Or not.
“It was what, B.?” Liza’s voice shook Brennan out of his head.
Trying to explainthatFreudian slip would only dig himself even deeper. He answered with a shake of his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter if it’s the root cause of your constant self-sabotage.” The breeze picked up a strand of her long, dark hair, and she swept it away from her solemn face. “What did you mean by that?”
Brennan eyed her warily. “I really didn’t mean anything by—”
“You literally just said you need us to look after Skye because you’re fully expecting to die in only a few days.” Her bottom lip shook. “This could be the last time we ever talk to each other.”
Her eyes were red. Unshed tears were welling up on their rims. His were starting to burn. He couldn’t even answer and looked at the steam rising off the glassy, black surface of his coffee.
“Please tell me what you meant, B.” Her voice was as shaky as her bottom lip.
For someone who didn’t know his deep, dark secret, Liza sure sounded like she knew, and he was now a deer in headlights. This was heading somewhere way too dicey, and Brennan didn’t exactly trust his oft-filter-lacking mouth, so he kept it shut.
“Skye told me and Frankie that you said there was someone else after Josephine. Who was she?”
His heart skipped about three beats, and his hand reflexively went to his chest.
He did mention it to Skye, albeit without names. But Skye was not only sharp as hell, she also had serious street smarts, and she’d probably figured it out.Fuck. Jesus fucking Christ, he was suddenly looking forward to his meeting with Vito because that secret was supposed to go to Brennan’s grave with him.
There was no way for him to answer Liza’s question that was still hanging in the humid air between them. His options were to either lie or fess up and drive an uncomfortable wedge right through the center of his friendship with both her and Connor.
Brennan refused to do either of those things and sat up taller, folded his hands on his lap, and lifted his chin aloofly like the high society asshole his father wished he was. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s neither Frankie’s nor your business.”
Liza subtly flinched at his words, and he positively hated himself.
“Understood.” She sniffled and picked up the tea, taking a careful sip. “But now it’s Skye.”
“Yeah.”
Liza set down the tea and leaned back in her chair, resting her hands on her little bump. “Does she know you love her? You told her?”
“Yes.”
“And she still wants to leave.”
Brennan slumped in his chair, setting his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his palm. “Of course she does, L. She doesn’t love me. This whole time, all she’s been trying to do is get away from here and start over. But I’m honestly not sending her to that particular program because of the distance. It’sperfect. I mean, you heard everything. You know what she…” A lump suddenly swelled in his throat, and he coughed into his fist to clear it. “The women who run this program went through almost exactly what she did, and it’s just the best place for her.” He met her eyes and locked them in place. “I love her enough to let her go so she can do what’s best for her. So she can find what makes her happy. And it’s not me. It’s not going to be me. It will never be me. Foranyone.”
Liza looked back at him for a stretch of moments. The gears in her head were turning. She was trying to figure out a plan to fix this massive steaming pile of shit that wasn’t hers to fix. Just like it wasn’t her responsibility to braid Skye’s hair in the hospital. Or to bake cookies just to make him feel better. Or to teach Skye the Superman pose that gave her the confidence to completely spill her guts. Or to care about both of them as much as she did at all.
That sort of shit was exactly why Brennan had the deep, dark secret he’d take to his grave.
Sighing quietly, Liza turned her head and stared at the beignet for a few seconds before she dipped her finger into the powdered sugar and then licked it off. He smiled all the while his heart was radiating an excruciating ache. It all threatened to set off his urge to cry at the idea that he’d never see Liza again after this moment, buthonestly. Dragging this shit out was gnawing at his heart, and he needed to just go.Que será, será. It would all be what it would be, and he’d either see Liza again or he wouldn’t.
Brennan pulled out his wallet and a spare key to his house. “If I give this stuff to Skye, she’s going to freak out, so I’m giving it to you.” He slipped an envelope containing a stack of hundreds from his wallet and set both it and the key on the table, and then stood up. “The cash is for her incidentals while she’s traveling and anything she might need once she gets there. The key is for all of you to get in and out of the house whenever you need to.”
He took a step away from the table and took a long last look at the woman who was precious to him in an unconventional way; something that was too deep and complicated for words to express and was unique only to her. If these were going to be his parting words to her, he was going to be as honest as his secret would allow. “You are my sweetest friend, L. I love you like I can’t even tell you, and I already love that baby just as much.”
Brennan only made it about two strides from the table when a pair of slender arms wrapped around his waist, and Liza hugged him from behind. Her little baby bump pressed against his back, and she was quietly crying against his shoulder blade, and all of it was absolutely excruciating.
“Don’t leave like that,” she mumbled, her mouth buried in his shirt. “Please don’t leave like that.”
His breath caught, the tears desperate to escape, and he turned around. He wrapped her in the tight hug that they’d perfected throughout this uniquely close friendship. Both his arms encircled her small shoulders while he kissed her head, and she hooked her fingers into his shirt at the small of his back, pressed her cheek against his clavicle, and she cried, and cried, and cried.
Because that’s what Liza did. She cried. She felt everything like a raw nerve after so many things in her life had stripped her down to her bare bones and tenderized her precious little heart, which sometimes seemed even bigger than her whole body. She’d cried so much in front of him that it wasn’t usually as distressing as it had been at first, but right now, her weeping was infectious. It took every ounce of restraint he had to keep at bay his urge to cry right along with her.
