I’d literally talked to my grandfather on the phone after taking an exam while in medical school and then caught a plane home and never looked back. I withdrew from school and started my life that day.
One that I was proud of.
“Fuck. I’ll never hear the end of it from Dad.”
“Who gives a shit? He’s not a good guy, Samuel. I don’t know why the fuck we wanted his approval so badly. Maybe because he was a verbally abusive dickhead when we were growing up, and he made us feel like we needed it to be successful.”
“Goddamn, brother. That is some good money spent on therapy right there.”
“It sure is. Listen to me. I know how much you love Brianna, and it sounds like she’s at the end of her rope. Not coming to Mom and Dad’s party was a statement. You need to take her seriously.”
“I know. I’m working on it. And you know how she is. She broke down last night and said she doesn’t want to change me, but she can’t keep living this way either. I just need some time to figure out how to do this. I’m going to finish this rotation and really think about it.” He cleared his throat.
“Don’t waste your life thinking. Trust your gut, okay?”
“Yeah. I wish I had your gut sometimes. I’ve never been as sure about things as you are.”
“You’re sure about the shit that matters. Trust yourself.”
“All right. I can do that. But back to more pressing issues. Why isn’t Montana speaking to you?”
“Hmm ... great question. I said something about marriage in general being a joke, and seeing as it’s her livelihood, she got offended. I tried to fix it by telling her that I understand why she wants to be a wedding planner, because come on, there’s a shit ton of money in this business. Everyone wants to throw a big party and celebrate some bullshit fairy tale, which will inevitably implode. But kudos to her for cashing in.”
“Good Christ, asshole. Did you seriously say that to her?”
“Oh, I forgot that I’m talking to a guy who wants to get married.” I chuckled. “You and Brianna would be the exception. But statistically speaking, the success rate isn’t super impressive.”
“Damn. We’re so fucked up.” He sighed. “I’ve been dating a girl for more than a decade and I haven’t proposed, even though I know she’s my person. I love her so fucking much, and I’m messing it up because I’m terrified of ending up like our parents. And you can’t seem to hold a relationship for more than a hot second, although you’ve been awfully clingy to Montana, and don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“Is there a point here?”
“What the fuck are we doing, Myles? We have everything we could want as far as stuff goes. Big homes and private planes and Grandpa’syacht. But all we do is work. We aren’t really living. We’re just putting on a show. So, in the end, we aren’t really any different than Mom and Dad. We’re going through the motions.”
His words hit me hard, but I shook them off. “That’s a bunch of bullshit. We aren’t pretending to play house. We aren’t fucking up innocent children.”
“But what if we could have it all, Myles? An actual healthy relationship and a family where our kids actually like us?”
I laughed. “You really are in a deep self-reflection phase, aren’t you?”
“Brianna left me.”
I startled at his words. “What? When?”
“Right after the anniversary party. She said she was done waiting for me to figure out what was important in life. And she’s right, you know?”
“Holy shit. Are you still living together?”
“She moved out. She’s staying with her sister.”
“Fuck. You should have led with this.”
“I guess I didn’t even want to say the words aloud. I’m still processing it. And do you know what I’ve concluded?”
“What?” I knew how much he must be hurting, and he’d waited all this time to tell me.
“Dad may have affected our lives up until now—but we’re adults. We can do whatever the fuck we want to do now. We don’t need his approval. We don’t need to please anyone else. So what the fuck are we doing?”
“Sounds like you’ve already made your decision about work,” I said.
