“It’s not bullshit, and I’m telling you now because your thick head doesn’t get it. I don’t always get things right, but I’m hard on you because I know you’re made of metal, and you’re at your best when things are tough as hell. You’re a fine soldier, and a good man. I’m proud of you, son. I’m proud as hell.”
Liza’s hand was clamped so tightly over her mouth that she could barely breathe, but if she let even the tiniest breath escape, she knew it would snowball into heaving sobs.
“David?” came the voice of a panicked woman; a voice Liza knew from years ago, that of Connor’s mother, Nora. “David, is he okay?” She jogged over the levee and onto the sand, her yellow cotton dress whipping in the wind as a breeze gusted through, and she knelt down next to the Captain.
“He’s fine. He’s going to be just fine.”
“Baby. Oh my sweet son,” Nora said, framing Connor’s face between her palms. “Honey, you scared me so bad.”
The Captain shifted Connor off his chest and laid him flat on the ground. Connor lifted a shaking arm to hold his mother’s wrist.
“Sorry, Mama.”
“Why did you do this?” Nora’s voice cracked. “What is wrong with you? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“I don’t know, Mama. I just lost my head for a minute.” Connor lifted his trembling hands and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes. I don’t know how to—”
“Baby, you’re too reckless. I know you get angry and sad, but you can’t be impulsive like this.” She pulled his hands off his face and pointed at the river. “That could’ve killed you, and you know it. Do you want to die?”
Connor looked up at her. He was sopping wet, and Liza couldn’t tell if it was tears she saw running down his cheek or not. He glanced at Liza and then back to his mother. “No.”
“I hope not. I hope you can see how important you are. I hope you understand that you owe it to yourself and everyone who loves you to live and live well. You deserve that. And we don’t deserve to lose you. Don’t do that to us. Don’t hurt us like that.”
Connor’s throat bobbed and he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
The entire exchange was excruciating and heart-wrenching, and Liza suddenly felt as if she had no place there. She had agreed to marry him, but she wasn’t his wife. The whole situation dwarfed her because she was the catalyst but had no ability to make any of it right. And she knew that feeling was exactly why Connor had done so many of the things he’d done, up to and including running headfirst into a river that had all the power to drag him to oblivion, and it was more than she could handle.
Liza patted Ophelia’s arm still clamped around her chest and stood up. Ophelia and Scott remained, and a Coast Guard vessel had drifted to float parallel to the shore directly across from them. Sirens wailed as a firetruck and ambulance barreled down the street, screeching to a halt next to the levee. The neighbors watched from across the street with their hands over their mouths and hearts, and Liza simply stepped away. This neighborhood wastheirhome. Not hers.
None of this was hers, and she had no place in it.
Her feet sank in the wet sand as she slowly trudged away, staring at St. Louis Cathedral, tiny and gray in the distance. She could make out the spot on the edge of the Quarter where the strange fortune teller had informed her that forgiveness could save a man’s life.
That’s what Liza had done, and she had previously believed she’d done it for herself. To allow herself to let go of everything so her heart could heal. But forgiveness was a two-way street in more ways than one, and she knew it was all she could do for him. Maybe fate had only brought her back here to unlock the respective cages they’d both been trapped in.
And maybe Connor had needed the truth of what happened on that day in January to usher him to this crisis point, so he could finally purge himself of the heartsickness that had infected him for so long. Maybe nearly drowning in the mighty Mississippi was exactly what he needed to reconcile the rift with his dad, and the honesty offered by the Captain would be what ultimately proved to Connor that he was good. That he wasn’t a failure. That everyone knew his heart, and that he’d tried.
Liza knew. And she hoped the mere existence of that knowing would somehow reach him and help to soothe his aching soul. But there wasn’t anything else she could do. And this was not her place or her home.
She started up the grass of the levee and suddenly saw Brennan standing at the crest of the hill. His distinctive, gunmetal silver BMW was parked next to curb, and he slipped off his limo-tinted shades as he approached her.
“Where are you going, honey?” He lifted his chin as though gesturing at the scene behind her. “I think he needs you right now.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “He needs his family. He needs his friends.” She swallowed. “He needs you, so why don’t you go—”
“No, L. He needs you.” Brennan closed the distance between them and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “He needs you more than any of the rest of us. You need him, too. More than anyone else. You’re two parts of one whole, and you belong to each other. You always have. And that’s why fate brought you here.”
Brennan went completely blurry through Liza’s tears that welled up, and a large hand grabbed her wrist.
“Come on back, sweetheart,” the Captain said. “I know this is tough, and I know you’re upset, but you need to come back. He’s asking for you, and he needs you right now.”
Brennan offered her a warm smile and a nod. Liza turned to look at the Captain through bleary eyes, but didn’t protest and simply followed.
Connor was still on the sand, now surrounded by paramedics. They’d strapped a blood pressure cuff on his arm and an oxygen mask on his face. Nora, still kneeling at one of his sides, looked up at Liza through teary eyes and patted his hand.
“She’s right here, baby. She’s right there.”
He turned his head and reached for Liza with a trembling hand, placing it on the back of her ankle, and she knelt down.
