him alone with her if I could help it,” I continued, remembering that night clearly.
“Was it an accident?” Chiara asked softly.
I shrugged. “Yes and no. My father had a short temper, and it wasn’t just reserved for us. Someone cut him off, and he started tailgating them. He was swearing and carrying on, and when my mother begged him to stop, told him that he was scaring her, he turned his rage on her. He told her to shut up, that all she did was nag and whine. He liked her fear, so he started drivingfaster, more recklessly, swerving all over the road and being a menace. We were on a sharp turn when he tried to correct from being on the wrong side of the road, but he couldn’t make the turn in time to miss the other car,” I continued, remember the heart-stopping moment the other car appeared in our line of sight.
“Did...did the other driver die?” she asked quietly.
I shook my head and took another mouthful of my beer, taking a moment to breathe through all the old, ugly emotions. “No. His reflexes were faster. He swerved to the other side, and when my father tried to correct his turn, we spun out of control. We hit the side of the railing, and the car flipped and rolled. By the time we stopped, I realized my father was dead. He got off easy, but my mother…”
Ara sucked in a sharp breath and when I glanced back up at her, those big gray eyes were swimming with sympathy. “Oh, Flynn.”
I ducked my head. “It took them two hours to get me out of there, and she struggled to breathe for over an hour of it.”
I’d never forget the sound she’d made, the wet, uneven sound of her breathing as her body struggled to cope with the massive internal injuries she’d suffered. The final rattling breath she’d taken had haunted my dreams for alongtime afterwards.
“I’m so sorry, Flynn,” Ara whispered thickly, her eyes filled with tears.
I shook my head and drew in a deep, cleansing breath. I liked that she knew, but I didn’t want her to cry for me. It was all in the past, and there was no changing it. I’d come a long way since then. I was a different person.
Squeezing her hand gently, I leaned closer and gave her a small smile.
“I was turning out just like my father when we met,” I started.
Her eyes widened and she shook her head in denial, but I continued speaking before she could say anything.
“I was angry, hurting, and I wasn’t happy unless everyone around me was hurting as well. If I had to cause the pain, then so be it. But you…somehow, you found a way to get through to me. You pulled me out of the dark a number of times. Uncle Trevor was a huge help too, but there were times when even he couldn’t make me see a way out. No one could do that… until you.”
Her face softened, her eyes warming, and I was drawn once again to the beauty this woman possessed, inside and out.
“You could have fooled me,” she said with a small laugh. “Half the time, I was certain you were putting up with me because you worried I’d cry if you were too mean.”
I grinned. “I admit, that was a worry, but it wasn’t why I listened to you. I don’t know what it was, Ara. There was just something about you that called to me, that got through when nothing else would. I found… peace with you. I still do.”
She bit her lip and lowered her lashes, andfuck me, that look got me every time.
“I shouldn’t like hearing that as much as I do,” she admitted.
