A sigh, then, “I’m just thinking about my family.”
About time.He’d been dying to bring up the topic of her father but had worried she’d shut him out.“What about your family?”
“I told Ricky to take the money to the Armenians.”She didn’t sound so confident.
“Are you worried he won’t do it?”
“He’ll want to.”
Silence followed.Worried that she didn’t want to talk anymore, he turned on the headboard light.When she continued to stay silent, he lifted her chin and studied her face.She was worried.
“But?”
“My father won’t let him.He and Cian, even Uncle Rowan, never stand up to Dad.”
“Even if your life is in danger?”
Her lips pinched, eyebrows slanting down.He stroked her cheek until her face relaxed.“I don’t know if they’ll see it that way.”She placed her elbow on the bed and rested her chin on the heel of that hand, then started to draw squiggles on his chest with her other hand.His muscles trembled, but he doubted that she even noticed.Her hand paused for a moment as she threw him a glance.“You see, Dad is their boss.”
It was a no-brainer what would be important if he were given that choice.Money wasn’t everything.
“The members of my father’s family have always been public entertainers,” Jillian continued.“We have these old sepia and black and white pictures of his father and grandfather walking on tight ropes.When his father died, Dad changed things a bit and brought in bikes.He and Uncle Rowan became The Finnegan Duo.Then they had kids.All boys.My brothers and cousins started training when they were kids.They started performing with Dad and Uncle Rowan at age ten.The Finnegan Duo became The Fearless Finnegans.Before my mother married my father, they partnered with the Bay Area Circus and became the main attraction.”A smile tugged at her lips.“When we arrived in L.A., Mom took me to their performances every time they were in town.They were amazing.If you’d seen my father before his heart attack, he was magnificent on stage.”
Her eyes lit up as she talked.Now Lex understood where she’d fallen in love with stunts and why, according to Cade, she’d started performing when she hit puberty.Her father started them young.Too young in Lex’s opinion.
“Mom fell in love with him, and within three months they were married.She became his sidekick when he rode his bike on the wire.They were spectacular together, and the crowd loved them.I knew then that I wanted to be just like Mom when I grew up.”
The light in her eyes dimmed and Lex knew the next part was going to be sad, but all she said was, “Mom was a gymnast and a dancer.When we were on the road, she didn’t just teach me school stuff.She always found a local gym and volunteered while I got free lessons, until they hired her.She was well traveled and would talk about dancing with a troupe.I think before she had me, she must have been a professional dancer.”She dismissed that with a wave of her hand.“Anyway, after she married my father, she insisted I take more dance and gymnastics lessons if I wanted to join the troupe.Chris worked as Dad’s assistant, coordinating stunts and training all the performers.He started working with me.”She smiled as though remembering.“He was so gentle.I drove him crazy because I wanted so badly to be in the show.But he wouldn’t let me.He kept saying I wasn’t ready.Dad had to step in.I rode the Wall at twelve.”
Lex tried to imagine one of his nieces doing a stunt like that and felt a little sick.
“But my debut performance was The Globe of Death.We performed on weekends and in the summer.At first, Mom was scared for me, but my father saw something in me and nurtured it.Not with kind words.”She laughed and threw him another glance.“Dad is not a gentle man.He doesn’t believe in coddling.He used to say that coddling led to a false sense of security, which is suicide in stunt business.We always had to be aware that one mistake could lead to tragedy, and precision was the only thing standing between a painful death and us.He pushed, but even though he gave little praise, we could always tell when he was happy with our performance.”
Lex kept seeing images from the video clip he’d watched at Sloan’s.“Why did you leave?”
Jillian rubbed her eyes.“My mom died in a horrific accident, and for weeks I couldn’t even get on a bike.”She went quiet again.“Chris got me back on the bike, but he was never the same after Mom died.He finally left.”She shook her head.“With Mom and Chris gone, things were never the same.Not for me.But…” She sighed.“I was angry at everyone even though her death was ruled an accident.I acted out.Did crazy stunts on stage and even crazier things with my cousins.Dad told me that was it.I had to leave the troupe, go to college for some degree, and get a nice, safe job in some office.”
Lex laughed at her tone.“Don’t knock it.I happen to have an office job.”
She rolled her eyes.“Right.You do what you love, Lex.I’ve seen some of your buildings, and they’re amazing.”
“Thank you.”
“Can you imagine me in a nine-to-five job?I would have died of boredom.Luckily, Chris found out and offered me an position in his company.”
“And the rest is history,” Lex said.Thank goodness she’d left the circus craziness behind.At least in Hollywood, the studios knew better than to cut corners.A dead stuntwoman or man would cost the studio.Smaller circuses like the Bay Area Circus didn’t have that kind of cash.
“I hate Hollywood,” Jillian said, cutting into his thoughts.“I only tolerate it because I know that someday I’ll rejoin my family.”
Jillian’s words blasted Lex like a hail of stones.He sat up, forcing her to slide off his chest and sit up, too.The blanket rolled to her waist, and if his mind weren’t processing what she’d just said, he would have appreciated the glorious image she made.Instead, he imagined her handstands on a fucking bike on a wire.
Hell!He’d celebrated prematurely.
“You plan to rejoin your family?”he asked.
She nodded, dragging the covers and tucking it under her arms.“Hollywood is just not for me.I tried to like it, but I’d rather be with my family.”She rubbed her eyes.“At least, thatwasthe plan.A talk with my father.Then roll out the carpet as the prodigal daughter returned.”Her chin trembled.
Lex pushed aside his frustrations.He would share her with her crazy family if it meant wiping that look from her face.He moved closer and took her hands in his.He didn’t speak, just waited.
