Watching him, my heart is heavy, because I’m not naive. I’m fully aware that last night was just a heated, random thing that happened by accident and doesn’t mean anything.
Yes, it meant something to me.
Stupidly.
Because I’m losing control of my heart.
But it didn’t mean anything to Andrei. He’s a guy, of course, he would jump at the chance to have sex. That’s what guys do.
Holy shit, it was so fucking incredible, though. I can’t believe it. I never imagined it would be that good. Every movement, we felt so connected to each other, as though we were thinking the same things. He took control of me and did things to me that I didn’t even know were possible. Just thinking about it all makes my legs go weak.
“Yes, I knew there were chocolate ones in here somewhere.” He stands up, triumphantly holding a box of Oreos. “Do you like these?” he asks, smiling at me.
“I do.” Keeping my answers short stops my voice from shaking.
I don’t want to leave here.
I don’t want to go back.
And deep in the pit of my stomach, there is an aching throb of fear. Van tried to kill me. He almost succeeded.
I have no idea why, or if he will try again.
Shaking my head, I push away the nagging thought about Boris. I refuse to believe that my brother had anything to do with it. Andrei clearly thinks otherwise, but he doesn’t know Boris like I do.He’s my family. I’ve never done anything to him to make him angry with me.
It wouldn’t make sense for him to hate me enough to want to hurt me.
“Hey, are you okay?” Andrei’s words are gentle as he brushes the back of his fingers over my cheek. I force a tight smile onto my face and nod.
“It was just—last night—I don’t—" Sighing in frustration, I stop talking. I don’t know what to say to explain the way I feel.
He pulls me into a hug, and I hold my coffee to the side to stop it from spilling.
“We’ll find out what was going on with Van. And at the mansion, you’ll be safe. We just need to be alert on the way there. I’ve already contacted the security team and told them what happened and to increase efforts around the perimeter. It’s going to be okay, Tia.”
He only started calling me Tia last night.
Before that, it was always my full name.
The smile that touches my lips this time is full and happy. I wish he felt the same way for me that I do about him.
I wish I weren’t just a tool for him.
And I still have no idea what he wants from me, in the end.
Stepping away from him, I push the stupid, immature thoughts from my mind.
It was just sex.
Nothing more than that.
I’ve probably got such intense emotions about it because it was my first time.
Andrei finds me a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt to wear, and we close up the cabin and climb into the car to head back to the mansion.
Every now and then, he glances at me, and once he even brushes his hand over my leg. I can’t figure out what he wants, though, so I stay quiet.
Last night we had a bad experience, and we were both flooded with emotions—what happened between us was like trauma release.
