It was like a record scratched everything to a halt, and I was thrown out of my fantasies of kissing my way along the side of her neck to her shoulder where I’d bite gently.
“Why?” I asked, clearing my throat and turning away.
She sighed and picked up her small handbag by the bed and rifled through it. “I just think it would help me understand you better and maybe find ways to navigate the next few days with us all here.”
I considered telling her. I really did, but there was a reason I didn’t say anything back then. Was there really any point in telling her now? They were no longer together. They hadn’t been for about ten years.
“Flynn?” Ara prompted, her voice closer than before.
I shook my head and let out a cleansing breath. “There’s nothing to tell. It’s not relevant anymore.”
“You’re not going to tell me?”
I shook my head. “There’s no point in dredging up ancient history, and I’ve already promised you I’ll be on my best behavior from here on out.”
She frowned, obviously not through with asking questions. “Did it have something to do with your dyslexia?”
I blinked in surprise at her and she gave me an apologetic look. “I overheard an argument once between Trevor and Ellis when we were kids. He was telling Ellis off for teasing you about it.”
My lips quirked upwards, and I shook my head. I’d kept that secret from almost everyone in my life. I’d been determined to overcome it, to work with the doctors to find ways around it. I managed it enough to pass the aptitude test required to be let into the Army, so it wasn’t worth bringing up to anyone else.
“No, although I’m sure that contributed to my dislike of my cousin. I’ve had a lot of help with my dyslexia, so it’s still a problem but not what it used to be. Ellis liked to find any flaw of mine to bring to light and reveal to others.”
“I noticed that,” Ara said softly with a grimace. “So, you really won’t tell me?”
I leaned back against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest and studied her. “Will you tell me why you and Ellis broke up?”
She hesitated and backed up until she sat on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t love him.”
I nodded slowly. “I know that.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You do?”
“Yeah,” I said and shrugged. “You felt obligated to date him. Like you said at that party before I left, everyone was always telling the two of you that you’d be good together, that you were meant to be. You cared for him as a friend, and maybe you hoped you’dfall in love with him in time. I know I wasn’t there to see it, but I never got the sense that you were in love with him.”
She gave me a half-hearted smile. “I felt awful for breaking up with him, but it seemed worse to stay with him when I didn’t feel that for him.”
I searched her face, looking for signs of any other reason for their breakup. Her eyes were averted, her head tilted down, so it was hard for me to tell. How likely would it be that she’d tell me if there was another reason anyway?
“So, will you tell me now?” she asked, looking back at me expectantly.
I hesitated, but after a moment I forced a grin and shook my head. “It’s not one thing in particular. We already had a shaky relationship when I came to live with them, and I think he resented sharing his space, sharing his parents. Then it was just little things that built up over time.”
She studied me with knowing gray eyes. “And what happened after your first deployment? You guys got into a pretty big fight. According to Ellis, you attacked him. You didn’t hang around long enough for me to get your side.”
The opportunity was there for me to tell her now. She was asking, and since a good part of the reason included her, she had some right to know. But what good would it do her to dredge up old things, especially on the weekend of her best friend’s wedding? A woman who was now marrying Ellis?
“Same shit, different day. Only this time I was still raw from where I’d been and didn’t take the time to ease myself back into normal civilian life. It’s not worth talking about,” I decided and pushed away from the wall. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the whole story, either.
She sighed as I searched through my bag for my cap, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Thankfully, she let it drop.
We were in the elevator twenty minutes later, and Iwondered how today would go. Would Kate keep her word and help us keep our secret? I’d be lying if I said everything she said last night hadn’t been playing in a loop in my head. She seemed to think that Chiara and I were meant for one another, and she’d picked up on our chemistry. It was true, our energy with each other was more than anything I’d experienced with someone else, so I knew we had something.
But it couldn’t go anywhere, could it?
I was itching to get outside and do something active. Skipping my morning run had left me feeling a little off-kilter, or maybe that was the woman I’d woken up with wrapped around me. Probably both.
Another flash of memory, the way it felt to have her beneath me, the taste of her kiss, the feel of her lips…
