“And if I said I needed more time? If I asked you to wait until I figured out how to explain this to him?”
“Then I’d ask how much time you think you need.” I reach for the door handle. “But I won’t wait indefinitely, Danielle. He’s my son, and I’ve already missed too much.”
She nods slowly. “Thank you for tonight and for being patient with me. Us.”
“Thank you for letting me stay.”
I drive back to the estate with Leo’s drawing on the passenger seat beside me, thinking about the evening we just shared. The domestic routine felt natural in ways I never expected, and Leo’s easy acceptance of my presence suggests this transition might be smoother than I anticipated.
The question of Danielle’s pregnancy lingers in my mind but pushing her for answers tonight would have destroyed the progress we made. She needs to trust I can be part of their lives without disrupting everything she’s built, and that trust has to be earned gradually.
Tonight was about discovering being a father might be the most important thing I’ve ever done, and that the family I never knew I wanted is worth whatever it takes to protect my child. Both of my children, if my suspicions about her pregnancy are correct.
All three of them, if she’ll let me. I want Danielle as much as I want the kids, though my feelings for her are definitely different. I want it all. Fatherhood, being a husband, and having her trust and love, along with bedtime stories and messy pasta dinners.
Luca suddenly creeps into thoughts at the back of my mind, reminding me why I can’t take those things for granted. I have to keep them safe if they’re part of my world, and I can’t imagine living without them now that I know how it could be.
21
Danielle
Sunday afternoon arrives with perfect weather that makes staying indoors feel criminal. I meet Carmen at Morrison Park while Leo runs toward the playground equipment with his usual energy. She’s brought tea for both of us and settles onto the bench beside me with comfortable familiarity.
“You look tired,” she says, studying my face with careful attention. “How did your appointment at the clinic go Friday?”
“Fine.” I sip the tea before blurting, “He knows about Leo.” I watch my son climb the jungle gym with fearless confidence. “He told me so.”
Carmen nods slowly, as if she’s been expecting this news. “How did he approach it? Was he angry?”
“Surprisingly gentle, actually.” I take another sip. “He took us to dinner and just...spent time with Leo. He asked questions, listened to his stories, and treated him like he mattered.”
“And that scares you more than if he’d been demanding?”
The perceptiveness in her question makes me pause. Radmir’s patience and genuine interest in Leo makes it harder to maintain my conviction that he’s dangerous for my son. In a strange way, it would have been easier if he’d shown up with lawyers and custody demands.
“He came over last night too, bringing dinner and reading Leo a bedtime story.” I press my hand briefly to my stomach, where the baby is growing larger each day. “Leo drew him a picture and he asked if he could keep it. Radmir acted like it was the most precious thing he’d ever been given.”
“Maybe it was.” Carmen shifts to face me more directly. “Danielle, you can’t keep running from this. The tension of hiding everything is eating you alive, and now that he knows about Leo, what’s the point of keeping the pregnancy secret?”
The question I’ve been avoiding lands with uncomfortable accuracy. Why am I still hiding the baby when the primary secret is already out? The answer feels complicated and tangled with fears I don’t know how to articulate.
“His world isn’t safe, Carmen. You saw what happened with that man breaking into the estate. If I tell him about the baby, if I let him deeper into our lives, I’m putting both children at risk.”
“You were already working at his estate before you knew it was dangerous.” She takes my hand gently. “You recognized him from that night four years ago, and you still chose to keep the job. If you’d planned to tell him about Leo then, why not tell him about the baby now?”
“I didn’t plan to tell him, if you remember.”
She shrugs. “I think staying was always a tacit agreement in the back of your mind. You accepted you’d have to tell him eventually, didn’t you?”
I want to argue with her logic, but I can’t find solid ground to stand on. The truth is more complicated than safety concerns, though those are real and valid. Part of me is terrified of how much I want what I glimpsed last night, of family dinners and bedtime stories and someone who thinks Leo’s crayon drawings are masterpieces. Of a partner, so I’m not doing it all alone.
“I’m scared,” I say quietly. “Not just of the danger, but of hoping for something that might not work out. Leo’s already getting attached to him. What if Radmir decides we’re too much trouble? What if his enemies target us anyway? What if I let myself believe we could be a family and then lose everything?”
She pats my hand. “What if you don’t give it a chance and spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been?”
Before I can respond, Leo calls out from the top of the slide. “Mama, watch me go down backwards.”
“Be careful, sweetheart,” I call back, my attention split between his daredevil antics and the conversation that’s making my chest feel tight.
