“Well…” I rub my palms over my thighs to keep from reaching for her. “You did help.” I nod sideways at the door. “It wouldn’t have been that easy if I was trying to deal with them trying to set me up with Lili, so you helped. But you’re welcome anyway.”
Elle’s chin is trembling in a way that makes me want to kiss her bottom lip, and she drops her forehead to her knees as her sobs rev up again. I’ve never been around a woman crying with such intensity before, and I have no idea what to do right now.
“I’m glad this is such a good thing for you, Elle,” I add. “I know I’ve been kind of a piece of shit ever since—”
“Yesterday when we were in the car, I got really uncomfortable,” she starts to say, silencing me immediately because I recall the strange exchange between her and Celia. “It was because we went through this part of Queens that was…”
My brow pulls low as she pauses to sob again.
“My parents are really horrible people, Colin,” Elle picks back up, and I know whatthat’slike. “And this one time… I wassix…” Her words come out pinched with anguish. “They were fighting. Their fights werenastybecause they were usually high on something. They got into actual fistfights sometimes, but when theyreallywanted to hurt each other, they would dragmeinto it. Not by actually hitting me or hurting me or anything, but I was their pawn to hurt each other. And this one time, my dad dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night, and he was yelling at my mom stuff like, ‘I’ll fix this problem right now. Just watch me.’ And he put me in the car, and drove me to some random part of Queens, and he sat me down on a bench at a bus stop, and he just left me there. In my pajamas and socks, but no shoes. And I just sat there and waited all night.”
Disbelief has my eyes locked on her hidden face, and I bring my hand to my face to rub my mouth and chin. “Christ, Elle, that’s—”
“They’re horrible people,” she says again, more assertively. “But as I grew up, I started to understand that what turned them into that was having all these toxic habits that caused them to do stupid shit that hurt each other and hurt me. And when I was getting ready to graduate from high school, I decided I wanted to be a counselor or therapist or something so I could help people fix themselves before they got to a point where they would do the things my parents always did to me.” She lifts her face, her spilling eyes and quivering chin on full display. “I racked up more than a hundred thousand dollars in debt and interest so that I could try to keep another little six-year-old from getting left at a bus stop in the middle of the night. But the debt drowned me and kept me trapped living with my parents, and I never got the chance to do anything for anyone. Butnow…Ican. You made that possible.”
I’m still absently rubbing my mouth as we’re locked in a stare. I feel like I should spill my guts about Archer and all the shitourparents put us through, but I’m not about to dredge that shit up and expose myself to her. That kind of revealing conversation would only feed the feeble hope that’s already going to be a problem. And I know she only offered any of that information because she’s trying to underscore her gratitude.
“I’m really sorry to hear you went through stuff like that,” I finally say, neutrally, but warmly enough. “And I’m glad this’ll help you be able to do what you really want to do with your life.” In an effort to lighten the mood, I offer her a sly smile. “You should definitely be doing that instead of sales. ‘Cuz you kinda suck at sales.”
Elle laughs, wiping her eyes and nose again. “I know I do. So I don’t blame you for being a totally dickish boss this whole time.”
I smirk. “Thanks. I think.”
She smiles back at me and reaches for the plate to start eating again. We sit in silence for a few beats, and the story she just told me continues to roll over in my mind.
Curiosity gets the best of me, and I can’t stop myself before asking, “So what the hell was wrong with your parents that they blamed all their problems on you?” I pause. “I mean… it just seems a little extreme that he did something like that.”
“Oh,” Elle says off-handedly through a mouthful of eggs, then chews and swallows. “I was the only reason they got married in the first place.” She picks up the coffee to sip it. “They got drunk one weekend and hooked up and my mom got pregnant with me, so they got married. Then it was a stay-together-for-the-kids situation, even though staying together was the worst thing they could’ve done for me.” She gestures at me with the coffee cup. “A kid isnevera good reason to stay with someone. Especially if you’re both messed up. Being with someonejust becauseyou have a kid with them is basically a surefire way to fuck that poor kid up for life.”
I nod sagely becausethat’sthe damn truth. “I can’t argue with that. Makes a lot of sense.”
11
Elle Kissinger: I did something stupid.
Celia Huckabee: Oh for fcks sake, E.
Elle Kissinger: I know.
Elle Kissinger: I drank too much, but that’s all anyone here freaking did yesterday.
Elle Kissinger: What is with rich people anyway?
Celia Huckabee: I’m not one, so I don’t know.
Celia Huckabee: Well… was it at least GOOD?
Celia Huckabee: C’s pretty angry like all. The. Time. Seems like he’d be aggressive in the sack.
Elle Kissinger: It was AMAZEBALLS. I almost couldn’t walk afterward.
Celia Huckabee: LOOOOL GIRL
Elle Kissinger: Srsly tho
Celia Huckabee: omg I really can’t even right now. Ppl at the gym probably think I’m crazy from laughing.
Elle Kissinger: I’m crazy. It was such a bad idea.
