Chapter 16
Sadie
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The sound of steady beeping is all I’m able to comprehend as I slowly wake up. Blinking my eyes open, I stare up at a white ceiling. Without even looking around, I know exactly where I am.
I’ve been here before. For this exact reason.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to hold back the tears welling in them. My head is pounding, and my throat is raw, sore from puking until I literally passed out.
I’m so stupid. How could I let things get this bad again? I was doing so damn good. I shouldn’t have let Tina get to me; it only lets her win.
But it wasn’t just her. It was everything. There's only so long that I can shove all the stress of the world away and act like it’s not as big of a deal as it really is.
I just wanted things to be good so badly that I refused to accept that life isn’t easy.
I just wanted to be happy. To be with my guys without the world trying to bring us down.
Taking a deep breath, I blink my eyes open again and this time, I allow myself to look around.
A sob bubbles in my throat, and I have to swallow it down, careful not to wake the men around me.
All four of them are here. Of course, they are. I wouldn’t expect anything else.
Guilt consumes me. I’ve hurt them, caused them worry and pain they didn’t deserve.
Preston is the one closest to me, his head leaning against his arm as he sleeps. It’s only when my eyes land on where my hands are entwined that I see he’s holding me with an almost painful grip.
Fuck. He must have lost his mind when he found out. How could I do this to him again? Grayson is on my other side, leaning back in the hard wooden chair, head lying against his shoulder as he sleeps.
Declan is here too, curled up into a ball near Preston in one of the chairs.
“You're awake.” Collin’s voice startles me. I thought he was sleeping too. He stands up from where he was sitting on the windowsill.
He looks tired, with dark circles under his eyes and his hair a mess like he’s been running his hand through it.
“I’m sorry,” is all I’m able to rasp out, my lower lip wobbly.
“Shhh.” He rushes over to me. “Sunshine, you have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I do.” A sob slips free, and the others wake up. “I lied and kept things from you all after we promised not to keep secrets. I betrayed your trust. This is my fault.”
“Sadie.” Preston is getting to his feet, pushing his brother out of the way so he can cup my face. His normally stony expression is filled with anguish. “Fuck, baby, you scared me.”
“I’m sorry.” I blink, tears spilling down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”
Preston leans in, kissing me again and again like he thinks if he stops, he won’t ever get the chance to do it again. “I thought I lost you.” He presses his forehead against mine, voice cracking. “Seeing you like that again, lying on the ground, I’ve never felt fear like that before.” He pulls back, more anger in his features now. “You can’t do that shit, Sadie. I can’t lose you. I just fucking can’t. I–I...”
“You won’t lose me.” I place my hand over his. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for scaring you. For scaring all of you.”
“Why?” Declan’s soft voice asks. He’s sitting on my bed, down by my feet. “Why keep— what are you keeping from us? What is this? What caused this?”
“Sadie,” Collin interrupts. “You need to tell them.”
“Tell us what?” Preston snaps, swinging a glare his brother's way. “I’m so fucking sick and tired of you knowing more than we do. You might be her husband on paper, but that doesn’t give you the power to withhold information about Sadie. She’s all of ours.”
“You can be pissed off at me all you want, but the fact is, I’ve been in Sadie’s life a lot longer than any of you. I’m closer to her in ways you weren't, and I’m not going to be made to feel bad about that. While you three decided to put your feelings towards her aside years ago, I never once gave up on her. I kept tabs on her, I made sure she was safe and happy, the best I could. So yes, I know things about her that none of you do. And no, I didn’t tell you any of it because it’s not my place to do so. This is Sadie’s life; she has the right to choose who knows and when information comes out.” He looks at me. “I mean that. It’s your life. Your choice. But I do believe that if this is going to work between us, the dynamic you want, they need to know.”
