I’d been grateful to Master Kade for being there for her, for protecting her when I hadn’t been in her life yet to do so myself. Straightening, I spat several times to clean out my mouth before wiping the sleeve of my jacket along my lips and bearded chin.
Fuck, I really was a dumbass. Master Kade had found my little owl; JasonKadeer had found Holly Marteen. I wanted to punch something, or maybe was just avoiding slapping my own palm against my forehead. I’d spoken to Jason Kadeer over video call weeks ago. The man wassupposedto be on the east coast. I didn’t know if the old man I’d spoken to had been Master Kade in a disguise or if someone else had played the part of Jason Kadeer, but there was no doubt in my mind the two men were one in the same.
Jason Kadeer had found Holly after her attack. A year later, she attempted suicide and had ended up in the Alaskan State Hospital. God, what she must have suffered through. And her miscarriage! She’d been fuckingfifteen years old.
I couldn’t fault her for her actions now. I didn’t blame her. In a perfect world, her attack would have never happened. But that utopian society didn’t exist. Failing that, her attackers should have been brought to justice fifteen years ago. It was horrid what she’d gone through, but to compound it with how utterly she’d been failed by her parents, her principal, her town,andthe police?
No, I couldn’t condemn her.
It was her manipulation of me that I couldn’t forgive. It sounded so lame, and I fuckinghatedmyself for the hurt coursing through me, but I’d been ready to give everything to her. To move her into my house, to build her an art studio—which I was suddenly wondering if it even existed and her ‘art studio’ was actually whatever torture chamber she used on her victims—and give her my Collar.
I’d been fuckingin love with her, and I didn’t say those words lightly because I’d never felt them before, still had yet to speak them out loud.
I’d like to say that she should have come clean with me, that she should have told me from the beginning who she wasand what she wanted, but that was just stupid. Of course, she wouldn’t. Why would she? What option did she have but to worm her way into my life to keep tabs on me? She likely hadn’t meant for me to fall in love with her, but I wondered if she cared now that I had.
Not bothering to notify anyone of the mess I’d made in the hallway, I hurried down the rest of the way to Sheriff Renfrew’s room.
But I was too late. He was dead in his bed and his son’s decapitated head was placed like a trophy on the table above him. A projection of Emmet Renfrew’s murder played on the wall, and I watched as Holly, as my little owl, let the rope drop that separated Emmet’s head from his body.
There was no joy on her face. Not even satisfaction as Emmet’s head landed in a fucking picnic basket with a blue and white checkered lining. If anything, she looked…resigned.
I spotted the open window and knew I’d just missed her. She’d be going after the principal now. He was the last one. He might not have raped her, but he’d no less violated her. She would get her revenge.
I was off the case, and I had no idea where the principal was now. Had he been taken into police custody? The last four we’d placed in a safe house hadn’t been secure; I doubted the weasel of a principal was now, too. My anger spiked again when I now realized how the Atelihai Killer had discovered where the safe house was.
I was turning back towards the door to leave when I paused. No, that was inaccurate. My little owl hadn’t asked me about the safe house and I hadn’t told her. I hadn’t even been near her when I’d chosen the location. I never spoke about work to her and she never asked. Then how…? I shook my head, trying to clear it. How had she known? Had she broken into my home computer? I didn’t think so. As far as I knew, the first time she’dever been in my office had been when she’d blown me during my phone call with Dr. Robinson. And even then, I’d been sure to speak in vague phrases because I hadn’t wanted to speak about work in front of her.
My little owl hadn’t… No, that didn’t make sense. Shewasn’tgetting information from me. I was so careful to keep my work life and my sex life separate. So then how had she known? For that matter, how had she knownIwould be assigned to her case? Even I hadn’t known that because local police wouldn’t have called the FBI. They’d happened to call the State Police and the State Police had then called us. She couldn’t have known that. Nor could she have known that Christopher Wise’s file would end up on my desk.
Hell, there was no way that she could have planted herself atSnow Chainsthe night I first fucked her becauseIhadn’t even known I was going there until a couple of hours prior to me closing a previous case.
But she had to have realized who I was eventually, right? Even if it wasn’t that first time? It couldn’t be a coincidence, could it? Maybe that first time I fucked her, but not afterwards. She had to have come after me again to learn what I knew about her case.
Except…shehadn’t chased me.Ihad chased her. Like a fucking lovesick puppy.
Christ, I couldn’t get my thoughts straight. Bottom line was that I needed to find her. I might not know where she was now, but I knew where she was going. I needed to find Principal Hagley.
I didn’t know what I was going to do once I caught up to her, but I knew one thing for sure: I wasn’t done with my little owl.
Chapter Seventy-Two
Holly
Jasonand I took turns driving, but honestly he drove the most. I was exhausted. For years, I’d dreamed of getting my revenge. I’d plotted, I’d trained. Everything leading up to right here and now…and yet, I’d always assumed I’d be enjoying it. Not the death, per se, though there no doubt was a twisted satisfaction inside my soul as each person paid the price for their actions, but a sense of relief. Like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. The taste of long-awaited freedom and the ability to finally lay my past to rest.
I felt none of it though. I didn’t even feel like I’d accomplished anything.
Jason was trying to convince me that we should move abroad, but somewhere more southern. He was done with snow. I had to admit, I liked the idea of a tropical atmosphere. I could use some warmth in my life right now.
I’d shed more than one tear for having to leave my owl mask behind. At a gas station two nights ago, Jason had offered to kidnap a trucker for me to “fuck the cop” out of my system. I’d declined, but I appreciated the sentiment. Coming from Jason, the gesture really was sweet. It was his version of offering me chocolate.
We kept Roman, or Ro-Ro, in the trunk of the car the entire time, except at the border crossings. Jason had procured an ID for Roman that stated he was not only female but also an organ donor. I don’t know why that last detail was the one thing that brought a little amusement to my currently dull existence, but it did.
I wasn’t nervous at either of the border crossings. Whatever Jason had done to Roman had truly broken the once-proud jock. There were some things I did not want to or need to know, but damn I was curious. In a matter of weeks, Jason had somehow brainwashed Roman into being so loyal to Jason that he’d behaved and acted completely normal at the border crossings, despite wearing a long wig, makeup, a dress, and talking in a feminine voice.
It was messed up, but also impressive.
Per Jason, Ro-Ro had enough food, water, and dildos to keepherself occupied during the journey. There’d also been something about a litter box that I did not ask questions about. I couldn’t find it in me to feel sorry for Roman either. He was alive, which was a step up from where he would have been if he remained with me.
