“Not always.”
“Always.” She almost bared her teeth to him and then decided to play nice. “I always get what I want.”
She watched as he pulled his chin back at her words. Defensively? Conceding her point? Withdrawing from the argument? She wasn’t sure.
And then, as if he was rethinking his previous gesture, he leaned in. Closer than she expected. His breath was so warm against her throat that when she swallowed she was quite sure the lump had to pass through his breath. He leaned in so closelyin fact, that out of the corner of her eye Mimi saw Chris and Nobi discreetly lean in toward her as well. Ostensibly vying to hear what the man was about to say. She wasn’t sure yet if she wanted them to hear it.
“Be careful with what you want, Mimi. You might just get it.” Mimi clenched her thighs together for the second time in his presence. Her heart flopped around in her ribcage like a fish just pulled out of the water.
If she were always careful, that would have been the perfect rejoinder, but Mimi was not. So the next best reply was what flew out of her mouth in what she hoped was a steady stream but actually ended up just a touch more breathless than she would have wanted. “I’m not worried. I always know exactly what I want.” And as she said those words, as true as they had been for the entirety of her life up until this point in time…she couldn’t help notice the slight hiccup—the hesitation—in her breath.
She had always known exactly what she wanted. She knew what she wanted out of life, love, relationships. All of it. She knew what she wanted, and it was the fantasy. The fantasy. Her fantasies. Any of them. All of them. She wanted to be swept away. She wanted to nearly drown in her emotions, be carried away in the arms of a no-nonsense muscular man. A rogue. A rake. The one who would fall to his knees for her. She would be his world. He would die for her. If need be. She wanted fate to point out this man with the clarity of a diamond. With such reassurance, she would fight for her fantasy until her last breath.
And that’s why she knew, shereallydid know, that Roger was that man. Fate had pointed him out. It had been one of the clearest signs she had ever interpreted in her life. They had literally been reaching for the same goals in life. And he wouldn’t back down simply because she wanted the same thing. He knew what he wanted and he went after it. She was the same way. Fate had shown her that and she wouldn’t let it go. The small issueof Roger being a little slow to the game was not really an issue. Time would fix that issue. She just knew it. She believed it with her whole beating heart.
The same heart that was currently transfixed in a rhythm that would not relent.
Chapter Ten
The archery activitieswere about to start, and Mimi felt giddy at the prospect. This she was good at. And despite the conflicting advice she was receiving, she just knew in her heart that if she could show Roger her full self that he would accept her. And more. Fate had aligned the stars and shown her the brightest one. She just needed to stay the course.
This was no time to show fear, not that she ever did. She was fearless. Almost. There was only one thing she was afraid of—but, no, that rarely came up. She was always careful on that front. And her sister knew how to step in during those moments. They happened so infrequently that she had forgotten the last time one of her siblings had had to interfere on her behalf.
Mimi eyed the target. Casually, she let her eyes wander to Roger. Since her last dress hadn’t caught his attention, she determined that perhaps that the man simply didn’t have a proclivity to fashion-minded women. That wasn’t a problem. Fashion wasn’t a priority for her anyway. Roger was surveying the targets as well, and then his focus shifted to his equipment. His bow and arrows, that is. He was fastidiously checking the arrows, rubbing his fingers across each tip. It reminded her that she needed to check her bow soon, as well.
Roger walked toward her, and she wanted to clap. Perhaps he was already starting to see her differently.
“Sam,” he tipped his head, gesturing toward the targets, “Are you ready for this?”
“Surprised you even have to ask,” Sam chuckled. “I could hit these bullseyes blindfolded.”
Mimi coughed, and Sam sent her a curious look. A knowing look. A look that made her want to laugh, rather than expose him.
Roger replied, “I’m sure you could—”
A sound wrenched the air, “Woof!”
Within a split second, Mimi saw black. Her feet grew roots. Her hands were submerged in pools of sweat. Her heart rattled inside of her, unsure of its place, and her thoughts scattered. They were running for the hills, exactly what she should be doing but couldn’t.
There was nothing. But there was chaos. She could hear voices but the people around her were a blur. Where there had been trees, she only saw green blobs. Where there had been grass, she saw clumps of color. Not that she was even trying to look at the nature surrounding her. No, her sensations were dulled, yet somehow altogether heightened at the same time.
The hairs on her neck were standing to attention based on something she couldn’t see. It was all reminiscent of a scene that she had tried to forget. In her everyday life, she had nearly forgotten it. But one sound. One small, yet petrifying sound reduced her to a weak little girl. If she had the emotional capacity for resentment in this instant, she would resent without any constraints, how fragile she felt. She was not fragile. But this…this feeling…caused by that one horrendous sound…she was exposed. Defenseless. Her body was already betraying her leaving her susceptible to another attack.
“Mimi?” That was Sam’s voice, and it sounded laced with concern. A warm hand was on her forearm. “Are you all right?”
She couldn’t answer him. She wanted to, but her tongue wouldn’t cooperate with her. Never mind her tongue, her mind was working on repairing the damage of the explosion thathad gone off in her brain. Pieces of memories were strewn about. Visions of things that had never happened to her were intermingled. There were truths and there were falsehoods, but given an entire army to clean up this mess, it would still take her days to sift through and identify reality.
All she could see was a large, black dog barreling toward her. Terror would be putting it mildly. Her mind saw the dog but remembered another time and place. A large gray dog, snarling, baring its teeth. Lunging at her, plunging its teeth into her arm. A shriek.
Back in the blurry present, she heard Roger speak. “It’s just a friendly dog.”
Friendly?That’s what the last owner had said. Mimi tried to open her eyes. Weren’t they already open? She turned her head looking for Nobi. Nobi would know how to protect her. She knew what to do and how to guard her. It was irrational. She knew it. She knew it because she didn’t know this dog, but it made her think of the other dog. And those words,he’s friendly, they didn’t reassure her. Not one bit. She had heard those words before but they weren’t true. Nothing was true right now.
But her eyes watched as Roger casually stood at her side. Surely he would protect her. He would see her fear and do something. The dog was fast approaching, and she could feel tears yanking on her eyes, running toward her piping heart, but she couldn’t move. Still couldn’t speak. And then the oddest thing happened, Roger laughed. Not at her. She didn’t think. But at the dog. It wasn’t funny. Nothing was funny about this. Her throat was closing up, she couldn’t breathe.
“What a good pup.” Roger reached out his hand to pet the dog. The dog jumped up and Mimi shrieked. Her fists were clenched. But that was her last fully conscious thought, if that thought was even conscious. She couldn’t determine.
Blackness.
