“It’s no trouble at all, Elle,” he says, still smooth AF like the very first moment he spoke to me months ago, and still forcing me to sit with my knees clamped together. “I’ll be there around 5:30.”
“Okay.” I roll my head in a circle and press the heel of my palm to my forehead because Ican’t evenwith myself right now. “I’ll see you then.”
Desperation to regain control of myself causes me to end the call without thinkingandwithout saying ‘bye’.
“Shit.” I cringe at the screen. “That was rude.”
Andit would be totally awkward to call back just to apologize for not saying ‘bye’, and then immediately having to say ‘bye’ again. So, I guess I’m just going to have to live with being rude by accident. Or, since I’m actually about tosee himin a matter of hours, I can just apologize then.
Yay.
My stomach curdles again, and I may have to stop somewhere for crackers or something so I don’t accidentally puke on his fancy-ass shoes from nerves and excitement about paying off my loans.
I’ve been standing in the lobby of Elle’s bank for about two minutes, trying not to make it too obvious that my eyes are expectantly darting all over the place while I watch for her, lest anyone perceive my nervous behavior and standing around as me preparing to rob the place.
I check my watch more in an effort to make it obvious that I’m waiting for someone, and see that another two minutes have ticked by.
I wonder how long this will take. I don’t anticipate it taking too long, which is really disappointing. But it’s better thanneverseeing her again, which is the reality I’ve been living with for five weeks now—andyes, I have been counting the days. Apparently, being in love with someone you can’t be with will make you do pathetic shit like that.
I also can’t help wondering if,just maybe, it’s been enough time that I could potentially get a foot in the door with selling her onus. Nothing drastic or crazy. I could invite her for coffee. Coffee would be nice and safe, unlike a drink or a bite to eat, both of which would seem too much like an invitation for an impromptu date. Coffee would be like I’m trying to be friendly, and maybe the only way I can make this happen is by trying to be her friend first.
“Hey,” comes Elle’s voice from out of nowhere.
I blink and look to my left, and she’s standing right there.
“Oh. Hi.” I glance behind her on pure reflex. “I didn’t see you come in.”
She lifts a finger to point at some chairs set up in one corner of the lobby. “I was over there.”
“Oh, I guess I missed you.” I pause, taking in the sight of her, andthat’swhy I didn’t notice her.
Elle’s wearing a pale pink hoodie with jeans and sneakers. A black Yankees ball cap is on her head, and she pulled her long, blonde ponytail through the hole in the back. I’ve never seen her wear anything other than skirts and blouses for work, the sexy little dresses from our one weekend together, and my own damn t-shirts.
Fuck me.
Oh and lest I forget, her goddamnbirthday suit.
Fuck literally everything.
In her street clothes, Elle looks fuckingadorable, and it makes me want to invite her to one of those fictional Saturday morning yoga classes, and in case I haven’t mentioned this, I hate my fucking life.
Anyway.
I clear my throat and gesture at her. “I barely recognized you all dressed down like that.”
She grins as she tugs the bill of the hat. “My new boss is super chill and lets us wear whatever we want. There’s no need to impress anyone with myfancy outfits.”
She winks at me, but it’s not flirtatious and we both know it. It’s a direct reference to my shittiness as a boss and my sharp words on her first day.
I’m a piece of shit, and that’s why I’ll never be with her.
“Well, that’s a nice change of pace.” I offer a casual smile that belies the ache in my chest. “Celia mentioned you like your new job.”
“I really do. Of course, I haven’t really started working yet.” She folds her arms across her chest. “Anything with the slightest bit of bureaucracy involved is usually slow, and I’m still waiting on stuff. But I like what I’ve been doing so far. It’s a better fit than a corporate environment.”
Her posture and the way she’s looking at me are blatantly expectant, and I need to just give her the fucking check and leave.
“That’s really good to hear, Elle. I’m happy for you.” I reach into my inside jacket pocket to pull out the envelope and hold it out to her. “As promised.”
