“Tell Meyer…” Ava pauses to inhale and exhale a couple of times. “...to tell Lucky he was right...and I’m sorry.”
A boulder suddenly lodges itself in my throat, and my eye rims immediately start burning. Meyer looks away from me, shaking his head in disgust because he heard everything I said to her right before she left.
Zoey sits up taller, jaw set and eyes boring holes into me through the screen. “I really don’t think you oweanyonean apology foranythingright now,” she clips, her harsh tone obviously directed at me.
“Can you just…” Another labored inhale and exhale. “...tell him, Zoe?”
Zoey lowers her forehead into her palm. “Of course, babe.”
There’s a long stretch of silence like Zoey’s waiting for Ava to add anything else. She wipes her nose with the back of her hand again.
“You still there, Ava girl?” she asks. “Ava?”
There’s another long pause, and my heart rate skyrockets.
“Hi, Zoey,” another woman’s voice comes over the line. “This is Allison. I’m one of Ava’s nurses.”
Zoey clears her throat. “Hey, Allison.”
“I just wanted to let you know she’s dozed off again. I didn’t want you to worry.”
All the blood rushes to my feet, and I have to brace my palms on the back of one of the chairs to keep from passing out. I reach to smash the cigarette in an ashtray.
“Okay, thank you,” Zoey says. “I know she’s super tired, so that’s probably good.”
“Yeah,” Allison echoes. “I’m going to prop up her iPad next to the bed in case you want to call on FaceTime later, but right now I’m going to charge her phone.”
“Thanks, Allison. Let her know she can call me whenever. I’ll be around, no matter what time it is.” Zoey pushes the phone away from her and turns all the way toward the camera again. “I know you already heard her,Vincent,so I’m not going to endorse that garbage by repeating it.”
She arches one eyebrow, and she’s never called me by my real name before, and that plusthe fact that she knows exactly what I did to Ava…let’s just say, in Zoey’s eyes, it’s clear I am officially public enemy number one.
“If you ask me,” she goes on, “she doesn’t owe you a goddamn thing, especially not an apology. I wouldn’t wish this virus onanyone, except maybeyouright now.”
“Zoey,” I say soberly, leaning toward the camera, “I called her to try and apologize. I really did. I fucked up. I know it. I told her that, too. She was still pissed at me, and she has every right. And I am prepared to grovel like a mother fucker right now to prove to her andyou that I’m sorry. But I can’t do that if I can’t talk to her. Please convince her to talk to me.”
“I am not doing anything for you,Vincent,” she snaps. “If you twoweren’t paying me out your asses, I wouldn’t even be doing this goddamn website for you. So if you want to talk to her, you’re just gonna have to keep trying to call her, and if shefeels like talking to you, she’ll answer.” She slams back against her chair and folds her arms across her chest. “I actually kinda feel like doubling my fee right about now, since we’re on this topic.”
I throw my hands in the air. “I’ll pay it!” I pull out the chair and drop myself back down in it so I can look her in the eye. “I’ll give you whatever you want. I just need to talk to her, and I think she’d be more likely to answer if you just…y’know…mentioned—”
“Ugh.” Zoey shakes her head in disgust while looking at me with contempt. “You just don’t get it at all. You are just…” She scoffs and rubs her fingers on the center of her forehead but doesn’t finish her sentence.
Instead, she props her elbows on the table in front of her, covering her face again while her head hangs below her shoulders. Her body convulses again, and this time, her restrained crying is more audible.
“She’s my best friend, you guys,” Zoey mumbles through a trembling, tear-filled voice. “She’s the best person I know, and she’s always been so down on herself.” She sniffles aggressively and lifts her head to wipe below her eyes. “Her parents are the worst kind of people.” She flips her hand at her side. “You notice how I’mthe one these nurses are talking to? Her parents can’t even be bothered.” She presses her hand to her chest. “I’m her emergency contact. I have been since we were like twenty years old. Her parents wreckedher when she was younger. They broke her down and made her think she’s some kind of underwhelming, disappointing person who doesn’t have the ability to do anything special with her life, when she really is special. She’s so smart and talented and capable, but they and this worthless boyfriend she had years ago convinced her that she’d never do anything great, and if she tried, she’d just disappoint herself and everyone else. And that made her too afraid to do anything, so she’s never even tried to step out of her comfort zone and do all the things I know she’s always wanted to do.
Zoey wipes her face again and points at me through the screen. “I had to convince her to go there and stay with you guys. She has loved you forever, and I knew she was too scared to go do something crazy like that, even though I knew it would be so much fun for her.” She scoffs again in total disgust. “If I’d realized how you were going to treat her, I wouldn’t have done that, but at the same time, it’s like...it’s like…” She shakes her head. “Even though you did that shit, there were still parts of it that I know she really loved. Because you really do matter to her. She’s pissed at you, and she deserves to be, but she still cares about you, and she still loved what you guys had with each other. And as pissed as Iam at you, I’m still glad she got to have that because I know it was a little taste of what she’s always really wanted. She wanted to experience passion and love and be part of something she sees as creative genius, and she got to do that while she was there. And now she…”
Another quiet sob shakes her shoulders, and all I can do is pinch the bridge of my nose and hang my head.
“She has that virus andthe fucking flu,” Zoey declares, her voice completely broken and blubbering. “She’s on oxygen, and this shit is wreckingher. For all we know, she could be dying right now. For all we know, she might die overnight in her sleep, and that phone call is the last any of us will ever hear from her, and the last thing she’s worrying about is making sure you know she thinks you were rightabout all that heinous shit you said to her.”
The dining room descends into silence, save for Zoey sniffling and the sound of Meyer’s shoes on the floor as he paces behind me.
I don’t think I can even speak without breaking down, but I have to say something.
“I can’t even tell you how sorry I am, Zoey,” I say while my own voice shakes and cracks. “I’m just sorry. I wish I could do something.”
“Then just call her, you chicken shit,” she clips, her voice a little more stable. “You don’t need me to ask her for permission, and I’m already doing everything for her anyway. I’m making sure she doesn’t lose her career and her livelihood while she’s fighting for her life. Because of that I don’t have the time to constantly call and check in with her, and stay on the line with her all day long while she’s incoherently asking me for the hundredth time if I’m the one who took her to the hospital, and then passing out because she’s too weak to stay awake, and then forgetting that she even talked to me. Soyoucan do that for her. You can put all your fancy piano guy shit aside for however long it takes to make sure you’re at her beck and fucking call, so that ifthis shit kills her, at least she’ll diethinkingthat someone in this world other than me cares about her and loves her. Even if it’s not fucking true.”
