“Yeah—”
“And then you were probably planning to stop talking to me after we got home, right?”
Nick furrowed his brow. “Did Chase tell you that?”
She couldn’t contain the single brisk, condescending laugh that escaped her throat. “No, honey. I’m just not an idiot, and I know a guy who likes a conquest when I see one.” She grabbed her purse and pointed a finger at his face. “Andyouare that guy.”
In one surprisingly deft movement, he lifted off the couch and grabbed the hand that pointed at him. “Iwasthat guy, but I’m not anymore. I swear to you, everything changed that weekend.”
She snapped her arm away. “Why? Because after that weekend you knew you wouldn’t have the opportunity to go hook up with anyone so you suddenly decided to become a one woman kind of a guy?”
He grasped her shoulders, forcing her to look him dead in his eyes. “No. Because that whole day I was riddled with guilt about what I’d done the night before and my intentions for bringing you there. I truly, genuinely liked you and wanted to be with you, but I knew I’d screwed everything up before it even had a chance to begin! And I was completely torn up over it and so distracted by it that Istepped off the side of a cliff!”
Her gaze was still locked on his. Those beautiful green eyes that had a tendency to hypnotize her, cloud her judgment, and cause her to swoon. But right now they did none of those things. Right now they looked as pained and broken as the sensation that steadily materialized in the center of her chest, and it was all too much. Too many intense emotions, too much crap for one day, too much disappointment.
Too much, too much, too much.
So she only had one way to respond to the whole thing.
The hand clutching her purse dropped to her side, and the other flew to cover her face, as she began to choke out stifled sobs.
He held her shoulders and rubbed her back again, as he urged her into a hug. “Sweetheart, please don’t cry.”
But such a gesture felt hollow in the midst of everything, and she became that much more infuriated so she shoved his hands off her and stepped backward.
“I am allowed to cry!” she hollered as she curled her fingers into rigid fists at her sides. “I was fired and humiliated at work and now I find out that the guy I’ve beenunofficially seeingfor months is exactly the type of guy that caused me to avoid getting involved with anyone for two years! If there was ever a time I should cry, it’s right now!”
“Yes, of course, you’re allowed to cry. I’m just so sorry. You deserved so much better than what I’ve done. And the whole reason I’m telling you all of this is because I don’t want to be that guy anymore.” He clutched one hand to his chest and used the other to hold her shoulder. “I’m not that guy anymore. I want to be different, and I want to be different with you, and I want to start over.”
But all she could do was cry, and he leaned closer to her face.
“Sammie, I’ve seen what we can be together, and it’samazing.And I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole life.”
His words struck her heart. It was all she’d wanted him to say.Thetalk. Technically the good version ofthetalk, albeit spliced with so much extra baggage and deceit and unsavory behavior, that it essentially negated all the good.She knew he was the same person he’d been the whole time, but somehow he no longer registered in her mind as the guy she’d seen him twenty minutes prior. And what she decided was the utterly naive part of her heart or brain just wanted to say,it’s okay, just forget it, it’s not a big deal.
But it wasn’t okay. She wasn’t going to forget it. And it was averybig deal.
Whether or not she had the right to be mad no longer mattered because she just was.Mad at and betrayed by a guy who had technically never been hers. How was that possible?
Only her. This type of thing could only happen to her. Because clearly she was incapable of attracting a decent guy. Decent guys didn’t exist. Not in Samantha’s world.
She wiped her tears and drew in a deep breath. “I have wanted to hear you say that for so long, but… But I don’t know how I can trust you after you led me on.”
Nick’s green eyes instantly pierced hers. “I didn’t lead you on—”
She waved an arm in irritation. “All of that happened inAugust.You waitedmonthsto tell me all of this. Months during which we had nothing to do but talk. So why are you just now telling me this?”
He briefly clutched his temples, then dropped his arms in a shrug. “I have tried so many times to tell you. I swear I didn’t want to wait this long, I was just afraid.”
She shook her head aggressively. “Well, I feel like I don’t know who you are anymore.”
Immediately, he took on a furious appearance, the likes of which she’d never seen on him. “Sammie, don’t say that!”
She clenched her jaw at his use of her nickname. It was no longer sweet, or cute, but only summed up her assessment of his stark change in what was clearly his character up until the moment he slipped off the cliff.
He was delusional. Everything he’d said about wanting to be with her and seeing the potential in them had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with the dream he’d had that he couldn’t seem to let go of.
She shoved a finger into his chest. “You said however I feel about this is okay, and that’s how I feel so that has to be okay.”
