“No.” Brennan chuckled sardonically. “In fact, if you were only listening to what she said, you’d probably think shehatesyou.” He shook his head. “But what Isawwas a woman broken and devastated over losing the one thing she loves more than anything else. And her anger was directed at what stole that thing from her. In her mind, both of those things are you. So, I think you owe her the truth about what happened. BecauseIthink y’all could work this shit out.”
Connor bristled so intensely that the hair on the back of his neck stood up. “I willnevertell her that.”
Brennan, huffed, shaking his head. “Well, then, you two just have a real fucking problem, don’t you?”
“I’ve got no fucking problem.” Connor pressed his index finger against his sternum. “This isn’t my problem. And she and I don’t have a problem because there’s nothing left to have a problem with.”
“Oh yeah?” Brennan lifted his brows. “So you’renotstill in love with her? All these years, you haven’t been completely impotentbecause she’s still all you can think about?”
Connor lunged at Brennan, bringing them toe to toe with their faces inches apart. “I am notimpotent,” he growled through his teeth.
“Yeah, you are, Sarge. But you have an opportunity to fix that by fixing this.” Brennan nodded toward the door. “That’s a woman who still loves you. But that’s also a woman who is so hurt that she can’t even see straight. If you would just be honest with her, you could work this out. And you treating her like shit is only hurting her more and ruining your chance at getting her back. And I know that’s what you want. I know you too well. You can’t bullshit me into thinking it’s not what you want.”
Connor’s veins were so electrified with rage over the whole situation that he knew he wasthis closeto decking his best friend, so he stepped backward. He paced furiously, slapping the ball cap against the side of his jeans. “It doesn’t matter what I want. She deserves better, and I already failed her. I’m fucked up. I was already fucked up when she and I were still together because of the fucking war, but after Morales, I’m a lost fucking cause.”
“You’re not a lost cause.” Brennan swung his gaze to the door and then back to Connor’s face. “But you should be honest with her and tell her that’s how you feel, andthenyou should tell herwhyyou feel that way. You need to man up and do something.” He paused for a long time, jingling the change in his pocket as though he were suddenly nervous. “If youdon’t…you are throwing away somethingamazing. And that would be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”
Something about the way Brennan said that last sentence caused Connor to stop pacing. He looked at his friend, sizing up his expression and posture because it looked a little…different. A second later, the possibility of something burst into Connor’s brain, and he verbalized it without thinking.
“You want her. Don’t you, Riley?”
Brennan met his gaze for all of a second before skimming his eyes up and across the ceiling. “What I want is for you to get over yourself.” He squared his eyes on Connor’s. “Because if you don’t, you’re going to miss out on your second chance at having the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
Connor lifted his hand to rub the stubble on his upper lip. “You didn’t answer my question.”
The two men stared each other down for several beats in complete silence. Brennan’s obstinate expression gave nothing away, but Connor wasn’t entirely convinced that he was wrong about his friend having feelings for Liza.
Eventually, Brennan exhaled loudly and moved toward the door. “I’d take a bullet for you, Sarge. You knowthat.” He gripped the handle and pulled the door open. “Do you really think I’d go after the love of your life?”
Connor arched a brow. “That didn’t answer my question either.”
“Well.” Brennan hitched his shoulders as he strolled through the hallway. “It should.”
Connor slipped down the hall behind Brennan, and then watched his friend march through the front room and briefly pause at Liza’s desk. Liza looked up at Brennan and promptly smiled. Brennan said something too low for Connor to hear, but whatever it was, it caused Liza to cut her eyes toward Connor as her smile faltered. Brennan knocked his knuckles on the desk, and Liza waved at him as he headed to the front door and slipped out.
There was only one thing Connor needed to do right now, and it had nothing to do with what Brennan possibly felt, nor what Brennan had claimed Liza felt. He lingered at the edge of the hallway for a second before clearing his throat and approaching her desk.
He opened his mouth to apologize, but he couldn’t put his words together quickly enough.
“Hi, Connor.” Liza turned slightly from her screen, glancing at him and gesturing with her open palm at an extra chair next to her desk. “Feel free to sit, but I can show you the album cover template really fast, so you don’t have to feel like you need to stick around too long.”
The chair was positioned so it faced her, and he sat, bracing one palm on his knee and resting his opposite elbow on the desk. She turned her head away from him and then focused her gaze on the screen.
She opened a folder and clicked through several files, opening one and then dragging and clicking the cursor on various parts of a graphic that he had to admit was a pretty sharp-looking album cover.
“Basically, it’s made up of the five elements I mentioned in the meeting.” She dragged and clicked and still didn’t look at him. “Artist portrait, thematic element, artist name, album title, logo.” She clicked other things and certain elements disappeared, reappeared, and floated to other parts of the design before returning to their original location. “Frankie can adjust opacity and layers and other facets to ensure that none of the elements ever look the same way twice. But by using this template, she’ll be able to do it more quickly and it eliminates the need to pore over the design every time.” Liza cleared her throat, but still didn’t look at him. “I’m sure you know from working with creative types that one of the biggest challenges an artist faces is a blank page. Graphic designers can struggle with that, too. This helps them. It’ll help Frankie.”
As she spoke, Connor noticed a distinct fragility in her voice, which reminded him he was the world’s biggest asshole, and that he didn’t deserve her, and that he had therefore done her a solid ten years ago.
He drew his index finger back and forth across his upper lip as he nodded. “I see that. You’re right. There is a lot of versatility in this thing, and those look sharp as hell. It’s a good idea.”
She gave a tiny, acknowledging nod and kept her eyes trained on the screen as she closed the windows. “Maybe sit with Frankie as she’s working on the first few to make sure everything is up to snuff, but I’m sure she won’t have any trouble maintaining the feel of the repertoire.” She folded her hands in her lap and looked at them. “And if you have any more concerns about anything, you can of course tell me. I’ll do whatever I can to ease your mind.”
“That’d be great. Thanks.” He nodded back even though she refused to look at him. Her long hair was swept up on top of her head in a pile of loose, elegant, dark chocolate waves, a couple strands of it draping down the sides of her swan-like neck. That beautiful neck that he’d indulged in kissing countless times. That polished alabaster skin he craved to kiss again, but knew he never would, and his chest began to ache again.
“Listen, Liza,” he finally said. “I really am sorr—”
“You honestly don’t need to apologize, Connor,” she said, andmy God, he loved the sound of his name on her lips. At least, he loved the old sound of his name on her lips. The one that was full of hopeless, endless adoration that had abruptly ended as a result of his utter failure and weakness. “I know you hate me, and it’s okay. I don’t know what I did all those years ago that made you suddenly hate me so much, but it doesn’t matter because I know whatever it was isn’t why you hate me now. I know you’re angry right now because you feel like me suddenly turning up like this is an invasion into your space. I’m sure you believed all of this was dead and buried, and I know it infuriates you that you’re suddenly having to deal with a daily reminder of something you chose to eliminate from your life.”
