They fought to get to their feet. Roman, who was the bigger of the two, was slower. He stumbled, and nearly crossed the painted line, but then righted himself. His skirts now hung heavily on the one side from laying in piss and the heel of one boot was broken, making him hop instead of walk.
They started wrestling again without a prompt from Jason. We watched them in silence for a few minutes before Jason said, “You’re crueler than I thought you were, Hols. Maybe you don’t care about him, after all, if you’re willing to so easily let him die. He must be a great fuck. Tell me, is it the size or does he just know how to use it? Maybe I’ll have a round with him before I gut him.”
I made myself breathe through the cruel words. Getting angry at Jason solved nothing. But fuck, it was hard. My very soul screamed at me to do everything to protect Master Mal—even go up against Jason.
If it came to a fight, I wouldn’t win. I didn’t want it to. I would do everything in my power to keep it from turning physical.What scared me more was realizing I would still fight, even knowing I would lose. I would stand between Jason and Master Mal.
But I couldn’t let it come to that. Couldn’t! I knew where I would stand, but I still could not allow it to transpire.
There had to be something I could give him.
I came around to stand in front of him. Not wanting to block his performance, I sat by the cooler where he had his feet up, leaning one arm on the white plastic lid.
“Jason, I know you don’t like me seeing Master Mal. I know you think it jeopardizes what we’re doing here. But Iswear, it won’t. I need this. I needhim. I have finally found what I have been looking for in a Dom. He’s patient and understanding and hecaresfor me.”
“Don’t be so fucking delusional, Hols. He cares for the person hethinksyou are.”
I winced. “Maybe, and maybe it’s not my happily-ever-after, but it’s what I need, Jason. After everything I’ve been through, don’t I deserve that?”
He was silent for a long time, just staring at his unwilling wrestling contenders. “I’m not okay with this, Hols. You’re risking everything, includingme, for this guy.”
I licked my lips. “I can’t let you kill him.” It broke my heart to say, but I had to be honest. “If it comes to it, we leave.”
He looked down at me, raising an eyebrow. “You would leave him?”
I gave him my best Jason-smile. “Never said I’d leave him. Just that we’d leave…with,” I added, “him.”
Jason snorted. “There’s my Hols.” He turned his attention back to the fight. “You’re still risking your vengeance to be with him. I know you care about him, I can’t deny that, but maybe it’s better to end him now before you get too attached. If it’s painful, it’ll be less painful now than later.”
I looked over my shoulder at the wrestling pair. One had raped me while the other stood by and watched. I truly could care less their reasons for what they had done. I’d vowed they would die by my hands—and they would.
But…maybe…
I looked back at Jason. The man was naked and very clearly aroused by the show he’d put on for himself. I knew he had…specific tastes when it came to men. He wasn’t big on labels, though I still thought of him as bisexual. Maybe…
No, it was ridiculous. He’d never go for it.But, what if he did?
CouldIdo it? I didn’t care what became of my victims. My plan was to kill them all by their worst fears… My eyes landed on Roman and Jerald. Could I? After everything that had been done to me, could I really give another human being unwillingly to Jason?Knowingwhat would happen to him?
Jason claimed over and over again that what he did to men was not rape. He was not into gay guys. He was not turned on by the male form.Buthe loved submission through humiliation. He needed the man he was with tohatehimself for letting Jason do…whatever it was Jason wanted to do to him in that moment.
I knew he was sexually aroused by women. I’d seen him at the club with some of the pain sluts. But more than once I’d heard him complain about how fragile women were, how muchmoremen could take.
I didn’t care which one, Jerald or Roman. The choice would be his, though it would be more poetic towards my cause if it was Homophobic Roman.
A life for a life, in a twisted sense.
“Jason.” I waited for him to look at me before I made my offer. “What if I gave you one of them?”
His feet came down so hard they made an echoingslapon the concrete floor, but he did not flinch. “What do you mean?”
“Imean, I’ll spare one of their lives, give him to you to do with what you will,ifyou spare Master Mal’s life.”
I could see the eagerness in his eyes. It wasn’t quite right, though. A warped and evil sort of anticipation. And I knew that I had him.
Jason stood up. He pressed the buzzer again, but quickly this time. Both Roman and Jerald jumped. Roman had taken Jerald down to the floor, but had been struggling to pin him.
“Get up,” Jason ordered. “Kneel!”
