The weight of my despair feels like a physical burden, crushing me under its immense pressure. Darian, sensing the depth of my sorrow, gently pulls me across his lap and wraps one arm around my waist, as his other hand knots into my hair, caressing my head.
“I don’t want to go back to Firelands as a failure, Darian. I made a promise to Emmengar. I don’t know if I can break it.” I choke out, and the words catch in my throat. “I can’t… ”
“You won’t. I won’t let that happen, Arien. I promise.” His fingers move so softly against my hair.
Clinging to him, I bury my face in his chest and breathe him in. His steady heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, somehow calms me down once more.
Logically, this should feel strange. Sitting in a man’s lap, encircled by his arms. Physical touch has always been a foreign concept to me. But the strangeness never comes. Instead, there’s a profound sense of naturalness, ofrightness. It’s as if I belong here, nestled against this chest. As if his embrace had been a constant in my life once, a familiar comfort I’d somehowforgotten.
He smells like damp soil and rain-soaked leaves, a grounding, earthy scent that mingles with the crispness of the air and a hint of woodsmoke. It is the most alluring, masculine scent I have ever encountered. I imagine that’s what strength, wildness, and courage should smell like.
I inhale him deeply, committing his scent to memory, desperate to hold onto this moment, this connection, this man. The fear of losing it all mingles with a longing for something more, something deeper. The world outside his embrace fades away. I wish that time would stand still, that we could remain suspended in this moment forever, sheltered from the pain and uncertainty that the future holds.
I break the connection only when I feel him shift under me. I look up to see him staring out the window, his brow furrowed deeply. I see nothing but darkness when I follow his gaze. At my curious look, he says, “I thought I saw something outside. But I must have imagined it.”
“What if it’s another monster?” I ask nervously.
He gives me a reassuring smile. “I’d hear a monster moving, even in my sleep.”
A wave of self-consciousness, belated but intense, finally settles over me. Here I am, sitting in his lap, feeling oddly at home without even knowing if he feels the same way. The heat of shame creeps up my neck. I shift away slightly, trying to regain some shred of dignity, but his arms tighten around me.
“Don’t go,” he says softly, his breath warming my face. “I like holding you like this. You’re warm, and you smell nice.”
He leans in closer, and suddenly, it feels like the whole world shrinks away, leaving just the two of us. I can feel the warmth of his breath brushing against my skin, and it’s like fire spreading through me. My heart starts thumping against my ribs, but this time, it doesn’t feel scary. Instead, it’s both thrilling and dizzying at the same time.
I clear my mind, trying to understand what’s happening, and then, his lips, soft and warm like a gentle summer breeze, brush against my wet cheek, as if to kiss away the last remnants of a tear.
It’s a quick touch, almost like a feather landing, but it touches something deep inside me. I forget everything. My entire body heats like lava, and for a moment, it feels like I’m molding into him. His mouth, those beautifully shaped lips, finds my tear-stained eyelid, kissing it with impossible softness, then moves to my chin, my forehead, and back to my cheek. The sheer sweetness of his touch catches me utterly off guard, threatening to bring on a fresh wave of tears.
But I can’t let them fall—not now. This moment is too precious, too delicate to ruin with tears. I blink hard and focus on the warmth radiating from where his lips met my skin, wanting to hold onto this moment for just a little longer. It’s unexpected, this tenderness, and it makes my heart swell with emotions I didn’t know I needed to feel, and my body tremble with an urgent, unspoken desire for… more.
“I didn’t mean to break down like that,” I murmur, my voice still thick with emotion, my face turned slightly away, unable to fully meet his gaze. “I used to have these… attacks of terror… when I was younger, but it’s been a long time. I don’t know what came over me…”
“It’s all right,” he reassures me, his voice a gentle caress. His hand, which had stilled on my back, resumes a slow, soothing circle. “We all have our moments. And you’ve been exhausted and sleep-deprived.” He pauses, and I feel, rather than see, his smile. “Believe it or not,” he murmurs, his voice dropping to a near-whisper, his lips close to my ear again, “you’re calming me down like this more than I’m calming you down. Stay. Please.” The word is almost a breath against my skin.
And that, I do gladly. I melt into his chest, and the solid wall of his body becomes a comforting shield once more. His hand continues its soothing rhythm on my hair, like a silent promise of safety and warmth. The steady beat of his heart beneath my ear is a lullaby. I don’t remember when I fall asleep, but when I finally drift off, it is into a slumber so deep, so peaceful, that no nightmare dares to intrude.
It must be a few moments later, or maybe a lifetime, when I wake to a gentle shake and the soft murmur of my name. “Arien.”
My eyelids protest against the sudden intrusion of the bright morninglight. I am lying on the blanket from the night before, and the unfamiliar ceiling of the cottage looms above me.
It takes a few moments for my brain to wake up, but I jolt upright when it does. “Oh, gods! How long did I sleep? Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Calm down. I let you sleep a little longer.”
I gape at him, incredulous. Is he mad? Every second counts, and he let me sleep in like we were on a leisurely trip? But before I can unleash my torrent of panicked questions, he adds, “We have a horse.”
He must see the disbelief etched on my face, for he simply takes my hand and leads me outside. And there it is. A magnificent silver-gray stallion calmly grazes in the clearing.
“Did you find a village while I was asleep?” I stammer, still struggling to process this unexpected turn of events.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone here, not with those monsters lurking about. But after you fell asleep, I barricaded the door and scouted the area. I found a path that led to a nearby village, but I didn’t dare leave you alone for long. So I came back to wake you, and there it was.” He gestures toward the creature.
I stare at the horse, utterly bewildered. “This doesn’t look like a wild horse.”
“No, it doesn’t. At first, I thought it belonged to the cottage owner, returning now that people were here. But… ” He points to a nearby tree where the horse is tethered. “Someone tied it here for us.”
Of all the strange things we have encountered in these trials, this is by far the most baffling. Who would leave a perfectly good horse for us in the middle of nowhere? It is as if the gods themselves had intervened.
