Bear grimaced, acknowledging the truth in Joy’s words. “It seemed like the right choice at the time.”
And maybe it had been, but the problem was, he was still making the same choice a couple years later.
“Does it hurt?” she asked softly.
“Not anymore.” He shook his head, moonlight glinting off his dark hair. “And honestly, even when it happened, it damaged my nerve endings to the point where the pain was manageable. And like I said, I was one of the lucky ones. Even my rehab wasn’t that bad, comparatively.”
Joy didn’t want to fight with him, but she could feel her teeth grinding. If the roles were reversed and she were the one keeping all this a secret from everyone, Bear wouldn’t stand for it.
“I still think you shouldn’t keep your wounds a secret.”
His jaw flexed, but before she could press further, he spoke again, voice lower now. “Yeah, well, believe it or not, the scars aren’t really my biggest issue.”
She stilled, something in his tone making her heart race. “What do you mean?”
He exhaled through his nose, eyes flickering toward the steaming water before going back to her. “The explosion messed with my hearing. Tinnitus. Constant ringing in my ears ever since.”
Joy felt her stomach twist. All this time, all these years, and she’d never known. “All the time?”
“Not all the time,” he admitted, his voice almost too casual. “But it can be pretty problematic.”
Her throat tightened. “And let me guess, you haven’t told anyone about that either. You just carry it all on your own?”
He didn’t answer, his silence confirmation enough.
Frustration and something deeper—hurt—rippled through her. “Bear, you take care of everyone else. But you won’t let anyone take care of you.”
He looked at her then, something raw flickering behind his eyes. “They don’t need to.”
Joy huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, goose bumps rising on her bare skin in the cold night air. “Yes, they do. Because you’re not some unbreakable machine. You’re human, and you deserve the same support you give.”
The same support he’d given her over the past few weeks when she couldn’t even sleep in her own house.
But he just looked away, jaw tight, the stubborn set of his shoulders too familiar.
Joy softened, stepping closer, laying a hand over his heart. She could feel it beating strong and steady beneath her palm. He’d been so patient with her through everything. She needed to be the same with him.
“Please, just think about telling your family, okay? If you tell them now, they’ll be upset that you didn’t let them know when it first happened, but they’ll understand. But letting them find out about it randomly at some point in the future? That will feel unnecessarily cruel.”
He ran a hand through his hair, considering her words. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”
That was enough—for now.
She squeezed his hand. “C’mon, I’m freezing,” she murmured, her lips grazing his. “We’ve got this beautiful spring. Let’s get warm.”
She forced herself not to look at the scars as they lowered themselves into the steaming water, both letting out sighs of bliss as the heat enveloped them. The tension of the moment dissolved in the mineral-rich water, replaced by a comfortable silence.
“Did you build the cabin because of the spring?” Joy asked when she was soaked up to her neck, leaning back against the naturally smooth walls of the spring.
“I wanted the proximity to the river first and foremost for plumbing for the cabin, but I was actually thinking of a spot a little farther upriver until I found this thing.” He laid his head back against the edge of the pool, his features relaxed in a way she rarely saw.
“Can’t blame you for that.” She closed her eyes, letting the warmth seep into her bones, washing away the last of her tension.
She was just beginning to drift in peaceful contentment when she let out a startled squeal. In one smooth motion, Bear had reached across the spring, wrapping a strong arm around her waist and pulling her against his hard body.
As their skin connected beneath the water, Joy knew with absolute certainty—this was exactly where she wanted to be.
Chapter18
