1
Austin, Texas
“Unfortunately, the only person you can truly believe in and trust in this world is yourself.” Leaning back in her chair, Liza Hardin reached for the box of tissues on her desk and handed one to her colleague, Renee, whose pink nose and red-rimmed eyes were leaking like a fifty-year-old faucet. “I know that sounds cynical, and it doesn’t mean you can’t open yourself up to people. You just have to keep in mind that if you put all your faith and future and happiness in their hands, they’ll probably let you down at some point.”
Renee’s forehead creased as she dabbed her eyes. “That doesn’t just sound cynical, Liza. Itiscynical.” She blew her nose. “And you’re not really making me feel any better.”
Liza considered this as she swiveled the office chair back and forth and glanced out the windows. Perched on the thirty-second floor of Frost Tower, Liza gazed at Downtown Austin and the hills in the distance that sprawled as far as her eyes could see. The sun sat low on the cloudless horizon, and the landscape basked in orange, pink, and purple.
“I’m sorry, Renee. It does suck. He’s an ass.” She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “Heis an ass, and you need to make sure you remember that. Remember that people are going to be an ass to you sometimes, but that doesn’t change the fact that you deserve to be treated with respect and common courtesy. Okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. Other than putting too much faith in him and letting your happiness and self-worth hinge on his choices.”
Liza swiveled the chair around to her desk and picked up a pen and a small notepad. She swirled back around to Renee and handed her the items. “Write down the five best things about yourself.”
Renee cocked her head and dropped her hands into her lap. “Are you serious right now?”
“I know this sounds silly, but it’ll help you feel better.” Liza shook the pad and pen at Renee. “Just humor me for a second.”
Renee wiped her nose once more before she balled the tissue into her fist and took the pad and pen. “Fine.” She hunched over her lap and began scribbling. “Number one, I think I—”
“No, no, don’t tell me,” Liza interjected, waving her hands. “This is for you, not me. If you think you have to tell me what you’re writing down, it’ll make you self-conscious and inhibit you from being honest with yourself.”
Renee sat upright and tilted her head toward the ceiling with a long sigh. “You know, you could’ve just said, ‘He’s a douche! Let’s leave early and go get Mexican Martinis.’”
Liza folded her arms across her chest and lifted an eyebrow. “Mexican Martinis aren’t going to help you avoid this situation in the future. You need a goal to focus on. Hitting a goal boosts your self-esteem. You need a confidence boost to help you hit the first goal, so you need to remind yourself of your inherent worth. So write down the five best things about yourself, and then write down a goal you want to accomplish in the next…” Liza pressed her fingertip to her lips as she pondered, and then gestured with her open palm at Renee. “Six weeks. Then write down three things you can do every day that will move you toward that goal.”
Renee gave a long sigh as she hunched over her lap and began scribbling again. “I really just want to go get a martini,” she mumbled.
Liza pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest again, glancing at a notebook on her desk that was full of her own goals and personal positive affirmations, and then skimmed her gaze across her office and the magnificent view. Framed magazine articles declaring the accomplishments of the independent record label for which she headed digital marketing hung proudly on the walls. Her shelves were full of photos of her at various events with the successful musicians that had catapulted from the obscurity of Austin’s Red River music district into the limelight of the mainstream music industry.
And best of all, her savings account had enough money in it for the down payment on a house. A house that, admittedly, didn’t exist yet. Liza would have to increase her savings quite a bit more before she would feel comfortable with that. She also had frigid feet at the idea of picking a place to live.
But the point was she had a tangible goal. And that goal was something in this world that was all hers, and that couldn’t be taken from her by anyone or anything. Her life was her own now, and she’d ensured she’d never again be at a place where her life and happiness were at the mercy of people or circumstances.
And martinisweren’t what got her here. Focus was what got her here. Andherewas a far cry fromthere; where she’d been only ten years prior.
And that was a place she’d never allow herself to return.
J.K. Rowling had famously said,Rock bottom is the firm foundation upon which I rebuilt my life, and Liza lived according to that mantra. In fact, it was printed and framed and sat on a shelf next to a photo of her with the label’s founders at the Grammy’s, where one of their groups had won an award for Best Americana Album.
Liza’s rock bottom was not all that dissimilar from Renee’s current predicament, except that it had gone down in a manner that resulted in far more tragic consequences, which was why Liza had made an immediate and drastic shift in the aftermath.
Which was also probably why whenever she took a friend or colleague through the motions of this confidence-boosting exercise in focus, they usually didn’t get it at the same level she had. A person had to reach a point where the pain of their situation was immense enough that they were determined to make a lasting change and do all the tedious work required.
And long ago, Liza had reached one hell of a painful situation. One that nearly cost her her life, one that cost her the entire future she’d planned at that time, and one that she would never forgive or forget.
Renee sighed loudly as she sat up and rubbed the back of her neck. “I can only think of three.”
Liza raised her eyebrows. “There’s really only three things you like about yourself? Renee, that’s—”
A brisk knock sounded on the frame of Liza’s open door and her boss, AJ, poked his head in. “Liza, you got a minute?”
She offered him a pleasant smile as she rolled the chair back behind the desk and stood. “You bet.” She turned to Renee. “Feel free to hang out in here if you want.”
Renee stood and pushed the chair back to the front of Liza’s desk. “Thanks, but I think I’m going to head out for the night.” She dropped the pad and pen on the desk as she made her way out of the office, and Liza resisted the urge to sigh in exasperation. “If you feel like going out later, I’ll be at Trudy’s drowning my sorrows.”
“Take an Uber,” Liza called after Renee, and then clasped her hands behind her back as she walked with AJ toward his office.
He shut the door and gestured at a chair. “Have a seat, Liza.”
