It’s the same reason why, when you try to quit smoking, all you can think about is a nice long drag on a cigarette.
Whatever you can’t havebecomes the thing you want the most.
Thirty days after Ava became forbidden fruit by fucking my drummer, fucking heris all I can think about.
“Okay, so all we’re going to do is,” the object of my desire is saying while she absently adjusts the lapels of my jacket like we’re an old married couple, “just walk from here to the big room, and you’re just going to talk about how literally everyone is bored right now, and they should all get tickets for your first virtual concert, and then you’re just going to sit down at the piano and start playing, and we’ll end it there.”
I stare at Ava’s face, supremely focused and competent while she looks at me through the screen of a phone she’s pointing at me, and all I can think of is the handful of times I’ve felt her lips on mine. “Right.”
“For this one, it’s just going to be you by yourself, okay?” She keeps touching my lapel and staring at me through the phone, and I look straight back into the lens at her.
“Right,” I repeat.
“The mic is here.” She smooths my lapel between her fingers. “So don’t futz with your jacket or anything. If you bump it or touch it, it’ll be really loud on their end, and they might scroll away or mute you.”
“I never futz with my jacket,” I say, clasping the knot of my tie to adjust it.
Her eyebrows do an exasperated lift. “You’re futzing with it right now.”
“This is mytie, Ava.”
She grabs my hand and forces it down to my side. “Don’t touch anyof it. Keep your hands off your clothes. A lot of people will have headphones in, and if you bump it, it’ll sound like a gunshot in their ears.”
My eyes do an involuntary slow blink. “You been around a lot of gunshots, Ava doll?”
Her face blanches white, her lips part, and her deep, amber eyes shift awkwardly. “Oh, I…I mean—”
“I’m just fuckin’ with you.” I lift my palms in a surrendering gesture. “I’ll keep my hands away from my suit.”
“Okay.” There’s a slight blush creeping up her cheek, and I wonder what other parts of her flush like that when she’s all frazzled for different reasons. “Okay, so don’t be nervous and just, you know, be yourself.”
I catch her hand that’s holding the phone and draw it down so I can look her in the eyes. “The only person around here who’s nervous is you. Just relax, sweetie. I got this. You just point and shoot.”
“Right.” The word bursts out of her mouth on a nervous chuckle.
She lifts the phone again, backing away from me, and I shamelessly indulge in the sight of her svelte, toned legs on full display thanks to those tiny shorts. She wears them almost every day. They must be her favorite pair. They’re definitely my favorite pair now.
“Okay, everybody,” she calls to whoever’s in ear shot on the second floor. “We’re about to start, so keep clear of the hallway and stay on the balcony side of the big room.”
Meyer pokes his head into the hall from the big room, wearing a shit-eating grin. “Remember, Vin. This is live, so when you trip and fall on your face, everybody’s gonna see it.”
I return his shit-eating grin with a patronizing, closed-lip smile while adjusting one of my cufflinks. “Hey, Meyer. Go fuck yourself.”
Ava backs up to about five feet from me. “No cussing either.”
I cock my head at her. “Ava, in all the friggin’ videos of mine that you’ve seen, have I ever dropped a damn curse word?” I slip my hands in my pockets. “Jesus, folks. This ain’t exactly my first rodeo.”
“Okay, here we go.” Ava lifts the phone, silently counts to three on her fingers, and then points at me.
“Hey ya, guys and dolls. Lucky De Luca here.” I lift my hands to gesture at the hall and then point with both hands at the camera. “Trapped in quarantine, just like the rest of you.”
Ava beckons me with her finger as she starts walking backward, and my mind produces an image of her curling that finger at me while she leads me straight to her friggin’ bed.
“And I don’t know about you, but I am bored as hell,” I continue as I walk toward Ava and she walks backward down the hall and around the corner into the big room. Her eyes widen, seething in exasperation at the wordhell, and it only causes me to smirk. “I ended up quarantined with a bunch of the band, so we’re putting together something special for you guys.”
I cross the room, slipping one hand in my pocket while I wave my opposite hand at the room. “It’s gonna be a while before we’re able to get back on the road and see you fine folks again, so I’m inviting you all to join me for my very first virtual concert.” I sit down at the piano bench and trill a quick, ascending scale. “April thirtieth at seven p.m. central. Click the link below to get your tickets. I look forward to seeing you all right here at the Jazz Manor.”
Ava’s brow suddenly pulls low as she stares at the screen. “Play Never Gonna Give You Up,” she whispers loudly.
